Are straight guys here reflective of:-

Discussion in 'Et Cetera, Et Cetera' started by B_mitchymo, Aug 13, 2009.

  1. B_mitchymo

    B_mitchymo New Member

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    ...straight guys generally? I mean when i compliment a straight guy here the response is often a thank you but i never compliment a guy in reality because i fear the response (different if i know they're gay/bi), so do you think that the typical response would be a flattered thank you if it was a guy i saw in person?
     
  2. D_Bob_Crotchitch

    D_Bob_Crotchitch New Member

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    Peeps react differently in public. For one thing, they might consider it to be a sexual advance.
     
  3. B_Nick8

    B_Nick8 New Member

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    The straight guys I compliment are extremely appreciative of it. I usually let them know in one way or another that I'm gay because I want them to know where it's coming from and somehow that makes them more appreciative. They're very rarely offended but I guess it has to do with the way it's offered. I let them know I'm not hitting on them even when it's done in kind of a flirtatious way. I don't know any guy who doesn't like to be told that he's hot. Especially when I mean it. :tongue:
     
    #3 B_Nick8, Aug 13, 2009
    Last edited: Aug 13, 2009
  4. TroMag

    TroMag New Member

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    ^^^ This.

    I've posted a few times on Craigslist, looking for women, and received compliments from gay/bi guys. It's flattering, and I even thanked a couple of them. Of course they continued to email me and I ignored them.

    But I have been hit on in public, and I scowled and walked away. I don't want to be hit on by men. If a gay guy makes it clear he is not hitting on me, and offers a compliment, I'm cool with that.
     
  5. CUBE

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    I give compliments to males and females. I don't think they take it as a pick up when it is not offered as such
     
  6. B_ytcorp

    B_ytcorp New Member

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    thats about what I would say IRL anyways
     
  7. vince

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    If he's str8 and you know it don't do it. Why would you want to tell a str8 guy he's hot looking anyway? I mean you have no chance if he is a 100 percenter.

    I guess you would have to be very careful and be in the right circumstance, as Nick8 said.

    edit.. I thught about it more. Str8 guys may say to one another something like "hey your looking good" or "that's a sexy fucking shirt, where'd you get?" or something like that. But it's said in a joking, casual, brotherly way. Some may not like if they know you are gay. Some don't care and would tease you back or just say thanks. I guess it depends on the situation and the person. Some are closed minded an some are open.
     
    #7 vince, Aug 13, 2009
    Last edited: Aug 13, 2009
  8. StrictlyAvg

    StrictlyAvg Member

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    My straight cousin used to DJ a gay nights at a local club. He got hit on quite regularly and always gave out "no ta's" in good humour and never got harassed.
    Guess I'm clearly not on gaydar as I've never been approached, but do have a couple of gay friends and get on reasonably well with "their" crowd if I ever meet them.
     
  9. D_Alma Lovin

    D_Alma Lovin Account Disabled

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    I am straight....I am flattered when guys compliment me...in fact I would trust their opinion over some women. Now because I am straight it doesn't get me going like when a woman compliments me but it is appreciated just the same.
     
  10. B_Stronzo

    B_Stronzo New Member

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    I've found (by-in-large) straight guys here at LPSG are representative of the same orientation in the population. I can read a response and know it's from a heterosexual male without looking at the orientation under his avatar.

    And to directly respond to the OP I'd never say "oh you look really hot" to a guy I knew was straight in a regular social setting.

    Invariably he'd think I was hitting on him.:rolleyes:

    vince illustrates my point to a "t" below in this response:

    See? It's interpreted as a come-on when it's not.
     
    #10 B_Stronzo, Aug 13, 2009
    Last edited: Aug 13, 2009
  11. vince

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    And why don't you quote the rest of what I wrote?
     
  12. B_Stronzo

    B_Stronzo New Member

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    Okay:

    There. Quoted. But it was your initial instinct I found so supportive of my thinking on the topic vince. That's why I quoted only that portion.
     
  13. nudeyorker

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    I compliment men and woman whether they are straight or gay (if they deserve the compliment) I think it's important to use discretion whether it's a business or a social situation and how well you know them. I particularly like black tie occasions because you can say to almost any man "You are looking very dashing and debonair this evening!" or to almost any woman "You have never looked lovelier you are just glowing!" I don't think either holds any sexual undertones it's just part of the art of knowing how to flirt and be charming without offering false flattery in hopes of getting laid.
     
