Are Women More Emotionally Attached to Sex?

Drifterwood

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Oh yes..I am. I can't have casual sex. I need to have made a strong connection to men I am having sex with. I just can't share my body much less I would crave touching his body.

I take my time and I love sexual tension, build up created by the getting to know..I do not rush the process. Many times it was just a lust bubble, gone away soon..I do not use casual sex with strangers and people who are just available for sex to release my craves. I prefer masturbation release.

But how do you really know if the man is going through the same process?

Do you care? Does he?
 

MickeyLee

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every person i've ever had sex with i've had some guts deep reaction to.
on a physical and emotional level.

see... i think excitement. anticipation. that fluttery tease of the unknown. arousal. desire. sometimes there is a mix of admiration for the object of affection. there is that predatory RAWH! *not sure what emotional-patch-work makes up the RAWH!* i frippin LOVE.

and i'd hope i tick some of those boxes for me nekkid-time friends.

i just don't invest much in the casual.
i don't expect/need/want all the rush to bloom into connection.
all i'm after is that rush/rawh/buzz.

if that makes sense to anyone but me
:smile:

randomly.. i miss heaps of folks from this thread
*lil sniffle*
 

Gisella

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But how do you really know if the man is going through the same process?

Do you care? Does he?


Of course I care, he must be part of the process, same page as me, I do explain to every men interested in dating me and etc where I stand and about my boundaries about casual sex, he has a choice, he is free...he than communicates where he is in all of it..if he is not involved, he will remain a stranger. I do not have sex with strangers, if he wants to get to know me is his choice, if not, move on. I find having sex too early is to distracting from the purpose to really getting to know some one, imo. Without the sex I can concentrate and focus better in the important things.. Plus to me it is really liberating not having sex memories when I end up a relationship that never went nowhere.. at least to me is very easy to let it go..comparing to than the ones I did had great sex and have the memory. The sexual memory I have from the many men I had in my life until now is more than enough. No need anymore men.. but just 1 more...the last one hopefully.

:cool:
 

bobg4400

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While there's obviously a range from men who get emotionally connected if they so much as make eye contact with a woman to women who can fuck a guy and just walk out afterwards without looking back, I think, on average, women are more emotionally connected to sex than men purely because of differences in biology and hormones.
 

Drifterwood

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No need anymore men.. but just 1 more...the last one hopefully.

:cool:

I am there too. Three hundred plus and the other day I woke up with my African GF and an Asian girl and I took a moment to think that this had become my day to day reality.

I am not sure if it is how I want to live or whether I can really change anyway.
 

AlteredEgo

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i just don't invest much in the casual.
i don't expect/need/want all the rush to bloom into connection.
all i'm after is tht rush/rawh/buzz.

if that makes sense to anyone but me
:smile:

randomly.. i miss heaps of folks from this thread
*lil sniffle*
Holy necromancer, Batman! It is always bizarre to see a return of thread started by someone who has since died, no? Startling. Unsettling. But not unpleasant. I miss peeps fom here too. Miss them oodles.

I do know what you mean about the rush, I think. I definitely get a charge from the anticipation, the sharing, and the new additions to my honds of friendship with my partner(s). The more encounters we share, the better that rush gets for me. I can ramp it up, too, by preparing for the time together. My whole getting-ready-for-sex routine adds something special to the sitch for me.

I can become more emotionally attached through sex, but those emotions are not typically romantic. Sex and romantic love are not conjoined for me. I suppose that's why I can be satisfied within a nearly sexless marriage, and not be clingy and weird in my sexual friendships.

On the other hand, I have had men tell me I'm cold or frigid, and the root always seems to be surprise that I'm not falling in love with them just because we had really good sex on many occasions. I have had men I sist they want to keep it light, fun and casual, and then get possessive over me and the time I want to spend fucking other men. I have had men tell me they would love to become friends over time, but they wanted to make sure I wasn't looking to become a girlfriend. I have had those same men tell me they needed some distance to get their heads in order; they were having "confusing feelings" for me.

Three times I fell in love with a casual sex partner (over time). It was mutual all three times. It was impossible to explore the first time. He would never have been able to withstand the fallout of seriously dating/marrying a black woman. That was painful. The other two times are current. I'm trying to let go of them a little because I'm moving 1000 miles away soon. I can't rob my husband of the time it would take to maintain two long-distance love affairs. So it's "Peace, Homie. We'll always have Miami." I hope not to have this kind of complicated entanglement with anyone in my next city.

