Are you more than just a pretty face?

D

deleted3782

Guest
Yesterday morning as I ordered my coffee, the cashier apologized for not knowing my name as she went to write it out on my cup. My first reaction was to give her an incredulous glance and quip "Nobody here has ever known my name" but instead I just smiled and let it go. This morning, the same woman took my order, and still didn't know my name, and that's ok.

How many of you are regulars in places you frequent to the extent that the proprietors know your name? I live in an auto-oriented suburban environment that physically discourages a lot of personal interaction beyond speaking into a microphone while ordering in a drive-thru. Walking into a place, be it a dry-cleaner, a bank, a restaurant is uncommon, and when I do walk in - most of the staff are very young and have not yet cultivated skills of customer relations.

So how many of you are more than a nameless customer? Personally, I admire people who can connect with others in the midst of the fracus of our daily routine, and wish I lived in a setting that was more intimate and humane. If you are on a first-name basis, how did it happen? Did you strike up friendly conversation, or did they? Has it ever moved to friendship or beyond?
 

D_Gunther Snotpole

Account Disabled
Joined
Oct 3, 2005
Posts
13,632
Media
0
Likes
73
Points
193
There are coffee shops and restaurants where I am a regular and known to many of the staff, but few of them actually know my name.
They know what I usually have, may remember things we've said about politics, the general news, or the weather, and can often pick up a conversation from a day or two earlier.
There's a kind of intimacy in these interactions, and I enjoy that.
But there's rarely anything so intimate as a first-name rapport.
 

alex8.5

Admired Member
Joined
Mar 1, 2007
Posts
1,672
Media
0
Likes
812
Points
333
Location
Bel Air, California. USA
Sexuality
100% Gay, 0% Straight
Gender
Male
I have several busineses that I frequent, and I am known by name. Either first or last name. I am a very freindly, extrroverted man, so I just start talking to people, and I ask questions about themselves, because I actually care. A few years ago, the man who runs the video store I go to, lost his daughter to cancer, I went to the funeral to pay my respect, because he has always been very kind to me. He was surprised to see me at the church. I think it's the little things you do for people that make them remember you. Especially if you do it because you care about others.
 

D_Geffarde Phartsmeller

Experimental Member
Joined
Oct 15, 2007
Posts
1,198
Media
0
Likes
14
Points
123
When I worked at a casino we would remember the high-rollers to give the illusion they were important but in reality, we couldn't think less of them. They were often the assholest of the assholes. Having name recognition isn't always a good thing!

From my side, however, I'm an awesome customer. I've been in the retail industry for a few years so I know the shit and sympathize with those that help me. It seems like there are too many people that haven't worked a day in there lives and can't understand why they receive bad customer service when they act like douchebags. Treat people with respect and compassion and you'll be treated in kind.

The best experience I've ever had with people remembering my name is when I was in college. I would order pizza e-v-e-r-y-d-a-y. Eventually, the drivers all knew me because I gave good tips. In a college town, tips are rare. 25% tips are unthinkable! Tip money is a big part of the driver's salary, just like for waiters, so I didn't want to screw them. Neeeedless to say, I never waited more than 15min for a pizza.

Since college, however, I haven't had that sort of "bond" with strangers. I'll be remembered at places, mostly by girls, but just in a flirty way. Casual, superficial. I guess it's nice to be recognized but it tends to become meaningless after awhile when it's founded on nothing substantial.
 

whatireallywant

Sexy Member
Joined
Jun 4, 2007
Posts
3,535
Media
0
Likes
30
Points
183
Sexuality
100% Straight, 0% Gay
Gender
Female
Some of the people who work at the Subway nearest my place know what kind of sub is my favorite. And where I used to live, I would go to one of the bar/restaurants frequently. I ordered different foods there so they didn't automatically know what I was going to order as far as food, but they knew which beer I liked.
 

prince_will

Cherished Member
Verified
Gold
Joined
Apr 5, 2006
Posts
2,039
Media
51
Likes
350
Points
403
Verification
View
Sexuality
50% Straight, 50% Gay
Gender
Male
I know at the Starbucks at my college, i'm a regular, but they don't know my name. I guess it's kind of embarrasing with how many times i go there. There are two baristas who know my face and my order most of the time to the point where they treat me differently (like more on a personal level) when dealing with me than other customers.

but i don't know their names either. :biggrin1:
 

Notthe7

Cherished Member
Verified
Gold
Joined
Aug 13, 2007
Posts
1,086
Media
0
Likes
255
Points
468
Verification
View
Sexuality
100% Straight, 0% Gay
Gender
Female
Most customers aren't worth remembering by name.

Most people don't give their name.

I work as a waitress.. I tell them my name at the beginning of the meal and by the end I'm mostly just beckoned by a whistle or a finger motion.

I hate people.

(an aside: I'll always call my server, barista, etc (anyone with a name tag) by their name, usually makes things much smoother.)
 

prepstudinsc

Worshipped Member
Verified
Gold
Joined
May 18, 2004
Posts
16,993
Media
431
Likes
21,497
Points
468
Location
Charlotte, NC, USA
Verification
View
Sexuality
No Response
Gender
Male
I have a lot of places that I go where I am known, it makes you feel good that someone in a store, a restaurant, or some kind of business knows who you are.
There are several restaurants where I eat where the staff knows me. The owner at one of them will cook me things not on the menu--I usually just tell her what kind of meat I want and let her create from there.

