are you "good at" casual sex?

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by voyeuristic, Jan 11, 2009.

  1. voyeuristic

    voyeuristic New Member

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    One of my sweethearts is always joking that I'm horrible at it, because I inevitably develop feelings for most of the people I start fooling around with. This hasn't been true across the board - there have been a few people I've been happy to keep it totally NSA with - but unfortunately the more awesome someone is, the more likely I am to start like-liking folks that were originally intended as mere FWBs. Since I'm not looking for monogamy, my definition of "attached to" is probably pretty different than the kind that involves lots of demands about fidelity, but I feel guilty because I totally want to cuddle my fuck buddies more often than not. EPIC FAIL.

    Anyway, this post is prompted by the fact that I am totally getting a crush on my latest Craigslist Casual Encounters hookup. Lame, lame, lame.
     
  2. Canadian.Surfer

    Canadian.Surfer New Member

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    Dont have casual sex...well atleast not so far in my life. I guess I just wasnt born with the sport-fucking gene. Dont get me wrong, my last gf and I would go at it all the time, I loved having sex and fooling around with her. But as for hooking up with 'randoms' or stuff like that...it hasnt occured yet for me.
     
  3. Principessa

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    No, I am not. Which is one of many reasons I stopped doing that years ago. :cool:
     
  4. voyeuristic

    voyeuristic New Member

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    The problem is that when you focus on all the other qualities of the relationship first, 99% of the time the guy turns out to be vanilla...so I'm kind of approaching things from the opposite end now.
     
  5. privileged_gf

    privileged_gf New Member

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    casual sex is soul destroying...
     
  6. MickeyLee

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    i might be a little too good at casual sex. in my whirly burly baby-dyke days i made it a point to keep sexual encounters one night or limited engagements only. i so got off the hunt and the challenge. even the few LTRs i've stumbled into were open with solid boundaries established pretty early on and not up for negotiation.

    i don't see a problem being affectionate with a hook-up or a FWB. i have been known to spend time fully clothed with a FB. there just isn't the possibility of the relationship growing beyond casual and mutually enjoyable.

    ML

    causal sex isn't soul destroying. it can spoil you. all the orgasms with none of the emotional investment or selflessness a partner requires.
     
  7. D_Petherick_Poundlouder

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    I think I'm decent at them.

    However, its hard to not get interested for me when someone is just sexy as fuck. I can't just hit it and give it up for the rest of the world. I'm very selfish in that sense. Now if it's just an average looking girl, or someone I'm not really attracted to...then, there you go. Its a shameful trait of mine, but thats how it is.
     
  8. Principessa

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    Not for nothing but, why is this something at which people strive to be good? :confused:
     
  9. AlteredEgo

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    Sounds like you either never tried it, or aren't any good at it.:wink:

    I couldn't agree more.

    I never had any trouble with casual sex once I decided I wanted some. It was great! I learned so much about pleasure through casual sex. I learned about my body. I learned about men, and I learned about friendship too. One of my very best friends is a man I initially only met for casual sex. When I met him, he told me he was a hedonist, and told me he wanted to show me Brooklyn through the senses of a hedonist. What fun! I'm still on speaking terms with almost all of my past booty calls. I didn't do one-nighters. I did casual affairs. I was open to real friendship with any of them, and some of them really are friends. I love some of them non-romantically. And all of them at some point have told me that the reason we get along so well is they never felt they had to play games with me, and appreciated that I never cock-blocked them if I ran into them someplace with other women, and just generally didn't remind them of the women they usually dated. Oh. And the incredible, and generous head.
     
  10. AlteredEgo

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    Because sex is easier to find than love. Therefore, if you have some casual sex, but you aren't able to compartmentalize it, what you will end up with is unrequited love. Or maybe just unrequited elevated emotional investment. Either way, that sucks.
     
  11. ManlyBanisters

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    I was good at when I did it - but that's been some 12 - 13 years now. I can't say for sure but I think I would be again if life took me in that direction.

    Besides, I like the fact that there ain't nothing casual about sex with HickBoy :cool::biggrin:
     
  12. AlteredEgo

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    Does he use condoms with little tuxes painted on them? The part of my mind which thinks in cartoons likes that idea.
     
  13. open501s

    open501s Member

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    In gay land sex is like shaking hands. I've and several one night stands that I end up becoming good friends with; just friends with.

    Other I never see again.
     
  14. goodwood

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    i love casual sex and would have to say that i am quite good at it. i love it when women are looking to be fucked and then are amazingly surprised when i end up worhsipping their bodies and making them cum.
     
  15. Jovial

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    voyeuristic, maybe you can't handle great sex. :tongue: I'm half serious. I mean so you get feelings for the person, so what? There is nothing wrong with feelings. That makes the sex better, right? It sounds more like the problem is you get attached...more attached they they get to you. Then that causes problems.
     
  16. ManlyBanisters

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    No condoms - just a dickie bow :rolleyes::redface: (I slay myself, well, somebody should!)

    And when we're bored of my Piggy fetish I dress up like this :biggrin1::biggrin1:
     
  17. thadjock

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    ur extremely self aware

    i know that i've never had sex within a relationship that was anywhere close to being as hot as sex with someone who i have no emotional investment in at all.... i know that's the opposite of the way it's supposed to be but it's what i am, is that messed up?

    PS: and btw I am awesome at casual sex! of all the things i do in my life,(and i'm skilled and above average intelligence at alot of things) sex is the one i should win an award for. lol
     
  18. AlteredEgo

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    BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Thank you.
     
  19. B_Think_Kink

    B_Think_Kink New Member

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    Because why form attachments to people when you know there is a good chance you wont end up with that person.

    I'm amazing at one night stands or FWB's, I just don't have the dating option programmed into me. There is one person now that I like, but because of the situation, it's probably not going to work out.
     
  20. joybunny

    joybunny New Member

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    Whoops! Wrong thread! Well since I am here...No I am not good at casual sex. I usually have an emotional connection with him before sex even comes into the picture.
     
    #20 joybunny, Jan 11, 2009
    Last edited: Jan 11, 2009
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