Are Orgasms Ever Impossible?

Discussion in 'Women's Issues' started by _Jonesy, May 9, 2011.

  1. _Jonesy

    _Jonesy Member

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    Hey girls, just curious since some of you may well have overcome this issue yourselves!

    I've been sort of on-off seeing this girl for a few weeks now and it came round to having sex. She'd made it clear before that she had never in her life had an orgasm, so I took that as a challenge and asked her whether the guys did much/how big they were to see what may have influenced it. She said the other 3 guys had 'decent' sized penis' and sex had never lasted longer than 20 minutes and on average lasted 5 minutes(poor girl, right). But this was the norm for her so she didn't mind.

    So we had sex, it lasted about 40 minutes and I had to stop because she became 'sore'. She said not only was I the biggest but the best by a long shot and said she would never be able to go back after (score, right?).

    But she still didn't have an orgasm. She was moaning and loving it throughout the whole session, but she never had the orgasm. She looked like she was going to a few times, but it just never came.

    This made me wonder, is it genuinely impossible for her? Or does she need to discover what makes her cum, in that it is just more difficult for her?

    Thanks for any feedback, the goal of this thread is to try and introduce this girl to this divine pleasure.

    Cheers,
    Dan
     
  2. Gecko4lif

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    Usually there needs to be some kind of emotional fulfillment or relaxation going on
     
  3. _Jonesy

    _Jonesy Member

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    To make it easier? Yeh. Makes me wonder what happened with the one night stands that worked though lol.
     
  4. HiddenLacey

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    The only person that can really answer that question is your girlfriend. In my opinion, if she can't bring herself to orgasm the chance of you doing it is probably less. Unless she has a hang-up about touching herself so she's never masturbated?

    Personally orgasms are more mental than physical for me. It's the correct combination of both that gets me there. If I have a mental block up, NOTHING would make it happen, but I'm only speaking on behalf of myself.

    It's always possible if you explore with her and are attentive she could get there, but maybe not.
     
  5. _Jonesy

    _Jonesy Member

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    She has a LOT of bad mis-understandings about sex I'm going to put right. She thinks that girls don't do anything in bed and it's the guys job to do all the work, that's problem number one I'm sorting. I don't think that is her fault though, from the way she talked about her ex's they were very much using her for sex. Cum as fast as possible in a selfish kind of way, if you get me.

    Masturbating? She doesn't do it a lot I don't think. If she's never made herself cum it suggests she doesn't.

    Exploration like you say is probably key, thanks submissive.
     
  6. paigexox

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    I am surprised we haven't gotten the LPSG BOOYAH going on in here where the answer is just dick dick dick, more dick, a bigger dick, deeper/faster/more, and all that lols.

    Sincerely, take the smart route and explore her body with her involvement. Just set aside an evening or plan an occasion that fun and relaxed, with no emphasis on orgasm, but rather just fun and pleasure. Use toys, lube, tricks and techniques, explore he body and show her what the different areas of her vagina can do if she doesn't already know. :tongue:

    The best thing you can do is establish a solid romantic connection with her by doing the above and showing her the other side of sex that she's clearly ignorant too.

    /\ The best damn rehab program ever.
     
  7. Gecko4lif

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    One nights stand are their way of validation. It works :cool:

    If you really want her to cum you have to relax her. Make sure she knows there is no pressure and that there is no objective (there is but dont tell her that)
     
  8. _Jonesy

    _Jonesy Member

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    Thanks for the more sincere reply Paige :p
    I thought if I elaborated in my first post (rather than just saying why cant she cum) then I would get more thoughtful responses lol.

    But what you are all saying is that orgasms are not impossible for anybody? It is just understanding your body?
     
  9. HiddenLacey

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    Maybe they are impossible for her? There are posts by women all over the internet that say they have never had an orgasm. I'm not one of those women so I honestly don't know if it's impossible or not?

