Are women afraid of a handsome man?

Discussion in 'Underwear, Clothing, and Appearance Issues' started by Uncutsouthernboy, Nov 23, 2010.

  1. Uncutsouthernboy

    Uncutsouthernboy Well-Known Member

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    My brother is extremely handsome. He looks like he fell out of a magazine. He finds it impossible to get a date. He has everything going for him otherwise.

    I have heard very beautiful women had difficulty in getting dates as men are too scared or awed by them to feel they have a chance with them. Is it the same for you? Do women not want a man many would consider "prettier" than themselves?
     
  2. B_subgirrl

    B_subgirrl New Member

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    Didn't you already post this elsewhere? Once is enough you know.
     
  3. petite

    petite New Member

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    I don't understand. Is he asking women out and they're turning him down?

    In my experience, women throw themselves at handsome men. A lot.

    I've never been intimidated by handsome men, and I believe I've dated a few. I always had the problem of having female friends throw themselves at them. One friend once drove over to my boyfriend's house and when he answered the door, she went to his bedroom and just started taking off her clothes. I had one roommate who would put on her most cleavage revealing shirt and flirt with him with her back as swayed as possible whenever I was still getting ready and he arrived early to pick me up. Another roommate actually took off every single stitch of clothing she was wearing while he was driving and she was sitting in the passenger seat, right in the middle of the afternoon, when he very nicely gave her a ride someplace because she asked him. And that was just one boyfriend.

    I consider TheBF to be handsome, and I believe some women agree with me. Before I began dating TheBF, practically every female friend I have who was single at the time threw herself at him. I've got lots of stories. This is a brand new one I just learned about... I just found out a few weeks ago that one of my friends jokingly offered to sit under TheBF's desk and give him blowjobs whenever he wanted one before we began dating. :rolleyes:

    He's got to be doing something wrong if he has no luck with women.
     
    #3 petite, Nov 23, 2010
    Last edited: Nov 23, 2010
  4. Enid

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    gots no prob dating pretty boys/very good-looking guys, they don't intimidate me

    i don't really compare my looks to men either, as in judging a guy to be prettier or not as pretty as me
     
    #4 Enid, Nov 23, 2010
    Last edited: Nov 23, 2010
  5. HiddenLacey

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    Hmmm, honestly it's very rare for me to find someone that I believe is extremely handsome. I don't really care for handsome pretty as much as the rugged guy look. It's more pleasing to me.

    I've never met a man who was handsome enough to intimidate me. Most of the time I'm just not interested. There is always something more than the way he looks that makes me interested.
     
    #5 HiddenLacey, Nov 23, 2010
    Last edited by a moderator: Nov 23, 2010
  6. ConstantComment

    ConstantComment New Member

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    If he's still in his 20s or 30s, it seems that shouldn't be a problem. There are still a lot of women who approach men and try to get something started.

    I think once women reach their 40s, they realise that looks are less important and that other things are more important. For one, since I know that men like what they like, it's practically useless to approach a guy first. If he's interested, he'll make a move. HE treats me is way more important than his looks. And I also don't prefer conventional good looks anymore. A man can improve his looks through his behavior.

    What exactly is your brother doing or possible not doing to get this expected attention he believe he is entitled to?
     
  7. petite

    petite New Member

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    This seems really healthy to me. I wish I was that secure.

    I feel like I've dated men who were prettier than me, or that I strongly suspected were prettier than me and that other people thought so, too.

    I thought my first love was just gorgeous, the one that inspired two women to get naked as part of their seduction strategies, and even though we were together for 5 years, I have to be honest, I never really felt like I was pretty enough to be with him. It really didn't matter. We were in love with one another. There was still this nagging feeling that I had that people wondered why he was with me. I always suspected that he could easily find a much more beautiful woman than me and that was one of the reasons why so many beautiful women threw themselves at him. Like those other women looked at me and thought, "I'm much prettier than her! This should be easy!"
     
    #7 petite, Nov 23, 2010
    Last edited: Nov 23, 2010
  8. D_Rosalind Mussell

    D_Rosalind Mussell New Member

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    No. Strangely enough, men were intimidated by me when I was dating because of how straightforward I was. Go figure...
     
  9. DasLeezard

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    They don't intimidate me. I just know I don't have a chance. Big difference.
     
  10. B_curiousme01

    B_curiousme01 New Member

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    I think there is a huge difference between being good looking and extremely beautiful. So, yes, I do think some people would not approach him because they might feel like they are totally out of his league simply because of how he looks. And it probably frustrates your brother because there is not much he can do about it. I would also go so far as to say that he has most likely felt much jealousy from others all his life, so he is weary.

    Extreme "beauty" is not all it's cracked up to be.
     
  11. B_crackoff

    B_crackoff New Member

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    Speaking from personal experience, when I was 17-18 & leaving school, it got a bit weird because a lot of girls just used to stare at me, which was very disconcerting, & made me pretty self conscious at the time.

