Are Sex and Love the Same Thing for You?

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by earllogjam, Aug 8, 2008.

  1. earllogjam

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    Do you only have sex with people you love? Is affection and caring essential when you have sex?

    Or

    Is sex and love different and separate things for you? Is sex is more like recreation?
     
  2. Principessa

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    You gotta be kidding me? You know the answer you have been on the site longer than me. Even if you hadn't it's pretty obvious. Sorry, but this is your dumbest question yet Earl.

    Most, but not all, women need to be in love to have sex. I have had sex without love and I don't like it. I never cum from it so it is a completely empty experience and therefore useless for me.

    Sex and love are often, but not always separate for men. On this site gay and bi men seem to be quite adept at engaging in sex w/o love. My guess is that most hetero swingers are also adept at sex w/o love.
     
    #2 Principessa, Aug 8, 2008
    Last edited: Aug 8, 2008
  3. Not_Punny

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    I can't tell you the number of times I had sex in place of affection. Nor can I tell you the number of times that I thought I had love and affection, and all it was was sex.

    To me, the two things are irreversibly confused and intertwined.

    I've come to the conclusion that I have no "radar" to distinguish them.

    So, bring on the sex! :biggrin1::wink:
     
  4. whatireallywant

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    I can totally separate sex and love. I can have sex with a lot of guys, but I can't love very many at all.

    And I've thoroughly enjoyed recreational sex! :smile:
     
  5. DaveyR

    DaveyR Retired Moderator
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    Only a dumb question if you make assumptions that most men think the same and women too. They don't. They are all very much individual.
     
  6. D_Jared Padalicki

    D_Jared Padalicki Account Disabled

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    Okey, those two are different things, but I think when these two things are together ir's better. Does this make any sence :rolleyes:
     
  7. D_Kay_Sarah_Sarah

    D_Kay_Sarah_Sarah Account Disabled

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    I cant fuck without love or at least some kind of connection/affection
     
  8. grilditz

    grilditz New Member

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    My wife is a classic example of this. She liked to have sex. She openly admitted to it before we met. I fall in love to easy and wear my heart on my sleeve and commit to just one person.

    She thinks it's weired specially me being a guy that I can't just sleep with someone and not have feelings. I think it's weird for a woman "her" being able to do it without bating an eye.

    She is very very emotionless when it comes to shit like this and it makes me wonder how and why she became this way. It's the mysterious stuff like this that makes me even more attracted to her.

    But yeah, if a girl so much as smiled at me I fell in love. My wife is one hard cookie to figure out and has about the same emotional development as an unplugged appliance but god I love that woman.
     
  9. ballsaplenty2156

    ballsaplenty2156 New Member

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    Pieterjoke, you are one very cool dude!! Despite the spelling errors, you said it perfectly. The more I read what you post, the harder I find it that you haven't been devirginized. You are incredibly intelligent, extremely good looking, sexy as hell, and have a great sense of humor. Some woman should be fucking your brains out, you're a total package!!

    Now, to the thread at hand, I've had sex more times than I probably should have at this age. Never once did I ever tell anyone, male or female, that I loved them. The people I have told I love, I would never sex with them. I have not yet experienced that kind of romantic love. Maybe that's a failing on my part, but I'm not ready to commit my heart and soul to someone yet.
     
  10. Axcess

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    The answer is simple . Most men ( not all ) separates sex from love .
    Most woman ( not all ) connects sex with some love or affection .
     
  11. Phil Ayesho

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    I can have sex just for fun....

    But with women I really only am interested in them sexually if there is an emotional connection.

    And once I am committed to a given woman... I am pretty much uninterested in sex for fun, or sex with anyone else...

    Sex for fun, while fun, simply can not compare with intimacy.
     
  12. rugbydude88

    rugbydude88 Active Member

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    i don't see any connection whatsoever between sex and love, they are mutually exclusive more often than not.
     
  13. B_cigarbabe

    B_cigarbabe New Member

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    Tell it Davey!
    I hate those kind of lame assumptions. Oh hi nj I didn't know that was you! :biggrin1:
    You can have sex w/o love and have it be totally satisfying as W.I.R.W. said or you can combine the sex and love for a totally amazing experience.
    Your choice your pleasure! {or not!}
    cigarbabe:saevil:
     
  14. D_Landrocke DeLonguepiece III

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  15. KIKEMAN29

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    I can't love without fucking
    but I love fucking without love
     
  16. joybunny

    joybunny New Member

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    Not necessarily. Yes.

    Or

    No. I have to feel some type of affection for that person first. However, afterwards having sex with that same person can sometimes be like recreation but with emotion. I think it's much different for women because sex for most of us begins in the mind and not the body. There must be some type of emotional connection with that individual first before sex happens.
     
  17. invisibleman

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    Nowadays, I hope that people are really making the distinctions between love and sex. People are really sophisticated. I am really picky about sex and who I love. I don't take a lot of stuff like I used to take off of men.
     
  18. Corius

    Corius New Member

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    My guess is that even those who say they enjoy casual sex are bright enough not to ever say that they enjoy casual love. Love is a much more encompassing word than sex. Sex suggests a physical connection which "with enough motion" can provide the "release" which pretty well describes its purpose for some. "Bam, bam, thank you, ma'am!" is hardly an expression of love. We speak of masturbation as a form or self love and most of us agree that it is important to love one's self. But, when the goal of sexual intercourse is mere release for even both parties we speak of that as mutual masturbation. That is still a long way from love.

    I like this definition of love: "To love is to seek the good of the other for the sake of the other." When two persons approach sex with that attitude, when both parties have the aim of pleasing the other, a wonderful thing happens: both are not just satisfied but affirmed and the bond between them is made stronger. It's a win-win and no one feels used.

    Sex does not necessarily lead to love. Love often finds it deepest expression in sex and love can outlast the sex.
     
  19. TurkeyWithaSunburn

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    Nope. Sex is the physical act. Love is the emotional connection.

    "Making love" is the best a physical act with the person you have an emotional connection with. A true psychological feeling of joy and bliss when that occurs.
     
  20. RamIt

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    Great sex makes me fall in love.


    Love makes me have great sex.


    Therefore, I love great sex.
     
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