Are there any items a woman's sexual past that would stop you from sleeping with her?

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by 3664shaken, Nov 23, 2009.

  1. 3664shaken

    3664shaken New Member

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    A question for the straight guys.

    Assume you meet a very attractive woman who is 30, you start dating and before you have sex she tells you about her past, are there any items from her sexual past that would stop you from sleeping with her?

    For example:

    To many sexual partners if sow how many?
    Sexual acts she has done in the past, orgies, gang-bangs, etc?
    Age when she lost her virginity?
    Porn actress in past?
    Curable STD’s that she had in the past?
    She was a escort or prostitute in the past?
    She worked as stripper in the past?
     
     
     
     
  2. cheezsteak

    cheezsteak Member

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    for the most part a woman's past is her past. unless its something a little too weird for my taste like bukakke (not sure how its spelled), no urine, feces, vomit or blood (except for the occasional sex during menustration) or anything involving animals. also no celibate women or born again virgins, thats pretty creepy to me too.
     
  3. Catchoftheday

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  4. catman

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    Not sure if I could handle a mtf (ie she used to me a male)
     
  5. Ramsey

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    It depends. All of those factors I am totally willing to forgive, based on one thing. Does she enjoy me and hold me as her love that she wants to be with? Or does she do the "comparison" thing and constantly think or tell me that I don't measure up? If she does that, she's done.
    If she does not do that however, and she really loves me and wants to be with me, then I can totally forget all that stuff. I dated a girl who had 50-60 sexual partners, and even sold herself to a guy who used her for sex occasionally, and had a couple other guys who used her for a "fuck buddy" but she wanted a deeper relationship with the guy.

    So it's all based on attitude.
    My last ex lied to me about her past, and when I caught her with inconsistent stories and knowing she was lying to me about stuff, I got insecure and got performance anxiety, and my feelings for her took a major hit.
     
    #5 Ramsey, Nov 23, 2009
    Last edited: Nov 23, 2009
  6. blaquehorse

    blaquehorse New Member

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    A woman's sexual history has always been a turn-on for me. It really gets me going.
    Having said that, the only thing i might have issues with could be an incurable disease or beastiality. Other than that, bring it on.
    There are other issues that could stop me from having a steady relationship with her but, you only asked about "sleeping with her" so, we'll stop here for now.
     
  7. _avg_

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    A good question, and I think the answer kind of depends on the stipulation you add that we're dating -- some of the examples you give would raise questions about my potential partner's character which might be a problem if were dating [ie long-term potential], vs. a hook-up or an 'FWB' situation.

    Also, I'd probably be too turned off if her last sexual encounter was too recent, like within 2-3 days...or shit, who am I kidding, months even is too recent I feel, but I'm just warped I think..

    [edit -- oh yeah, also if she cheated and especially if it was more than once]
     
    #7 _avg_, Nov 23, 2009
    Last edited: Nov 23, 2009
  8. MrGoodDate

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    There is no such thing as past. What any of us have done lives somewhere in our mind. If wierd things were done or hurtful things or dangerous things.... they live on in the mind. It is not what they (we) have done but what strange things are lurking in the mind. Strangely , some people live through aweful things and are well balanced and wonderful people.
    Sex with a wonderful person is wonderful.
     
  9. NotQuite_9x7

    NotQuite_9x7 New Member

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    To commit to someone their has to be a level of respect. If a women has done something that I can't respect or has displayed very little respect for herself, it would be a problem for me. It's not set in stone, a person could change and regret what they've done, but I could work to get past.

    The thing that's probably the toughest for me to get over isn't a wild sexually history, it's sleeping with someone I know.. especially if I don't respect that person.
     
  10. D_Maurice Mountlilly

    D_Maurice Mountlilly Account Disabled

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    i've dated women who've met everything on the list except porn star.
    i've had many sexual partners in my past as well,along with curable std's(i've talked about that in another post)
    but i doesn't bother me at all.i like it if a woman has experienced life in the ways of love and relationships.she's more aware of what she wants/likes in bed. now that i think of it i perfer it if she's had alot of partners.
    the stripping...i've dated a few of them as well,and for the most part it's just a job.they were either paying for tuition,providing for the kids they have,or some of them just found it fun.
    the only thing that would set off a red flag would be if she was an escort.and only if she was still doing it while we were a couple,(i can't share my woman with no mutha fuckin' body..fuck that shit!!)but if it was a casual sex type thing it wouldn't bother me.
    like i've said before,who the hell am i to judge,when i've slept around alot.
    almost everybody has a past.....
     