  14. B_Stronzo

    B_Stronzo New Member

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    I completely agree with you ny in the ideal.
     
  15. voyeuristic

    voyeuristic New Member

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    Fuck, I hope not. Otherwise, those of us who aren't rail-thin with DD cups and bald twats are totally out of luck.
     
  16. nudeyorker

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    But there is no ideal except in 50's and 60's sitcoms. It's a simple matter of using some common sense. I am a semi regular customer at a sports bar that is largely straight people. (But I really don't think in terms of gay and straight...I think about the quality of the person rather than what they do in private and my friends are like minded) I am comfortable there and the straight men know that I'm not there to hit on them and I can say things to them like "Hey you look great today you must have got laid last night?" and it's all in fun because they know and I know I'm not hitting on them or I can say to their wives or girlfriends "Wow look at you...Did you spend the day at a spa? You look great!" It's pleasant social intercourse. But I know these people. I don't think I would be inclined to say either to a stranger but if I was meeting someone for the first time I might say "Wow you look great...what gym do you go to?" I've never had anyone take offense to that. It's a simple matter of who you are talking to and what setting you are in.
     
  17. D_Andreas Sukov

    D_Andreas Sukov Account Disabled

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    what guys do you talk to? even when i see girls here i dont think are that hot theres like a hundred girls squirting over their keyboards.
     
  18. Meniscus

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    I wonder if it's a generational thing. I think most of the straight guys I grew up with and went to college with would be threatened by a compliment from a gay man. Their reaction wouldn't be "thanks" but "I'm not gay!" and would try to distance themselves from the remark and the person who made it (sometimes using harsh actions or words) in order to preserve their masculine, hetero image. These are the guys who will justify their homophobia with complaints that gay guys are "always" hitting on them (in some cases, I'm quite sure that it was just their fantasy). Then there are the guys who try to make themselves out to be less homophobic than they actually are by saying such stupid things as, "I don't care if you're gay as long as you don't hit on me." These are the guys who then go on to perceive eye contact, a smile, the slightest physical contact (or even a certain degree of physical proximity) as you hitting on them.

    Sometimes I've had to take these guys down a notch. When one complains about how uncomfortable he was at such-and-such event because some guy was hitting on him "all night long" I'll say something like:
    • Oh, honey, he probably wasn't really hitting on you, he was just trying to make you feel better about yourself.
    • Really? How much did he have to drink?
    • Wow, you must have been dressed better than usual that night.
    • That must've been a while ago, when you had more hair.
    I don't think these guys were actually bothered by another guy finding them attractive. In fact, I think their natural instinct would be to be flattered, but they were so programmed by the culture to believe that it was wrong, that it was the worst thing a guy could be, that they didn't want to be associated with it in any way, as if it could rub off on them.

    Hence, my theory that it might be generational. Now that the stigma against being gay isn't what it was back in the 80s, and gay people are seen more frequently in the media (I think MTV and The Real World may have played a big part in this) and are often depicted as having admirable qualities, guys know at a young age that some other guys are gay, and that gay is OK. There's no fear, no anxiety, not prejudice, and a compliment is just a compliment. In fact, it's more than a regular old compliment, it's a compliment from someone with impeccable taste, who knows what he's talking about.
     
  19. nudeyorker

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    Meniscus I see your point and understand what you are saying. However I was thinking about something since my last post. I think a bit of this depends on geography. I think someone in Topeka Kansas might react somewhat differently than someone in NYC. I tend to forget that I have not had a great deal of contact with people other than in NYC, LA, Hawaii and Chicago. I'm sure that in certain parts of the world a blonde jewish homo lawyer might not be as welcome as I have been afforded in my travels.
    PS if there is anyone here from Topeka, please don't be offended, I picked it merely because I think of it as being in the middle of the country.
     
  20. D_Portelay Porquesword

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    I often say to str8 men that they look: fit, well or handsome. Depending on the situation I mostly use "You're looking well" even if I find them attractive or hot.

    It just leads to uncomfortable feelings and unless you are Miss Cleo, you have no way of knowing the outcome in any given situation so it is best (for me) to just be complimentary.
     
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