Are these really things all women want?

[B_subgirrl]

A good friend of mine and ex-roommate has parents that run a rescue farm. I visited for a time in recent past. Now these are critters that have been abused, neglected, etc. Cats, Dogs, Horses, there is nothing that they do not have in this menagerie. (Well, no Llamas) Their worst problem pets and horses were literally eating out of my hands and following me around the place within a day or two. Even a poorly treated parrot that would sooner eat a bite out of you than even speak to you would go out of her way to climb up my pants and shirt to perch on my shoulder and do that funny nibble-head butting thing they do to preen one another to my ears and glasses. At least, I think they know I am no enemy. *laugh*

Why aren't there more of you DD? You sound like my perfect man . Definitely what this woman wants :smile:.

Reminds me of a comedic routine back in the 80's. Fellow described what must go on in a spider's mind when they are caught on a tile wall in the bathroom at night when the lights are first flicked on.

"8 black, hairy legs. A body the size of a golf ball - laying here on white tile. This should be easy. *smug look* *Looks behind himself* "Oh this is even better, that stupid human thinks he can read that newspaper all rolled up tight like tha........." :biggrin1:

This made me giggle :tongue:

 

[double_digit]

Why aren't there more of you DD? You sound like my perfect man . Definitely what this woman wants :smile:.

That is because if we were that common - then we would no longer be uncommon. Make sense? Clear as mud? Excellent - we'll get along fine.

This made me giggle :tongue:

You know what gets me ticked beyond belief? You're Australian, so I KNOW you know "The Umbilical Brothers". That stuff right there make my face crack from too much smiling. :>

 

[B_subgirrl]

That is because if we were that common - then we would no longer be uncommon. Make sense? Clear as mud? Excellent - we'll get along fine.

But I want one *pouts*

You know what gets me ticked beyond belief? You're Australian, so I KNOW you know "The Umbilical Brothers". That stuff right there make my face crack from too much smiling. :>

Actually, I do! My brother is a big fan and is always playing their stuff. I SUPPOSEDLY don't like comedy, but their songs get in my head and have me giggling all day. Another of my brother's favourite comedy groups that I've come to share is Tripod.

 

[double_digit]

But I want one *pouts*

Then I will make you a deal - until you can find you local sweetheart to love on and share sweet, whispered inconsequential things with one another... I'll loan you me on the internet...free of charge. Act now, operators are standing by! I am about as far away as one can get from you without actually accidentally taking a step and getting closer once again.

Actually, I do! My brother is a big fan and is always playing their stuff. I SUPPOSEDLY don't like comedy, but their songs get in my head and have me giggling all day. Another of my brother's favourite comedy groups that I've come to share is Tripod.

I heard of Tripod, but I have not yet seen/heard or priated...er....*flips off and tosses eye patch away* acquired any of their materials. I will have to give it a go and solve the mystery for myself. As for "The Brothers", the skit called "Roadie" just about made me stop breathing from side splitting laughter.

 

[B_subgirrl]

Then I will make you a deal - until you can find you local sweetheart to love on and share sweet, whispered inconsequential things with one another... I'll loan you me on the internet...free of charge. Act now, operators are standing by! I am about as far away as one can get from you without actually accidentally taking a step and getting closer once again.

You mean I can have a fox of my very own *hopeful look*. The distance is rather useful isn't it? I'd never flirt this much with someone local because they always seem to want to hook up. At least with distance flirting they aren't going to turn up on your doorstep any time soon. And if you do meet each other, it's only going to be after you've gotten to know each other well. After all, no ones going to fly halfway across the world for random sex.

I heard of Tripod, but I have not yet seen/heard or priated...er....*flips off and tosses eye patch away* acquired any of their materials. I will have to give it a go and solve the mystery for myself. As for "The Brothers", the skit called "Roadie" just about made me stop breathing from side splitting laughter.

Haven't seen Roadie. Will check it out. Watch some Tripod.