    A lot of people, men and women both have hang-ups about sex. She has to be willing to try to work past them, it can't just be because you want her to get there :)
     
  10. _Jonesy

    _Jonesy Member

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    I'll report back if I unlock the secrets of sex. Might write kama sutra 2 lol. I'm sure it could happen in time.
     
  11. D_Fizzy Cola Bottles

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    Has your girlfriend ever considered discussing this with a therapist? I'm not saying she needs to, but that maybe her issues are larger than you and your abilities and intents no matter how sincere you may be.
     
  12. dolfette

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    from two days before my period starts, my orgasms vanish.
    some birth control pills kill my orgasms too.

    weird that.
     
  13. B_subgirrl

    B_subgirrl New Member

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    Some women really don't seem able to have orgasms. And it's not that uncommon. It doesn't mean she isn't enjoying it. Don't pressure her about it and just let her enjoy herself. If it's going to happen, it will happen.
     
  14. Intrigue

    Intrigue New Member

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    I wrote a response but the evil interwebs stolez it. I'll try to write it again. I recommend, highly, a book I read and still read Tantric Secrets For Men. Although the title implies it for men it is in fact for the couple. It will teach you many things if your willing. The first one that it taught me was Orgasm is NOT the goal. Just BE. And the second is to honor your partner. It has many exercises designed to bring a couple closer and establish a "Heart" connection. I used these techniques to change my outlook and improve things with my wife. It also has many activities that can help break down the barriers past experiences have forced us to put up. It focuses on the energy exchange, eventually, between two people. It also focuses on strengthening the "heart" and helping you to connect. Maybe these types of activities and gentle slow progress can help you and your partner become closer and open up sex for you. Any other questions you have I would be glad to answer.


    (Sorry if I'm rambling, but the book did alot for me in so far as helping me to open up to my wife and helped me to love her better in all facets so I really hope this helps and you two discover how wonderfully awesome sex can be)

    After re reading the post I'm a tard, I think totally misread the OP. That book is still very helpful but my experience was more of a married one and not something that was done with a new gf. My apologies. You can still learnany things from the book but the love thing is probably way to early for you two. Sorry
     
    #14 Intrigue, May 11, 2011
    Last edited: May 11, 2011
  15. D_Leonna Javelincatcher

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    Great input all, I will add one more...and again, it's just me. Sometimes it is just one of those nights. The prelude is perfect, hubby smells great, glass of wine is wonderful, music is soothing, the massage was amazing, I am soaking, and after 90 min of every position, toy, mouth and finger, I can't get there. It is just on the verge of frustrating...then I remember to just enjoy the ride.

    If orgasm is the goal, then I can be frustrated. If connecting is the goal then I am free to enjoy us and I cum-often. Then again, like a scratch I can't itch, it may not happen, and I am okay with that too.

    Renee
     
  16. Intrigue

    Intrigue New Member

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    I can't tell you how many times that has happened to me. Spend all night making love, fucking, playing, stroking, sucking and I still can't get off. But I feel like a frikkin machine, I cam keep going as long as ita comfy or fun for the mrs. Which boosts me up and makes me feel much better about the whole non orgasm thing. Its hard to get past that goal oriented mentality. Especially for me. I'm wicked competitive.
     
  17. VernalTiger

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    Yes. For me. I'm 27 and it still hasn't happened.

    I got plenty relaxed in my 3 year relationship, and the 6 year relationship before then.

    To the OP - concentrate on showing her how enjoyable interactive mutual sex can be. Concentrate on the fun! Don't become too goal-driven - if it happens, great! But if it doesn't, there's always tomorrow.
     
  18. redbear52

    redbear52 New Member

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    There are some women who are truly anorgasmic.

    Having said that, I would try using your tongue.
     
  19. helgaleena

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    Orgasm is always impossible if my heart isn't in it. I have to want the sex I am actually having. I have to be in an 'oh wow this is good' mentality. If I am preoccupied with anything at all i cannot enjoy.
     
  20. Intrigue

    Intrigue New Member

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    I agree. If my mind isn't there neither is my member. Once I check out upstairs its bye bye boner.
     
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