Are men tooooo girly these days?

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by D_Millard Fillermore, Nov 19, 2011.

  1. D_Millard Fillermore

    D_Millard Fillermore Account Disabled

    Joined:
    Nov 9, 2011
    Messages:
    109
    Likes Received:
    1
    Just read an article not too long ago that questioned the usefulness of "The Girly Man" duh duh duhhhhhhh lol. Figured it'd be a good topic to discuss. So if you had to choose between a masculine guy or a feminine guy (whatever either of those labels even means) which would it be?

    Actually meant straight men in general but hey all forms of input are welcome :)
     
    #1 D_Millard Fillermore, Nov 19, 2011
    Last edited: Nov 19, 2011
  2. B_chinagirl4u2

    B_chinagirl4u2 New Member

    Joined:
    Nov 1, 2011
    Messages:
    568
    Likes Received:
    8
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    Hainan
    Men should be men..masculine

    Girls should be girls .. Feminine
     
  3. Valium

    Valium Member

    Joined:
    Apr 11, 2007
    Messages:
    62
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    I'd have to agree with Chinagirl
     
  4. erratic

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Nov 27, 2007
    Messages:
    4,410
    Likes Received:
    287
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Canada
    This is the first place my brain always goes.

    I know women (and men) who insist that they want "manly men" but get all grossed out by chest hair - let alone back hair. Meanwhile, I know tonnes of people who are 100% into emotionally-attuned hipster guys (those would be girly men, right?) who are into beards and cooperative farming and shit (does that then make them manly, or just cancel out the girly shit?). WTF.

    Then you get into cultural connotations of what masculine or feminine behaviour is. That's an absolute minefield as different cultures (and different religions, and different families, and different circles of friends) have different expectations about what constitutes gender-stereotyped behaviour. These stereotypes are often contradictory as well - men are not allowed to show emotion, but are allowed to express rage and anger (which, last I checked, were emotions), while women are allowed to express emotion, but are not allowed to express rage, anger, or lust. So men are expected to spend their entire lives pretending they never get sad, while women get to stay at home feeling sad and sexless? That totally sounds like a world I'd love to live in.

    Meanwhile, manly men are expected to do manly things and show no interest in girly things; so how does it follow that manly men should be allowed to be interested in women, who are supposed to be the physical manifestation of all things girly and soft? Logically, shouldn't manly men want to fuck manly men? But wait...that would be gay, which is feminine. So two giant, hairy guys fucking is feminine. That makes absolute sense to me.

    I don't think men are too girly these days because the whole system of what constitutes "masculine" and "feminine" is illogical, inconsistent, culturally-biased, and emotionally hobbled. I'd rather men and women (and everyone in between) be how they want to be - whether that means growing a beard and chopping down trees in rural Quebec, or learning how to crochet, or both.
     
    #4 erratic, Nov 19, 2011
    Last edited: Nov 19, 2011
  5. alx

    alx
    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Feb 24, 2010
    Messages:
    1,065
    Likes Received:
    3
    Gender:
    Male
    What is masculine and what is feminine? I'm both put together, and exploit the best in both.
     
  6. D_Millard Fillermore

    D_Millard Fillermore Account Disabled

    Joined:
    Nov 9, 2011
    Messages:
    109
    Likes Received:
    1
    Yeah your whole post is why i was asking. Thought about putting it in the Woman's issue err group but it seemed like too wide a question for that. But that is the very confusion that inspired the question.

    Like seriously what makes a man a man? (haha hellboy reference) If its aggression and responsibility then there are a whole crap ton of men out there without penis'sesi.

    Didn't want this to be a soap box moment or anything. But i don't think it even matters. Most of the women i've come in contact with want a certain type of guy. Other guys mostly respect a certain type of guy and the media well.....we all know about the media.

    I doubt this'll be serious issue for awhile. Gender roles with women yeah sure but not with men. I think the majority of the world likes the way things are now. Was just asking out of random curiosity. Or to be an anus... confirmation.
     
  7. sexplease

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Oct 23, 2006
    Messages:
    1,724
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    87
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Santa Monica CA
    There was a time, not so many years ago, when hunting and gathering and protecting your kith and kin was the way of the hominids. Now, with ballistic weaponry, cell phones, and auto-locomotion etal, it seems it is easier for women to have a little less need for such protective behavior and brutes.
    I think the drive of the human male (testosterone) is the same, it's just that women are more self sufficient and techno-tough these days.
     
    #7 sexplease, Nov 19, 2011
    Last edited: Nov 19, 2011
  8. omgwtflol

    omgwtflol New Member

    Joined:
    Oct 5, 2010
    Messages:
    96
    Albums:
    3
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    Define manliness? I am a mechanic (until I finish my degree) and avid car enthusiast, but I also tend to dress nice when I'm not working and could be taken as a girly man.

    I think a lot of girls want men that are men, but do have a softer side to them.
     