    It continued through the summer with many foreign Scandanvian & Italian foreign language students - which was great, but to be suddenly complimented like a king after years of practically nothing at all made my personality withdraw in front of women I didn't know. I even ran a club at nights a few years later, felt pretty lonely doing it, & was completely unaware that most of my staff really fancied me until a recent reunion 10 years later.

    The point of this is that your brother like I was, is probably a little unconfident that his personality will match the expectation others will have of him - based purely on his looks.

    He's probably got into the rut of women looking at him, & as far as they are concerned giving him signs, which if he doesn't react to, turn them off pretty quickly - & only going with girls who make their intention bluntly clear - & you girls are very blunt at times - ouch! A lot of women also think that you must be full of yourself & up your own ass.

    His friends might also tell every girl that he's gay! It's staggering how competitive or insecure even your best friends can be!

    I'll freely admit that there is some arrogance that comes with it, but then again I used to get physically attacked by groups of other guys so it works both ways (I definitely have learned not to dress to impress in most places now!)

    He just needs to be himself as he is with people he knows, forget about what he looks like, because it's hardly the basis for a good relationship, flirt with women, & ask out those he likes. Warren Beatty got rejected far more than he got laid, but he kept on plugging away regardless.

    Guys who haven't got the looks work harder with their patter - & work on a lot more women at the same time - give him a slap, tell him not to be a wallflower, tell him it's a game, get him to be your wingman, whatever - just get him his confidence.

    Petite - how could you live with such friends?! Was it just competition on their part? I only had that happen so overtly twice - both times going to the bathroom, & a flatmate walking in, or being by the door stark naked saying, "oh - do you have the time?". What a bunch of cows!
     
  12. petite

    petite New Member

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    He was really hot. Seriously. Not just attractive, and he sort of oozed some sort of pheromone. Actually that's what the first girl who took off all of her clothes said to me when I first began dating him. She called him a "sex god" and said he "oozed a pheromone" and then 6 months later, she threw herself at him. And he was fucking incredible in bed. And he was extremely intelligent. And he was hilariously funny. And he was extremely charming.

    Obviously we didn't remain friends once one of my friends tried to kiss my boyfriend, or took off all her clothes, or did anything else like that, and I was deeply hurt, over and over again that I had been betrayed by someone I thought was a friend.

    I'm not bothered by the single friends who made passes at TheBF before we began dating. I have a large friends group and there's a lot of dating that goes on, so some of my ex-boyfriends are also their ex-boyfriends, which means at some point, they were dating some guy I used to date. You just deal with it because you've moved on. What else can you do? No longer go to any parties? Ostracize yourself from your own friend's groups? Nah, you learn to be mature about it.

    Some of the women who made passes at TheBF stopped being my friend when we began dating, though, and learning about that particular friend who made the blowjob joke making passes at TheBF before we began dating made the pieces of a puzzle fall into place for me. She totally withdrew from me, and when I friended her on FaceBook, she didn't accept my friend request, and wouldn't return my messages, and now I realize, that it's probably because of TheBF.

    I had another friend who is as cold as ice to me whenever we run into each other. The last time she was friendly to me was just after my first date with TheBF, and when I happily told her about our "date" (it was really a weekend in bed!) she said, "Well, I guess you won." She was never nice to me again.
     
    #12 petite, Nov 23, 2010
    Last edited: Nov 23, 2010
  13. Tau

    Tau New Member

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    No problem at all with pretty boys - I also think its odd to try to compare masculine and feminine beauty - comparing people in terms of what they look like is not something I do anyway. Most of the the really pretty guys I know are falling over chicks desperate to get into their pants so not sure why your bro is struggling. He's not too vain about it is he? That can be dreadfully off putting
     
  14. ManofThunder

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    As far as I can tell, being a good looking man is not something off putting in itself. Logically, there must be something else preventing your brother in his pursuits.
     
  15. Thirdlegproduction

    Thirdlegproduction Formerly WhiteMonst3r
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    Most women fear rejection just like men do, so they will not make the first move most of the times that is, if anything women's egos are more sensitive.

    So the women will send out signals, like eyecontact and playing with their hair or straightening their clothes and most of the times they are not even aware of it but they do.

    These are signs saying "Hi I'm available and I think you're nice, come talk to me" and when the man doesn't they will think oh he's not interested ...... NEXT!

    So handsome or not, when you don't understand these signals you will just have to wait around for the ones that will approach you directly.
     
  16. Catchoftheday

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    Yeah that'll be why the ladies always scream when they see me, they are obviously frightened because I'm SO handome...yeah that'll be right :biggrin1:
     
  17. D_Barbi_Dahl

    D_Barbi_Dahl Account Disabled

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  18. D_Hammond Happydipper

    D_Hammond Happydipper Account Disabled

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    That is because he is probably using closed body language .

    I started using open body language and it makes the world of difference.
    Also learning to reading body language is also important.
     
    #18 D_Hammond Happydipper, Nov 23, 2010
    Last edited: Nov 23, 2010
  19. D_Vlad D Impaler

    D_Vlad D Impaler Account Disabled

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    its all about confidence on both sides...:)
     
  20. Mal_the_Wolf

    Mal_the_Wolf New Member

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    agreed
     
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