Did a fucking 12 year old write this list? It sounds like something from a teen magazine. I will answer with my own thoughts
1. Touch her waist
Not if your hands are cold
2. Actually talk to her
How do you not actually talk to someone?
3. Share secrets with her
Like what? What kinds of things do men call secrets?
4. Give her of your sweatshirts
Not the one with the pit stains
5. Kiss her slowly Are you remembering this?
What if he kisses too slowly?
6. Hug her
Hugs are good
7. Hold her
The person who wrote this has some fear of someone not touching them all the time obviously.
8. Laugh with her
To the emotional basketcase who wrote these questions: I'm not laughing with you, i'm laughing at you.
9. Invite her somewhere
Like where? How about in the bathroom when you are pinching loaves.
10. Hangout with her and your friends together
Please don't torture your friends by subjecting them to this woman. She just wants to publicly immasculate you. If you are lucky, you may not get in a fight with her in front of your friends, so they can call you a pussy later.
11. Smile with her
Is she picking serial killers? Maybe she should be.
12. Take pictures with her
Mmmm, ok. Maybe he's not really there and that's why he's not showing up in the pictures.
13. Pull her onto your lap
Not if she has a boney ass.
14. When she says she loves you more, deny it. Fight back
Yes, keep denying it so the bitch will never stop arguing. Good idea. You just might actually start to piss her off in the "no i love you more" argument and please make sure this isnt in front of your friends.
15. When her friends say i love her more than you, deny it
Why are you argung with *her* friends about who loves her more? She obviously hangs out with her own petty argumentitive friends. What if you don't love her more than her friends? Lie about it anyway? Even better, after you've lied about how much you actually don't love her, buy her an engagement ring. So she can be a BRIDEZILLA.
16. Are you thinking of someone?
No.
17. Always hug her and say hi whenever you see her
What kind of guy runs in to his girlfriend and doesn't say hi?
18. Kiss her unexpectedly
You can't catch someone unexpectedly when they are always expecting it, like the gal who wrote this.
19. Hug her from behind around the waist
Especially if she's choking on food.
20. Tell her shes beautiful
So she can say "No im not! You are lying to me!"
21. Tell her the way you feel about her
I would LOVE to tell this woman how i feel about her.
22. Open doors for her, walk her to her car- it makes her feel protected, plus it never hurts to act like a gentleman
Nothing wrong with this one. Even a stopped clock is right twice a day.
23. Tell her shes your everything ONLY if you mean it
And even if you don't
24. If it seems like there is something wrong, ask her- if she denies something being wrong, it means SHE DOESNT WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT- so dont keep on asking her just hug her
Don't ask her if you know something is wrong, she wants you to keep asking her. If she feels compelled to share her passive aggressive behavior, she can share what the fuck is wrong or go somewhere else with that cabinet slamming, huffy puffy garbage.
25. Make her feel loved
If she isn't feeling loved by now...
26. Kiss her in front of OTHER girls you know
She probably thinks every woman you are around in your life is secretly wanting to fuck you. This should make them all jealous and that will make her feel better.
27. WE MIGHT DENY IT BUT WE ACTUALLY LIKE IT AND KINDA WANT YOU TO TICKLE US
If you like it, why are you denying it? If someone said they didn't like to be tickled, what kind of reverse psychology is that if you really want to be tickled? Ugh.
28. DONT lie to her! DONT cheat on her
DUH!!
29. take her ANYWHERE she wants
Even if you don't have the money, take her anywhere she wants. Now when you don't have bill money later, try to cover that up as much as possible because she doesn't want to hear about your money problems.
30. Text messege or call her in the morning and tell her have a good day at work {or school}, and how much you MISS her
Yes, because everything you did yesterday, such as kissing her in front of all your friends and females everywhere you went, touching her, pulling her onto your lap, hugging her, kissing her slowly.....none of that meant anything to show her you cared.
31. Be there for her whenever she needs you, & even when she doesnt need you, just be there so shell know that she can ALWAYS count on you. ARE YOU STILL READING THIS? YOU BETTER BECAUSE, ITS IMPORTANT
Ok, be there when she needs you? That's 100% of the time isnt it? How the hell are you supposed to take a shit? Oh yeah, invite her somewhere.
