...are you freaking kidding me?!...

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by Ephoe28, Feb 8, 2008.

  1. Ephoe28

    Ephoe28 New Member

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    Ok, so as you can see from my stats i consider myself bi and prefer women. I currently have a girlfriend and we've been dating for a little over 6 months. A couple weeks ago when I was home on Christmas break we were going to have sex but I found that I couldn't get it up. So I just told her it was because I was really hungry and sick, which I actually was both. Later we came back and were making out watching a movie while other people were there and I started to get hard. People left and we were just about to have sex when somone came in. After that, we closed the door, but I found that it was hard for me to really commit to getting completely hard. I accidentally rammed myself into a sharp corner of a light *don't ask* and it really hurt, but i pretended it hurt more than it did just so that I didn't have to keep trying to get hard. So here's my problem...I love her *yea, it's only been 6 months but trust me*, but I don't know what to do. I can get hard making out with her, but as soon as it gets serious my dick runs and hides. So you guys *and girls* have any advice? Oh, btw, having sex with her would be the first time i've had sex with a girl, but I've had sex with guys before. Another detail is that she wants to go straight to sex, with no fingering/me going down on her, which makes it even harder for me. So what should I do? Thanks!
     
  2. B_Think_Kink

    B_Think_Kink New Member

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    Perhaps word it so you tell her you get super horny and excited when you get to preform foreplay, see if that helps. Maybe if she's down with it.. watch some gay porn together if you're into that. Try and bring her into it as much as possible, without allowing her to think that it's her faulght.
     
  3. gothamboy83

    gothamboy83 New Member

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    It may be that you have a stronger attraction to guys and gay sex than women. thats okay. ya know? also they make this straight porn designed for gay men. check that out.
     
  4. B_punylilpecker

    B_punylilpecker New Member

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    i can sympathize. I like women, and i'm attracted to women. i like their personalities and i'm attracted to their bodies, but i'm also attracted to male bodies, and i enjoy sucking cock and having sex with men. my situation is made more difficult by the fact that i , unlike you, have a tiny little penis, and i've never been able to satisfy a woman. naturally, i've spent my life having sex with men, who never judge me or make fun of me like women do. it's weird. you think you're supposed to be one sex or the other, but i've always fallen into a grey area, sexually. straight people and gay people disapprove of those of us floating in this middle ground. i'd like to be straight or gay. it would make life and my definition of myself easier. at the same time, i always have a date for saturday night. go figure. is anybody else reading this drivel in the same boat?
     
  5. SandraSmithCarver

    SandraSmithCarver New Member

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    i dont see anything wrong with asking her to suck on it or what ever,, foreplay, ya know? nothing wrong with that,, sounds like you need to ask, or guide her
     
  6. SandraSmithCarver

    SandraSmithCarver New Member

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    Im not in the same boat,, but i sympathize, i consider myself bi-curious i guess,, have had a few girl experiences,, i definitly love men, would never have a serious relationship with a woman in that way, but don't stress about labeling yourself,, it sounds like its other peoples problem more than yours,, just love who you love,, and i think as life goes along , you will figure it out, you'll just know, just my opinion for what its worth:rolleyes:
     
  7. B_sadfeet

    B_sadfeet New Member

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    omg thats so gay
     
  8. Garth33

    Verified Gold Member

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    agree...half the fun of arriving is getting there:wink: Going down first always gets me rarin' for more...
     
  9. B_sadfeet

    B_sadfeet New Member

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    im not kidding you ephoe
     
  10. Ephoe28

    Ephoe28 New Member

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    Thanks for the support SadFeet...you think I don't know myself? *not directed to sadfeet* And it's not that I don't get off to straight porn, If i watched that with her I'd be fine too. Part of my problem is that the first time this happened was when i went to visit her, and I felt pressured like I was just their to have sex with her *I drove to visit her*.
     