 

[double_digit]

You mean I can have a fox of my very own *hopeful look*. The distance is rather useful isn't it? I'd never flirt this much with someone local because they always seem to want to hook up. At least with distance flirting they aren't going to turn up on your doorstep any time soon. And if you do meet each other, it's only going to be after you've gotten to know each other well. After all, no ones going to fly halfway across the world for random sex.

The time, expense... finding myself in a far from accustomed locale? I..KNOW I do not have a Garmin GPS map for Australia. And me, speaking American English will likely be about as polite as a walk up, a hand shake and then a hearty poke in the eye. Though I do hear that the locals take much more kindly to you if you offer beer and a slap to the side of the head with random piece of furnishing. Well, an Aussie pal of mine that's likely a bloody skinhead told me that... roughshod, boot lugging, spiked mohawk pillock that he is. Oh, and if you're wondering, that is how I say hello to him on the internet. ;D

Even if we were face to face, in a cozy, relaxed room? You have to understand my inherent shyness and sense of vulnerability. I flirt, tease - but nose to nose? A blushing, soft hearted beast. And knowing a flirt when it flies - receptive, playful - reciprocating. Not one to act on it impulsively.

That is not to say that I am devoid of passions or nothing, merely rather a slow burn, fun sort.

Haven't seen Roadie. Will check it out. Watch some Tripod.

Roger, Wilco, out! Actually (and this is not a spoiler) what got my crank turning over it is the penis joke it gets into. And the WILLINGNESS of the audience to go with them into it! ;D

 

[B_subgirrl]

The time, expense... finding myself in a far from accustomed locale? I..KNOW I do not have a Garmin GPS map for Australia. And me, speaking American English will likely be about as polite as a walk up, a hand shake and then a hearty poke in the eye.

Maybe if we're still talking in three or four years it will be worth the expense :tongue:

Though I do hear that the locals take much more kindly to you if you offer beer and a slap to the side of the head with random piece of furnishing.

Beer is definitely a good thing to offer. Please no American beer though - I've heard bad things about American beer :wink:

Well, an Aussie pal of mine that's likely a bloody skinhead told me that... roughshod, boot lugging, spiked mohawk pillock that he is. Oh, and if you're wondering, that is how I say hello to him on the internet. ;D

Oooh, there's something very sexy about skinheads. I think it's the roughshod, bootlugging bit.

Even if we were face to face, in a cozy, relaxed room? You have to
understand my inherent shyness and sense of vulnerability. I flirt, tease - but nose to nose? A blushing, soft hearted beast. And knowing a flirt when it flies - receptive, playful - reciprocating. Not one to act on it impulsively.

That is not to say that I am devoid of passions or nothing, merely rather a slow burn, fun sort.

I'd soon cure you :biggrin1:. Lucky, you aren't one to act impulsively though. I'd get a bit of a shock if a fox showed up on my doorstep tomorrow :smile:

Roger, Wilco, out! Actually (and this is not a spoiler) what got my crank turning over it is the penis joke it gets into. And the WILLINGNESS of the audience to go with them into it! ;D

Aussie audiences are surprisingly open with that sort of thing.
More suggestions from my brother (was talking to him about your post):

Doug Anthony All Stars
Ugly Baby - Stephen Lynch (this is one of my favourite comedy songs)

 

[double_digit]

Maybe if we're still talking in three or four years it will be worth the expense :tongue:

In human timescales? That's no a whole lotta time. ;D Better get cracking on finding that job, eh?

