cos someone who hurts me doesn't deserve me in their life.
objection!
that surely must depend on the nature of the hurt? a man cannot help it if he falls out of love with you, or fails to fall in love with you. that's just an unfortunate incompatibility and is nobody's fault.
as opposed to the ahole who kills your dog, shags your dad and pees in your favourite shoes.
even if you can't play bestest buds, there's no reason not to be civil and friendly towards the former.
not all hurts are equal.
This is it in a nutshell. This is what I think happened. He just fell out of love with me. Instead of owning it and fessing up, he started going out and eventually got caught. He had casually asked one night in bed how I felt about an open relationship. I said I had no problem with it if (1) I know who you're with and (2) you always sleep in THIS bed every night. Apparently that wasn't good enough. He got caught when he went off for an entire weekend, claiming he was at his mothers house visiting his sick grandmother.
I'm over it and I think I'm in a better place. He regrets what he did, doesn't want to get back together (as in live together), doesn't want to have sex (he claims he's more asexual now (I say frigid)) but he wants to be in each others lives - that 5 years is a long time to just give up. Sometimes I wonder.