  11. Drifterwood

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    Was she ever known as Mrs. Bobbit?
     
  12. Principessa

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    Most men will frown on at least two of those. Hence my belief that you need to take some things to your grave. It's not lying if you just don't mention it. :biggrin1:

     
  13. tiggerpoo

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    I've dated nearly every kind of women mentioned. But, I've have quite a history myself, probably enough to match anyone. No, I'd take her as she is now. History doesn't matter.
     
  14. B_Hung Jon

    B_Hung Jon New Member

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    I'm thinking that I haven't lived long enough yet to ever meet such a woman. Most of the girls I know think of being in porno as texting their boyfriends some pics of their tits. And as far as stripping, some girls when they get wasted at parties strut their stuff but it's pretty mild. I certainly wouldn't mind meeting a woman with any or all of the above experiences. Where are they?!!!! :cool:
     
  15. BanShen

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    Well I'd pass on a 30 year old woman with any of those merely because she's 30. :tongue:

    But really, pretty much all of those would be red flags to me. The only exception is the age virginity was lost and possibly having once had a curable STD. But the rest to me say that this woman has no self-respect and is to be avoided.

    The one I should clarify is the number of guys she's slept with. Obviously this will vary by age, but I would say that it should be roughly proportional to the number of real, serious relationships she's had. So a 20 year old girl would likely have 2 or 3- that seems pretty reasonable. Obviously it's not a total 1:1 ratio I'm expecting (people screw up), but the point is, if some 30 year old woman approaches me and says she's had sex with 50 guys, then she doesn't take her own body seriously and there's simply no way I could respect that. I'd just choose not to sleep with her.

    To be clear: while I recognize that I'm a pretty conservative guy, I'm not one of those, "My girlfriend must be a virgin...but I should be able to have sex with her!" kind of guys. I dated a girl for almost my entire 4 years of college and we never had sex since she was afraid of getting pregnant (she was very anti-abortion). That's perfectly fine with me if the girl's serious about staying a virgin until marriage or whatever.
     
  16. Viking_UK

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    I know I identify as gay these days, but back in the days when I did have sex with women, I wouldn't have ruled a woman (or a guy) out for any of the above. I would probably draw the line at stuff like bestiality and a liking for wet and messy. One thing I might be concerned about is a serial divorcee, but I wouldn't rule someone out based on that alone.

    I'm a great believer in "what's sauce for the goose", and I don't think any guy who's got a past has a leg to stand on if he wants criticise any woman for having one too - unless he's jealous that she's had a better time.:biggrin1:
     
  17. hud01

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    If she has slept with a lot of guys and she stays with me, to me that means I am good, or at least good enough. So that is a positive.
    I have stated in the past I love multiple partner sex. Would make me hot and I would hope that she would do the same with me.
    Couldn't care in the least
    Again she has had sex with pros, but I am good enough. It might be tough because there is a record out there that could be brought up, but I don't see a problem.
    This is ehh. I might be uncomfortable with this, but I don't see it as a deal breaker.
    Hope she saved up her money. If it was local, might worry about meeting her clients, but that is it.
    I have dated strippers and there is one right now that I want to date and the last night I was in her town I told her I wanted to take her to dinner the next time I was there. What a hard kicking body. When a girl dances all night and works a pole, they are so in shape if they are good.


    Edit: I think the only possible stopper might be a criminal record, especially one for violent crime. I might not sleep as well next to someone who stabbed somebody.
     
    #17 hud01, Nov 24, 2009
    Last edited: Nov 24, 2009
  18. siempie

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    I will have problems with every subject you mentioned. I have those same problems now. My GF is my first sexual partner. But i'm not her first.

    Try to live with it, although once I found out my feelings for her did take a huge hit.
     
  19. NotQuite_9x7

    NotQuite_9x7 New Member

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    I really think it boils down to how you view sex. If sex is just a means of pleasure, then a person can be casual about it and a persons sexual history really doesn't matter. It sex is something deeper, then who you share yourself with and how often you share yourself, matter.

    And like I said before, no one is perfect and everyone has done things that they regret. I think I can get pass most mistakes, but not all. I would need to know that the person learned from these mistakes and still believes sex is an act that should be shared with someone that is worthy.
     
  20. hud01

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    Why would your feelings take a hit? I don't get it. I have slept with virigns and girls that don't have a virgin body part and I much prefer the later.

    On first look it seems like it is more embarrassment on your part that you couldn't score, but she could.
     
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