Are you a Sexual Anorexic?

[str82fcuk]

Yes taking your time is good, but I'm sure you didnt take nine years. In my case taking nine years is an indicator of something more than just bad luck ... but I havent got it all figured out yet. It took me 4 years. :redface: And may have taken me more than that had he not said anything to me.

Interesting. For me I almost always have to wait for someone else to make the first move because of ...
a) my excessive timidity :redface:
b) my low self-esteem imagining other people wouldn't be interested anyway :redface:
c) my terror about possibly being rejected
d) my antiquated sense of politesse
e) my cultural, linguistic, neurological and social sense of alienation :tongue:
f) my prudishness (which disguises my lasciviousness)
g) my failure to pick up on 'cues'
h) my fear of people (and strangers in particular)
i) my injured damaged compromised soul
i) my total aversion to crowds and public places
and a whole host of various other reasons as well, not least of which is that I am entirely ambivalent about what it is that I want or even whether I actually want anything at all. Anyway, I mean really how the hell am I supposed to make any decisions without having a menu? Huh? Sex? well I want it all pre-planned maybe all-dressed like in the pictures but probably will have to go through the whole list of potential garnishments in minute detail before making a decision ... or maybe I'll just take the combo to make it easy :biggrin1: ... Relationship? well what the fuck is that anyway? that just means having sex with the same person more than once, maybe 2 or 3 times, perhaps even on a semi-regular basis, or like being friends with the person you're fucking no? :wink: ... So yeah I have no doubt that I am sexually anorexic-bulimic (although I have fear about working my way the whole way through that book) AND I am neurologically diverse AND I have come from some very specific contexts , all of which makes me just generally give up on even the idea of ever bothering to consider even trying to somehow find out anything about what getting into that whole mysterious unknown uncharted world surrounding that alleged game called *choke* 'd.ting' might even actually supposedly mean :tongue: or whether any of that wierd stuff is ever really going to be worth any of the huge amount of effort involved .... and then of course the deal-breaking clincher would have to be the total and absolute lack of potential candidates ! I mean really where are all the nice available men who want to get to 'know' me hiding and do they even exist ? Well the statistics make it qute clear and that is why there is no menu! Ha! :biggrin1: Well maybe one day when I have more time and energy I will venture out to explore a bit more of even more theories and strategies about this nonsensical non-quest but in the mean time I have other things to do ! :tongue: ...

ps. please dont give me any hocus pocus feel-good wishy-washy trite cliches about how the right one will magically arrive if one stops looking (who the fuck said I was looking anyway)

pps. if you dont want your head bitten off be very careful not to rub me up the wrong way by accidentally stepping on my large inflamed ultra-prickly sensitive bit !

 

[Principessa]

Interesting. For me I almost always have to wait for someone else to make the first move because of ...
a) my excessive timidity :redface:
b) my low self-esteem imagining other people wouldn't be interested anyway :redface:
c) my terror about possibly being rejected
d) my antiquated sense of politesse
e) my cultural, linguistic, neurological and social sense of alienation :tongue:
f) my prudishness (which disguises my lasciviousness)
g) my failure to pick up on 'cues'
h) my fear of people (and strangers in particular)
i) my injured damaged compromised soul
i) my total aversion to crowds and public places
and a whole host of various other reasons as well, not least of which is that I am entirely ambivalent about what it is that I want or even whether I actually want anything at all. Anyway, I mean really how the hell am I supposed to make any decisions without having a menu? Huh? Sex? well I want it all pre-planned maybe all-dressed like in the pictures but probably will have to go through the whole list of potential garnishments in minute detail before making a decision ... or maybe I'll just take the combo to make it easy :biggrin1: ... Relationship? well what the fuck is that anyway? that just means having sex with the same person more than once, maybe 2 or 3 times, perhaps even on a semi-regular basis, or like being friends with the person you're fucking no? :wink: ... So yeah I have no doubt that I am sexually anorexic-bulimic (although I have fear about working my way the whole way through that book) AND I am neurologically diverse AND I have come from some very specific contexts , all of which makes me just generally give up on even the idea of ever bothering to consider even trying to somehow find out anything about what getting into that whole mysterious unknown uncharted world surrounding that alleged game called *choke* 'd.ting' might even actually supposedly mean :tongue: or whether any of that wierd stuff is ever really going to be worth any of the huge amount of effort involved .... and then of course the deal-breaking clincher would have to be the total and absolute lack of potential candidates ! I mean really where are all the nice available men who want to get to 'know' me hiding and do they even exist ? Well the statistics make it qute clear and that is why there is no menu! Ha! :biggrin1: Well maybe one day when I have more time and energy I will venture out to explore a bit more of even more theories and strategies about this nonsensical non-quest but in the mean time I have other things to do ! :tongue: ...