32. Hold her close when shes cold so she can hold YOU too
Yeah, tell her when you are cold so the gal who is only thinking about herself 100% of the time can sit there with her arms pulled inside your sweatshirt you gave her.
33. When you are ALONE hold her close and kiss her
Ok so when you are alone, hold her and kiss her, when you aren't alone, hold her and kiss her.
34. Kiss her on the CHEEK; (it will give her the hint that you want to kiss her)
Sorry, this makes no sense. Just because someone kisses you on the cheek it doesnt mean they are going to suck your face off next. Doesn't mean that they want to or about to do anything.
35. While in the movies, put your arm around her and then she will automatically put her head on your shoulder, then lean in and tilt her chin up and kiss her LIGHTLY
No, because she's going to say "Ouch you're on my hair!" and get pissed off.
36. Don't EVER tell her to leave even jokingly or act like youre mad. If shes upset, comfort her.
I thought we were supposed to laugh together? Now no jokes. Fuck!
37. When she leaves, pull her back. REMEMBER ALL THESE THINGS WHEN YOU ARE WITH HER NEXT
Yes, don't let the obsessed, insecure, insane, bitch leave. You are supposed to be with her when you want to be and even when you don't want to be. And remember everything, and the next 23 rules we are about to throw at you.
38. When people DISS her, stand up for her
Yes, this is when you tell your guy friends "No it's not like that all the time" when they tell you how much they are concerned about the psycho you are dating.
39. Look deep into her EYES and tell her you love her
Yes, even if you don't. Just say it. That's all that matters.
40. Lay down under the STARS and put her head on your chest so you can cuddle (i think this one is most romantic tip J
And pray that a bird drops a huge one on her sweatshirt you gave her. So you can laugh together.
41. When walking next to each other lightly touch her HAND and softly grab it
Do this even if you are holding her purse and all the bags full of clothes she insisted you watch her try on.
42. When you hug her HOLD her in your arms as LONG as possibleMAKE SURE SHE KNOWS SHES LOVED
Right before you drop her off at her therapist's office.
43. Call or text her EVERY night to wish her sweet dreams
Just copy and paste whatever it is you say to her when you text her in the morning to remind her.
44. Take her for LONG walks at night
Make sure she doesn't forget your leash.
45. ALWAYS remind her how much you love her
Once again, whatever you are texting her will work.....
46. COMFORT her when she cries and wipe away her tears
Daily.
47. Rub her backfeels good
LOL i read this as "Rub her cock, feels good"
48. Give her your coat if shes cold
I'll let this one slide.
49. Write letters on her back with your finger
WTF?!
50. Let her sit on your lap
Wasn't she already there when you pulled her onto your lap earlier?
51. DONT poke her hard
but if you want to mess around just do it lightly
Yeah don't leave bruises, her friends might think you are beating her.
52. HOLD her HAND in PUBLIC
It's hard to do when you are being walked on your leash on all fours.
53. Even if she looks BAD one day tell her shes BEAUTIFUL
I don't even know how to respond to that one.
54. Keep conversations flowing
talk about anything usually they just go along with it
Be sure to ask her about her cramps & menstrual clots. Those types really like that sort of caring.
55. If their hair is in their face move it out of her face and then kiss her passionately and gently
Passionately or gently? Take your damn pick. You can't have both.
56. Surprisingly sneek up on her and hug her from behindloves it
So she can say you scared her and then start crying where you have to hold her again.
57. Kiss her in the rain.(this one is my favourite
somebody listening??
No, I'm not.
58. Pick her up like in The Notebook and kiss her
Unless she's really heavy.
59. Slow dance with no music
And be sure to let her put her feet on your feet like a child does with her Daddy, because you are her Daddy now bitch.
60. Dont ignore her or be nervous around hereverythings going to be okay
Yeah, be totally not nervous around an insane, paranoid, obsessed psycho bitch. Yeah.
I will add #61 to the list.
GET THE FUCK OUT of that relationship before you lose every semblance of your manhood, before she has you scrubbing the toilet with a brush attached to your leather facemask as foreplay. This is after she's cut your balls off, fried them in bacon grease and fed them to your young.
Now I'm going to go back to watching Fight Club, because it took me an hour to reply.