The people at my cleaners know me--when I go in, I don't even have to hand them my receipt and they have already pulled my clothes from the back.

When I go to the bank, the branch manager knows me, as do most of the tellers. Since they know me, they often waive fees or waive holds on deposits.
 

D_Bob_Crotchitch

Expert Member
Joined
Jun 11, 2006
Posts
8,252
Media
0
Likes
106
Points
193
I have several busineses that I frequent, and I am known by name. Either first or last name. I am a very freindly, extrroverted man, so I just start talking to people, and I ask questions about themselves, because I actually care. A few years ago, the man who runs the video store I go to, lost his daughter to cancer, I went to the funeral to pay my respect, because he has always been very kind to me. He was surprised to see me at the church. I think it's the little things you do for people that make them remember you. Especially if you do it because you care about others.


These words of advice are some of the wisest I've ever seen posted on here. Take note peeps.

I am well known in a lot of places in town. A lot of the people at Kroger call me by my first name. Some peeps don't remember my name but they always remember my face. It's kind of nice. I do greet people, exchange pleasantries, and try to make a difference. There is no way I would ever do anything risky in this county. I'm just an average working peep but I am very well known.
 

jason_els

<img border="0" src="/images/badges/gold_member.gi
Joined
Dec 16, 2004
Posts
10,228
Media
0
Likes
162
Points
193
Location
Warwick, NY, USA
Sexuality
90% Gay, 10% Straight
Gender
Male
Hmm....

They know my name at the pharmacy and the housewares shop (both run by a family which are friends of my family), the insurance agency (my uncle's), and the Chinese restaurant.

I'm known as a face in a few other restaurants and delis. That's about it. I feel like James Bond, "Mr. Bond here will have a small memorial service with only Moneypenny and a few tearful restaurateurs in attendance,"only with no Moneypenny.
 

D_Bob_Crotchitch

Expert Member
Joined
Jun 11, 2006
Posts
8,252
Media
0
Likes
106
Points
193
I've even been given a lot of nick names. :smile:

You know life might change a lot for peeps if they'd practice what was in the Glenn Campbell song, "Try A Little Kindness". I had a lady tell me many years later that she loved me, and would never forget how I went about every day loving on people. I had to fight back tears. Shoot, I'm having to fight them back now. In my own life, the love I've given out has come back to me many fold.
 
Last edited:

transformer_99

Experimental Member
Joined
Aug 5, 2006
Posts
2,429
Media
0
Likes
9
Points
183
Sexuality
100% Straight, 0% Gay
Gender
Male
Most customers aren't worth remembering by name.

Most people don't give their name.

I work as a waitress.. I tell them my name at the beginning of the meal and by the end I'm mostly just beckoned by a whistle or a finger motion.

I hate people.

(an aside: I'll always call my server, barista, etc (anyone with a name tag) by their name, usually makes things much smoother.)

Sounds like you made the perfect occupational choice. I'd probably still tip you 25-33 % even though you really think I'm an @sshole. :wink:
 

earllogjam

Expert Member
Joined
Aug 15, 2006
Posts
4,917
Media
0
Likes
178
Points
193
Sexuality
No Response
My barber knows me by name. I go sometimes even when I really don't need a haircut just to visit with him and trade stories. The regulars at the gym also know me and of course work colleagues.

But a familiar world does not exist outside the bubble of my life I've made for myself. Perhaps it's the consequence of living in an affluent society where you really aren't dependent on individuals in the community or relationships to get you through life. You can easily live alone and get by knowing no one in America.
 

earllogjam

Expert Member
Joined
Aug 15, 2006
Posts
4,917
Media
0
Likes
178
Points
193
Sexuality
No Response
I hate being called by my first name by tradespeople, clerks, wait staff, etc :mad:

Sometimes after a conference or event I forget to take off my "Hello My Name is" peel and stick badge and store clerks sometimes call me by my first name surprising me in all the wrong ways.

I immediately rip off the badge. Grrrr.
 

D_Bob_Crotchitch

Expert Member
Joined
Jun 11, 2006
Posts
8,252
Media
0
Likes
106
Points
193
Sometimes after a conference or event I forget to take off my "Hello My Name is" peel and stick badge and store clerks sometimes call me by my first name surprising me in all the wrong ways.

I immediately rip off the badge. Grrrr.

The ones that have known me a really really long time, and I have built a personal relationship with do call me by my formal first name. Some put Mr. in front of it as a term of respect. Others call me Mr. (last name) but still smile when they see me, and we interact.

I think we've isolated ourselves from civility, and common courtesy. People have become self-absorbed and distant.
 

vince

Legendary Member
Joined
May 13, 2007
Posts
8,271
Media
1
Likes
1,672
Points
333
Location
Canada
Sexuality
69% Straight, 31% Gay
Gender
Male
Most of the people working at the local small markets and restaurants in my neighborhood know me by first name and I know them as well. Some are more familiar then others and will drop the "Mr." Vince (Vince bey) or use the friendly but respectful Vince "abi" (means big brother).

This culture is generally more friendly and more nosy than in N. America and Europe. It seems that people are less up tight about starting a conversation with strangers.