  9. hungteen19921992

    hungteen19921992 Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Aug 6, 2011
    Messages:
    277
    Albums:
    2
    Likes Received:
    869
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    North Carolina
    How about not adhering to either stereotype and just be yourself? I find women who are outgoing and not "pretty princess" feminine more attractive than stuck-up ones. I also think men who are masculine for the sake of being masculine (especially living in a college dorm) are douchebags.
     
  10. petite

    petite New Member

    Joined:
    Mar 3, 2010
    Messages:
    7,539
    Albums:
    2
    Likes Received:
    33
    Gender:
    Female
    I like people who are authentically whomever they are. Those people are a lot sexier than people who are afraid of being too masculine or too feminine.
     
  11. dylz

    Verified Gold Member

    Joined:
    Feb 13, 2007
    Messages:
    1,070
    Albums:
    3
    Likes Received:
    1,152
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    United States
    Verified:
    Photo
    i agree with the two posts above me. i dont see masculinity or femininity as weak or harmful and think that people should feel to express themselves as they are. sadly it appears many people are still very judgmental about these things.
     
  12. B_debonair87

    B_debonair87 New Member

    Joined:
    Jul 25, 2011
    Messages:
    274
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    nyc
    i'm somewhat in touch with my feminine side and ain't scared to admit.

    i care a lot about my physical appearance. work out regularly, i use mens beauty products, shave my body down, get my eyebrows threaded, get mani's and pedi's twice a month, and i love clothes and shoes.

    other than that i'm pretty masculine. don't really show emotion, i have to wear the pants in my relationships, and i gotta have complete control in my life as well as in my career. (the career i'm working towards)
     
  13. LuciferChild

    LuciferChild New Member

    Joined:
    Apr 23, 2010
    Messages:
    720
    Likes Received:
    1
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Uk
    Correction:

    Men should be whay they want!
    Girls(?)...Womans should be what they want!

    according to chinagirl4u2 and Valium mens left masculinity when they start cooking/cleaning , and woman left their feminity when started to wear pants/jeans, right girl?
     
    #13 LuciferChild, Nov 19, 2011
    Last edited: Nov 19, 2011
  14. LuciferChild

    LuciferChild New Member

    Joined:
    Apr 23, 2010
    Messages:
    720
    Likes Received:
    1
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Uk
    thats not being feminine, there a new term for those men who cares about their appearance it calls Metrossexual (at least in my language, dont know if english use it), is the kind of guys like Cristiano Ronaldo, those ones who define their eyebrows, paint their feet nails, treats their face skin, use a bit of makeup etc they still being men,still loving womans if straights.
     
  15. MoneyForNothing

    Joined:
    Dec 8, 2010
    Messages:
    203
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Ontario
    I have very little femininity and I feel like the obsolete one.

    That doesn't surprise me about Cristiano Ronaldo. He's very expressive and a great actor.
     
    #15 MoneyForNothing, Nov 20, 2011
    Last edited: Nov 20, 2011
  16. D_JohnUpHerPipe

    D_JohnUpHerPipe New Member

    Joined:
    Jul 30, 2007
    Messages:
    158
    Likes Received:
    0
    Exactly! There is nothing wrong with a man taking care of himself (If this is viewed am feminine). I also think that men, when they get to a certain age and take care of themselves look incredible, look at the Gary Barlow type men out there. Moisturiser is not a feminine thing, men who take care of themselves are incredibly sexy. As are those who just go with life and be exactly who they are meant to be.
     
  17. D_Bob_Crotchitch

    D_Bob_Crotchitch New Member

    Joined:
    Jun 11, 2006
    Messages:
    8,498
    Likes Received:
    18
    Outward behavior doesn't determine the type of man. When it comes to hard situations, a lot of the so called "masculine men" are total wusses. If they can't punch their way out of it, they can't deal with yet. There was a super bad situation at work. The person who stood up for what was right, had to endure major persecution. It was the sickly little non-macho dude who fought for everybody. The macho dudes ran like hell to stay out of the way. Bunch of nut floating pussies.
     
  18. I23

    I23 New Member

    Joined:
    Jul 26, 2010
    Messages:
    73
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    RAW Comedy Club - Steve Hughes - YouTube

    7.20 - 9.40 addresses this pretty well I think.
     
  19. D_Jacqueline_Boozann

    Joined:
    Aug 24, 2011
    Messages:
    1,023
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    12
    I definitely love my men masculine; no purses or pockebooks, please. Although I like gay men who are conservative; not flamy (a word?) -- unless we are friends.

    Yes, I could date a bi-man as long as he (1) does not bring him home or (2) bring me back a disease (even though most men use condomns) or (3) can satisfy me.

    However, if I wanted to date a bi-white male (my choice)...and I am black -- they are hard to find in Albuquerque, NM.
     
  20. LaFemme

    Verified Gold Member

    Joined:
    Aug 16, 2010
    Messages:
    8,736
    Albums:
    2
    Likes Received:
    3,852
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    Canada
    Verified:
    Photo
    +1
     
Draft saved Draft deleted