Are some people destined to be perpetually single?

HairyTXdude

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heheh well when i was a baby, people were scared of me.. I was walking and talking in complete sentences at 7 or 8 months old. Mom said that people would just get so freaked out by me. They thought I was older but hadn't grown at all. :)

hmm someones a smart-ass! hehe :tongue:



my mother flipped when my first word was "Cat" :smile:
 

OCMuscleJock

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hmm someones a smart-ass! hehe :tongue:



my mother flipped when my first word was "Cat" :smile:

shhhh dont tell people I'm smart....will ruin my big southern boy/dumb jock image. :)

you get things when you play dumb :) and people expect less out of you. Works till they get to know me. haha
 

NCbear

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shhhh dont tell people I'm smart....will ruin my big southern boy/dumb jock image. :)

you get things when you play dumb :) and people expect less out of you. Works till they get to know me. haha

People believe you when you play dumb, OCMuscleJock?

NCbear (who's genuinely surprised)
 

OCMuscleJock

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People believe you when you play dumb, OCMuscleJock?

NCbear (who's genuinely surprised)

oh yes... I was a working actor for almost 10 yrs... I can make people believe anything I want. :) Famous actor no...but paid the bills. :)

You have to be a good liar to be an actor. That way you can play different parts and make them seem real. :)
 

Steve26

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Going back to the OP ... I don't think there's anything that unusual about not having dated much at 19. I had a fairly serious relationship in high school but as a college freshman was one of the very few in my crowd of a few dozen friends who had much relationship experience to speak of. And from what I hear, teens "date" a lot less today than they did back then (early 1990s), so the number is probably even lower now.

I'd echo what everyone else has basically said: You're young, so don't lose any sleep over this.

Steve
 

thadjock

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the biggest thing that turns me off when i first meet a guy is if he's giving off some kind of negative energy about how he feels about himself.

insecurity isn't attractive, and it's hard to fake confidence, so work on being ok with who and what you are and what you bring to the table. you'll be much more successful.

the hottest guys i've ever been with were well centered and sorted out within themselves.
 

D_Rawkesbye Deadheade

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It's more of a choice than destiny I think. You're a decent looking bloke, mate. Give yourself a big pat on the back and get back in the game. All those harsh rejections happened for a good reason - those people were jerks and you wouldn't have been happy with them in the end anyway. Think of it as a selection process. Harsh as it may be when the right one comes along it'll be worth it.

Good luck man!
 

earllogjam

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It sounds like you are more in love with the idea of being in love than really wanting or even needing a loving mate.

You can't force love. Nor can you force people to like or love you. I don't think you want to go putting up fronts to be more desirable because then girls won't love who you really are - and the idea is for someone to love the real you. Don't sweat it, it will come when it comes.

Personally, I'd rather be single than to be with a girlfriend I didn't love just so I can say I have a girlfriend and have someone hanging off my arm like some kind of trophy.
 

D_Martin van Burden

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I was talking with a colleague who recently ended his engagement. We were contrasting our styles. He's a serial monogamist and I think he really enjoys being in relationships, whereas I'm much more the casual dater. I don't have a really extensive dating history, just a good number of flings and occasional relationships. The longest I have ever dated was about a year, and most of my relationships usually end between three and six months. Most of the time it's convenient to end because I'm focused on school or work, but if I took that excuse away, it's really because I enjoy being single and independent. I like doing what I want, when I want.

Growing up with a single mom, I learned that it's perfectly okay to be single and that you don't need a relationship in order to be loved. You can get that from friends and family and you can usually get it with much less bullshit attached.

I also realize that living where I do that there's this social pressure to get attached and involved, to make it work, and to engage in long-term relationships up to and including marriage. Hell, did you know marriage is written into human development? That at some point in your life you should have an urge to get married and to have children? (Heteronormativity, indeed.) Well, look, I don't buy that either. Individuals set their own terms for what's normal and acceptable in their lives, so long as you stay happy and that you're not hurting anyone else with what you're doing.

In the meantime, I'm a Ph.D. student who plans on letting this whole shebang eat up about five or six years of his life, and I refuse to be one of those guys who thinks it's so hard to find a good relationship that he resorts to dating in the department. Ugh.
 

HairyTXdude

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I was talking with a colleague who recently ended his engagement. We were contrasting our styles. He's a serial monogamist and I think he really enjoys being in relationships, whereas I'm much more the casual dater. I don't have a really extensive dating history, just a good number of flings and occasional relationships. The longest I have ever dated was about a year, and most of my relationships usually end between three and six months. Most of the time it's convenient to end because I'm focused on school or work, but if I took that excuse away, it's really because I enjoy being single and independent. I like doing what I want, when I want.
I don't enjoy being single ( then again I don't have anything to contrast it with...), I am the only single one in my group of friend and I can't stand being alone!

Growing up with a single mom, I learned that it's perfectly okay to be single and that you don't need a relationship in order to be loved. You can get that from friends and family and you can usually get it with much less bullshit attached.
I too grew up with a single mom and I don't think I've ever seen her truly happy unless she is with a guy. Some think thats why she's such a pain towards me...i dunno...
And my friends are all taken...so there all busy most of the time...
 

D_Bob_Crotchitch

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You can't hurry love, you just have to wait. That's what rubirosa told me. Funny, he was dressed like a Supreme at the time. Oh well, just give it time no matter how long it takes. Love don't come easy.