Beer is definitely a good thing to offer. Please no American beer though - I've heard bad things about American beer :wink:

As patriotically and proud minded of my country of origin? I am of the mindset that we still cannot get EVERYTHING right. Beer is one of those things we somehow forgotten to make properly too. That is not to say that there are some micro brews made locally, and a handful of nationalized brands that are just not brilliant in of themselves - but the average beer you get when asking for "just a beer" I would not irrigate septic tanks with. My tastes tend to lean more towards German, Warsetiner Dunkel - that's my swill of choice - other dark brews, stuff so yeasty it has to be chewed OUT of the bottle. Oh, and real beer DOES NOT come in cans, or bottles with "twist caps". Sorry - I stepped on a lot of toes there with that one, but that's my opinion. ;D

Oooh, there's something very sexy about skinheads. I think it's the roughshod, bootlugging bit.

God forbid then you spot your first "Redneck". ;D Easily identified by sunburned skin and face - premature wrinkles from work outdoors day and night - perpetual layer of filmy grime on everything they own and touch. (They are just marking territory when they shake hands you know. ;>) Let's see - some industrial Agricultural equipment manufacturer's logo on hat, truck sticker or double-wide belt buckle. Oh and the shitkicker's they wear. Look like shit, smell like shit - they've BEEN in shit to their knees and the boots look it. ;D Quite pleasant folk too when you get to know one. Alas, certain phrases must be avoided.

"Did you hear the BBC report on Iranian women persecution on National Public Radio this morning?"

That's too intelligent, and outside of the scope of learning since they all speak FOX News-ese. You'll get punched if you're lucky, dead stone cold shot if you're not. Life in the South US is graaaand. ;D (Now hides to avoid the ban hammer, if this does not get him nailed, nothing will)

I'd soon cure you :biggrin1:. Lucky, you aren't one to act impulsively though. I'd get a bit of a shock if a fox showed up on my doorstep tomorrow :smile:

Now, now - do not go fixing what is not BROKEN. That is a fail-safe placed there on purpose you see. Tweak and fiddle too deeply on a fine tuned and emotionally balanced thing and they get all psycho-crazy El Super Beasto sex-demon on you and then nobody's happy and all of the neighbors are impregnated. ;D And it will be ALL YOUR FAULT!! Though if you ask nicely, I might let you see what happens when you press the right buttons. ;D Purely for...scientific reasons of course! *clears throat*

No worries there - even if you were my next door neighbor I simply just...do not behave like that. EVER. I know what it is like to have someone unwanted literally show up the next day at your doorstep. And....being there when you turn around after closing your car door in a parking lot at a mall 25 miles away. Aaaaaannnd - forget it. It's unpleasant. I did not like it, and I would not visit that sort of bothersome behavior on another.

Aussie audiences are surprisingly open with that sort of thing.

American audiences are too uptight and for all the wrong reasons. Sex - verboten. Yet if it bleeds, curses, screams, displays tragically ill mannered and wantonly destructive behavior, it's on the 5:00 PM news.

When has a slipped nipple or a profiled but concealed weenie HURT ANYTHING?! Yet what's pushed to the masses here? The violence, the murder, the drugs, the rampant, psychotic behavior of corporations. And they wonder why kids are so fucked up these days. It's not the video game, I can tell you that much. ;D Meh, I am depressing myself.. but that's it in a nutshell and what life amongst the simpler folk you meet can be like down where I am at. *That is why stay in - build gas turbines... *

More suggestions from my brother (was talking to him about your post):

Doug Anthony All Stars
Ugly Baby - Stephen Lynch (this is one of my favourite comedy songs)

Got it, my pirate's chest is not yet full of the bounteous booty you have suggested but - I'll be leading a raid before the weekend. My little brother and I and his friends have little challenges about whom can download the neatest, earliest release of stuff on the internet. We drag laptops, thumbdrives, whathaveyou to one spot, plug it all together and.. well, nerd bond. Thanks for the suggestions!

 

[B_subgirrl]

Continued in PM.

 

[DasLeezard]

61: Tackle them all in one fell swoop: stalk her.

 

[double_digit]

61: Tackle them all in one fell swoop: stalk her.

Though I think everyone, regardless of gender likes to be admired - stalking? It would have to be someone that perhaps enjoys a side of persecution complex too. Stalking's no fun.