Are You ok if guy doesn't come

Discussion in 'Women's Issues' started by fournineteenfiftynine, Aug 29, 2009.

  1. fournineteenfiftynine

    fournineteenfiftynine Well-Known Member

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    If you have a fun night of sex where you come, but he doesn't....are you okay with that or would that bother you?
     
  2. Principessa

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    It would bother me. As women many of us have been conditioned through the media that if a man doesn't ejaculate he hasn't orgasmed. If he doesn't orgasm, then he has not enjoyed the sexual experience. Therefore if he didn't enjoy the sex, it must be the womans fault. :frown1: Yeah, yeah, I know there are many reasons a man may have trouble ejaculating. None of that stuff goes through our minds at that special moment in bed. :redface:
     
  3. Marlboro woman

    Marlboro woman New Member

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    It would bother me, I want to hear him moan with pleasure, feel his muscles tighten, see his face break out in dimples

    I have only known one man who had this problem. Are you trying to tell us your cock can stay hard for hours?
     
  4. Wish-4-8

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    I had that issue when I started having sex, and yes, I could stay hard for hours. Probably why they never really complained. And I did do my share of moaning because it really did feel good. Just couldnt shoot at the time.

    So, would you rather have a guy that has trouble cumming but stays hard for you and can go all night long,

    or

    would you rather have a guy that can cum "on time" but its 50/ 50 whether he could get it up at all?
     
  5. silvergirl

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    i wud feel like i had failed a little. i always get my man to cum...
     
  6. Marlboro woman

    Marlboro woman New Member

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    Ideally, neither.

    But since neither is an option, then the second option, because the first guy is probably a sexual automaton. You can still do other things to each other even if he can't get hard.
     
  7. hctib1

    hctib1 Well-Known Member

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    I've been with the same man for a little over a year. He's only cum ONCE with me! If he's been drinking he's like the Energizer Bunny.... and he doesn't get off. Says it's all about me....but I don't always get off either. It's VERY hard to make ME cum! Answer to ur question -- from my standpoint...... I'm used to it...however it can and has been a bad ego booster for me.
     
  8. Principessa

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    That sexual automaton thing is not cool. I'm not sure where men got the idea that it was a good thing to be able to fuck for 3+ hours straight without a break.

    It also makes a BIG difference if the guy tells you he may not be able to cum before you take your clothes off. I think I would be less likely to take it personally if I knew in advance. :yup:
     
  9. Ed69

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    Thank you for underatanding that point.:smile:Orgasm and ejaculation are seperate events that can happen at the same time but not always.Both feel great,so please relaxe ladys we've had fun even if it did not end in a sticky mess!:biggrin1:
     
  10. cklover

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    That's only happened once when I was with a guy who was on some kind of speed...those party drugs can really fuck up a sex session:mad: Otherwise, if I was with a guy who just enjoyed sucking me and wanted to save his own climax for later it would be fine with me. If I was the cocksucker, though, and he didn't come, I'd feel like I was a dud.:frown1:
     
  11. Symphonic

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    I support "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" on this issue. There's no particular reason to share whether I have or have not finished. It means nothing as long as she gets her jollies; I'll just go do something else anyway.
     
  12. teasedsilly

    teasedsilly Member

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    Wouldn't she know?

    I think men have gotten this bizarre and unfounded reputation of, he will cum unless there's something wrong with the girl. It's not true, and it isn't only unfair to the woman to believe this but it's unfair to the guy! Because then the girl is looking to him to prove her own worth by whether he cums or not! That's pressure no guy wants, and if he senses that you are fixating on his orgasm that's going to make it even tougher for him to do it.
     
  13. Ramsey

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    Strange, I've met a couple women who had a problem if I DID come...
     
  14. teasedsilly

    teasedsilly Member

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    Too soon?
     
  15. Ramsey

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    Well one girl was VERY tight and unless I got her really warmed up it would not be real long before I had to slow down, but even the sessions that lasted 20-30 minutes and then I came were an issue.
     
  16. D_Jerry_Atric

    D_Jerry_Atric Account Disabled

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    I'm fine with it.

    I've had sex with men who were on medications that prevented them from ejaculating.

    Or other times the guy was very tired and just couldn't cum. No I don't PNP or hang out or have sex with people who do use crystal meth.
     
    #16 D_Jerry_Atric, Aug 29, 2009
    Last edited: Aug 29, 2009
  17. Belly_Dancer

    Belly_Dancer Member

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    I've got to be honest here and say that even though I know this shouldn't bother me, it does.

    My husband/Master takes an extreme amount of stimulation to orgasm (so do I, but that's not what we're talking about here). Anyway, he doesn't come every time we have sex, and even after two years together I have not adjusted to this fact.

    No matter how much I try to tell myself it's not about me, it's not my fault, something in me still whispers that if my pussy was tighter, or if I was somehow more exciting, he would have come. He has told me this is absurd, and that my pussy is plenty stimulating. On the surface, I believe him. And yet, every time he doesn't come I feel a little crushed.

    Ego, anyone?
     
  18. HazelGod

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    That's been my experience as well...the handful of times it's happened before I was married, women have take it personally when I didn't come.

    I wouldn't chalk it up to ego, though...at least not entirely. A lot of men deal with exactly the same obstacle. We're conditioned to be goal-oriented in practically every aspect of our lives...everything has a beginning, middle, and end. After decades of such indoctrination, is it any surprise that our minds automatically apply the same paradigm to sex? Or that we feel somehow deficient if our "performances" deviate from that model?

    Hook-ups and one-night encounters are a study unto themselves...but the fact of the matter is that when you're in an ongoing relationship, it just won't happen all the time for all involved. And you're really cheating yourself and each other out of the full experience by viewing orgasm as the end-all be-all of any sexual encounter.
     
  19. Wish-4-8

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    Yeah, tell me about it. Imagine being the guy that cant. You almost start to envy the "minute men", or guys with premature ejaculation syndrome. Imagine feeling like you are the only guy in the world that cant. And its not because you are not turned on since your dick is rock hard the whole time.

    And then dealing with the fact that you just know that in some way shape or form, your partner is going to feel it was them.

    Ladies, would it help if the guy told you beforehand that this is an issue? Until I got over this thing, I would tell them that so that they are not stupidly waiting.
     
  20. Aplus

    Aplus New Member

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    I think a little might be ego, but mostly I think it's probably what most women have experienced. The general opinion from most women I've heard, seems to be that most men don't last "that" long or eventually can't hold back. And I do think that is true of most men, especially when they are younger.

    And I'm starting to learn that a lot of women actually like seeing or at least feeling the guy orgasm too. Much more than I ever would or could have ever thought before. Too say it's been a real eye-opener for me would be an understatement.

    I think the most intertesting thing for me, is the assumption that I must not like or have liked it because I didn't. In pretty much everycase I can say that was far from the truth, but I've had plenty try to convince me otherwise. I mean in most cases, I actually do feel the ejaculation, but just don't visually produce it. In some cases, I'd say the feeling is actually on another level, but for some, I guess the proof has to be seen or at least felt.
     
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