ps. please dont give me any hocus pocus feel-good wishy-washy trite cliches about how the right one will magically arrive if one stops looking (who the fuck said I was looking anyway)

pps. if you dont want your head bitten off be very careful not to rub me up the wrong way by accidentally stepping on my large inflamed ultra-prickly sensitive bit !

The only reason I am not still in that dry spell is because I forgot to log out of AOL IM one night in April 2006 while playing Bejeweled2. Some guy had seen my very basic profile and IM'd me. We started chatting, then talking on the phone, one thing led to another and he became my fuck buddy.

 

[pablovian]

I haven't had sex for 8 years. Does that make me a virgin again?

 

[Principessa]

I haven't had sex for 8 years. Does that make me a virgin again?

YES! For heaven's sake get out of the house and get some!

 

[Damian Johnson]

FUCK THIS IS ALL SOO CLOSE TO HOME! I NEED HELP...:biggrin1:

Wow and I thought it was rough for people who were sex addicts! It must really suck to have this condition. :frown1:

Sexual anorexia is a term used to describe a lack of "appetite" for sex. However, the term is used broadly and can be better defined as a fear of intimacy to the point that the person has severe anxiety surrounding sex. There are people that appear to have a sexual addiction because they frequent strip clubs, prostitutes, cyberporn sites, etc., but really fit the definition of sexual anorexic because they are terrified of having any kind of relationship beyond a paid-for or anonymous experience. The person does not have an aversion to sex but to intimacy. A sex addict is more likely to be capable of being in a more intimate relationship and is often married or in a committed relationship when deciding to get treatment for their addiction. A sexual anorexic may have a social phobia or be so fragile emotionally that the risk of rejection or criticism is far more terrifying than being isolated. Narcissistic traits are often seen in both sexual anorexics and sex addicts, but in the sexual anorexic, the traits are considered far more "brittle" and the pain of rejection and criticism is far more excruciating than for the sex addict.

Treatment is aimed at helping the person see where his/her fears really are and to see the world in less black and white terms. The patient is encouraged to take calculated risks with social activities and distorted thinking is gently challenged with facts and reality. The goals for both sex addicts and sexual anorexics is to learn to have healthy sex and get emotional needs met in direct ways, and to set healthy boundaries. This is an issue that requires ongoing treatment in planned stages with the end goal of autonomy, independence, and improved social relationships.

The concept of "sexual anorexia" was first mentioned by psychologist Nathan Hare in 1975, in an unpublished dissertation submitted in partial fulfillment for a Ph.D. at the California School of Professional Psychology in San Francisco.

Ellen Goodman, the nationally syndicated columnist, revealed psychiatrist Sylvia Kaplan's usage of the concept in 1981; which was quickly noted in the editor's "Notes" in the journal "Black Male/Female Relationships."

A book by psychologist Patrick Carnes called "Sexual Anorexia" was published in 1997. Hare's Ph.D. dissertation on "Black Male-Female Relations" (1975) as well as the now defunct journal called "Black Male/Female Relationships" (1979-1982) are available from University Microfilms, at the University of Michigan.

 

[Hellboy0]

YES! For heaven's sake get out of the house and get some!

I know what the poor guy is on about...we've talked about it before.

And to be fair, I have taken that advice, njqt. And damn I feel good about myself! Is great to release the inner slut.:tongue: Now HB0 is a happy chappy.