One last thought. I'm back in the Bronx to take care of some family business. I have been here a month. I fucked two friends, and keep missing a third. It has been difficult for the third and I to schedule around a job that flies him out of town four days a week, and his girlfriend who is wonderful, but not invited to bed with us. The blizzard just cancelled tonight's attempt at a romp. The second is a man I have known through a friend for a few years. We were always mutually curious, but my relationship wasn't open when I lived here. The first shocked me. Sex was much slower, more deliberate, more orally attentive, and he kept making deep eye contact and telling me how much, and how deeply he loves me. I said the words back, and kissed him so he would stop talking. The elephant in the room is, what kind of love are we talking about? I love him. He has been a very good friend to me for over a decade. A traumatic event we experienced on our first "date" cemented our bond, and our friendship has been a rock for each of us at one time or another. But I'm not in love with him, and as I would hate to ever hurt him, I hope he isn't in love with me. I don't want to hurt him, and I don't want to lose him.
 

Gisella

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While there's obviously a range from men who get emotionally connected if they so much as make eye contact with a woman to women who can fuck a guy and just walk out afterwards without looking back, I think, on average, women are more emotionally connected to sex than men purely because of differences in biology and hormones.

My hormones talks in my fetishes types..they have to do with my eggs, making nests, feeding my birds and etc

I am there too. Three hundred plus and the other day I woke up with my African GF and an Asian girl and I took a moment to think that this had become my day to day reality.

I am not sure if it is how I want to live or whether I can really change anyway.

For me it ended no desire to visit that page anymore to write names on it.. gone is the passion for that..I've changed, my needs changed.

Holy necromancer, Batman! It is always bizarre to see a return of thread started by someone who has since died, no? Startling. Unsettling. But not unpleasant. I miss peeps fom here too. Miss them oodles.

R.I.P.. I had no idea he had died.

I sure missed many of them too.
 

bobg4400

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My hormones talks in my fetishes types..they have to do with my eggs, making nests, feeding my birds and etc ...
What? :confused:
Can you explain this a bit clearer please?
I appreciate english isn't your first language but I have no idea what you just said.
Sorry :frown1:
 

Silvertip

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I can easily have casual, unemotional sex with men.

It's noticeably more difficult for me to have sex with a woman without emotion.

Sex with a friend is always better than a casual hookup and that necessarily involves some emotion.

Sex with a woman I love is the only true lovemaking for me, and that I can do without being in love.

And, yes, I have been in love several times over the years and that always makes the sex fantastic.

It's all good.
 

Gisella

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What? :confused:
Can you explain this a bit clearer please?
I appreciate english isn't your first language but I have no idea what you just said.
Sorry :frown1:


Oh don't need to be sorry...myself do not understand what I write sometimes. lol

what I was trying to say is that as a female carrying eggs, having xx chromosomes on top of that carrying all my ancestry dna, not only my body but my soul is feminine/femme, having strong preference to play nesting with very masculine males..being my unique moi/me,:my fetishes shows all of that make up of me, animal femme. I love being femme! My hormones are energized by the masculine xy hormones to play specific fetishes that I already find out to be common desires to the type of men I am attracted to and are attracted to me. I do not have to explain we just flow to that.

awwwww help.. I love it to play and the chemistry that flows! I am always seduced by those strong desires, love to flow in it.

If you can't understand at least a bit by now..I'm sorry but I can't explain better.

:smile:
 

D_BenJo_Ahanakokolele

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I'm extremely emotional during sex. Like it's very hard for me to be physically attracted to some one if i don't have feelings for him.

the best sex is the sex that you have with someone you trust and love. Sure sex feels great but it's meaningless. Now to me that's a waste of time.
 

NottsBound

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I just ended an FWB relationship where me, being the guy, saw sex as an emotional kind of thing whereas the girl I was seeing had no emotional attachment.

She just wanted to keep on fucking when she felt like it but I fell for her and had to stop it cause it hurt just being seen as a sex object to someone I fell in love with.

I told my friends this and they said it was absurd I'd turn down an FWB arrangement with a hot girl.

My point is, as men society tends to portray that we have no emotions or that we must hide our emotions, which I believe is wrong.

You'll find that more men have an emotional attachment to sex that you already might think
 

crushinonted

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I think that if you actually like the person you're with, there's always some emotional attachment to sex. An FWB situation starts with friendship, so there's an inherent emotional attachment to the person. Otherwise, it would just be casual sex with a stranger. I don't think it's necessarily fair to equate her not wanting a relationship to being emotionally detached with regards to sex.