  11. B_sadfeet

    B_sadfeet New Member

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    :rolleyes::rolleyes::rolleyes::rolleyes::rolleyes::mad::mad::mad::tongue::tongue::tongue::tongue::tongue::tongue::rolleyes::rolleyes::rolleyes::rolleyes::cool::cool::eek::eek::eek::redface::redface:
    :confused::confused::smile::smile:
    :wink::wink::wink::wink::mad::mad::mad::mad::mad::mad:
     
  12. Principessa

    Gold Member

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    I like Think_Kinks advice.

    Tell her you need a little romance, not "wham bam thank you ma'am." Maybe be more aggressive about foreplay. Make her lie back and enjoy what a cunning linguist you are. :wink: Sounds like maybe she has never been with a nice guy like you who knows how to prepare a woman for more than a fast fuck.:redface:
     
  13. B_cigarbabe

    B_cigarbabe New Member

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    whats your problem sadfeet?
    Ephoe and puny,Tell her you don't want to be pressured,to have sex.
    Perhaps knowing that your only going to have sex with her,is the problem.
    Puny,so what if your cock is small! There will be a woman, who will be satisfied with what you have, at some point. Until then,keep having sex with whomever you chose,and forget every one else.
    cigarbabe:saevil:
     
  14. Meniscus

    Gold Member

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    Ephoe, clearly the scenarios in which you almost had sex with this girl were not working for you, and there's nothing wrong with that. The only situation where I can imagine going straight to sex would be with a long-term partner you've already had lots of sex with. I think you have to have had some sexual experience with each other first, and to know each other's likes, dislikes, limits, boundaries, etc. before you can just jump right into it like that.

    I think for most people, even people with years of sexual experience, whenever you have sex with someone for the first time, you have to ease into it, slowly, sensuously, one tentative step at a time. It's romantic, it's erotic, it's exciting, and by the time you get to the "main course" you're ready for it.

    In your case, this is not only your first experience with this particular girl, but with any girl, and that is a big deal for you. You should do whatever feels right for you, and you shouldn't do anything that doesn't feel right. Clearly, going straight to sex doesn't feel right. This girl needs to respect that and be willing to match her pace to yours. If she's unable or unwilling to do that, then maybe she's not the right girl for you to lose your hetero virginity to. (I'm not saying that she always has to be the one to compromise. If you and she end up together long-term, then if she wants to start with intercourse, then you need to accommodate that once in a while, but not your first time, and not until you've gotten to know each other sexually.)

    I also think it's possible that there's some other stuff going on here. What other reasons could there be why you have trouble staying hard enough to have sex with this girl?
    • Maybe you haven't been in a situation where you've had enough privacy.
    • Maybe on some level you don't want to go through with it, because:
        • you're not attracted to her
        • she's not your type, or
        • she's just not the right girl.
    • Maybe you're just not ready to have sex and/or maybe you're not ready to be in a relationship.
    • Maybe you're not as straight-leaning as you think you are. (Many gay men go through a phase where they think there are bi, but eventually realize that they are primarily gay.)
    • Maybe you have other fears/doubts/anxieties that you haven't yet told us about that are manifesting as sexual inhibition.
    There are probably many other possibilities. You need to take an honest look at this situation, figure out what the problem(s) are, and decide what to do about them. Best of luck to you.
     
  15. erratic

    Gold Member

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    Dude, yeah, it sounds like some foreplay is in order. Boring sex gets old fast.

    I've found that people who want to get straight to it (pardon the pun) are often the type that like someone to dominate a bit. So why not just tell her that she's not allowed to have your cock until you eat your fill of pussy. Be gentle about it, but make it clear that you both have to do at least a five minutes of pussy eating/cock sucking/hand jobbing/finger banging. That's no big commitment, is it?
     
  16. bigtwin

    bigtwin Member

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    Perhaps you are a little nervous? Anxious about the first time with a woman? Many feel that foreplay is important for the experience and you shouldn't feel inhibited in telling and showing her that. It may also help you relax. If you find its not her game or that you can't meet halfway then you've learned a lesson about sexual compatibility, i think.
     
  17. B_Epic_Size

    B_Epic_Size New Member

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    just remember, your overall health is a big factor in performance. If youre over weight or you smoke or do drugs (whether prescribed or illegal).
     
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