Are you the Madonna or Whore?

Discussion in 'Women's Issues' started by BunnyC, Jun 28, 2008.

  1. BunnyC

    BunnyC New Member

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    I have been in a long relationship, on and off. The longest we broke up was for about 6 months. During that time he was with a woman, that berated him about his penis size, and spent his money on her lifestyle with other men. In return, he was able to do anything sexuallly he wanted including a MFM, and FMF with others. Later he returned to me. As a requirement, I made him tell me all about the relationship. I became jealous and angry.

    I questioned why he never asked me for the same type of sex. His reply was, "You're a peach, and don't deserve it". He always treated me with kid gloves. No BJs, anal, or initializing sex for me. To him, it's a turnoff. His peach is not naughty. To me, he can be too straight laced and boring, at times.

    I believe this manchild, has a madonna / whore disorder. He is an Orthodox Christian, with crosses in every room. Including on me, an agnostic.

    Any other woman on this thread, ran across a man like this?

    How did you handle it?

    How can I convince him it's okay for me to be both?
     
  2. petergroot

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    I am not a girl, but sounds like this guy is an arsehole. Dump him.
    good luck
     
  3. D_Kay_Sarah_Sarah

    D_Kay_Sarah_Sarah Account Disabled

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    I agree petergroot . he's looking for excuses to justify himself. And its an on/off relationship so he obviously isn't that committed to you so why would you think you have to put up with being treated like shit so he can have his dirty little bit on the side?
     
  4. naughty

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    Workin' up a good pot of mad!
    Well,

    If he is an Orthodox Christian and you are an Agnostic, it sounds like you are what the good book refers to as "Unequally Yoked". It also sounds like he isnt practicing what he preaches, if he has either you or another woman in the artificial positions he has created for you. I have seen more alleged nice guys who thought they could slip around with more sexually adventurous girls get caught in their own web and end up married to the girl they thought they could use. OH WELL! Listen to your feelings and your heart about this one. If you are having problems like this perhaps he really isnt the one.

    Oh, and to answer your question, I am the former not the later! LOL!
     
  5. dreamer20

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    From what you have described he possibly could be a Hindu, or a member of some sex cult, but not an orthodox Christian BunnyC. His polyamorous activities made you quote " jealous and angry" and thus he felt that you'd prefer to be monogamous. If you seriously want to be a swinger too you will have to control your jealousy and temper. Assert yourself and tell him you want an open relationship and to spice up your sex life.
     
  6. Mr. Snakey

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    A christian and a agnostic. Its like oil and vinegar. He may try to perform a exorcism. Hang garlic in every room.
     
    #6 Mr. Snakey, Jun 28, 2008
    Last edited: Jun 28, 2008
  7. Principessa

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    #7 Principessa, Jun 28, 2008
    Last edited: Jun 28, 2008
  8. D_Tinker Ball

    D_Tinker Ball New Member

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    Dump him is not enough.

    Sabotage the car. :biggrin1:
     
  9. Principessa

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    :confused: Why should she sabotage his car? She asked for the truth, and he told her the truth. The fact she can't handle the truth is not his fault.
     
  10. B_Mademoiselle Rouge

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    I don't think i'm either. I am pretty sure my husband doesnt see me on either end of the spectrum. I'm just the woman he married. Good with the bad.
     
  11. Salty Jack

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    Bunny,

    It's clear your man has issues with sex being dirty. If it bothers you a lot, and adventurous sex is a need for you, then he's going to need to work on this for you. If not, then you'll have to put up with it as long as you are with him.

    My best wishes for your fulfillment.

    Jack
     
  12. D_Ivana Dickenside

    D_Ivana Dickenside New Member

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    bunny, it sounds like your guy is a totally repressed hypocrite. dump his ass. you're too good for him.
     
  13. B_Mademoiselle Rouge

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    The best way to deal with men like this is to buy a huge strap on and fuck his ass into next week.
     
  14. B_JasonDawgxxx

    B_JasonDawgxxx New Member

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  15. ManlyBanisters

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    ^ But you're not a woman, sweety, so you can only be the latter. Madonna requirement, one womb :wink:

    A lot of men suffer from this complex to some degree or other. My experience has been that they want you to be a madonna til you get to them, then find your 'inner whore'. This sounds like a rather extreme case because he needs to live out the whore fantasy with another woman. Maybe he's over that now. In reality, of course, we are all in the middle ground, men and women - we are human beings with physical and emotional needs and it is far more complex than the polar extremes, in fact it isn't even linear.

    I wouldn't be so quick to say 'dumb the fucker' because you haven't given us that much detail - but the way you phrase the OP you sound like you want to be told to dump him. You call him a 'manchild', you represent him as forcing his religion on you, you tell us of his 'indiscretions' while you were apart but not your own (maybe there were none). I don't have infinite time for Sartre but I do agree with him when it come to responsibility; each of us is responsible for everything we do. If we seek advice from others, we choose our advisor and have some idea of the course he or she will recommend. "I am responsible for my very desire of fleeing responsibilities".

    So my advice is this, if you want to dump him, dump him. It sounds like you do and you need the conviction of others to help you. If I'm wrong about that and you can't live without him then 100% honesty is the only way forward. Tell him exactly what you are, exactly what you like and don't like. Explain to him that you have needs and those needs have to be met for a successful relationship to grow.
     
    #15 ManlyBanisters, Jun 29, 2008
    Last edited: Jun 29, 2008
  16. D_Kay_Sarah_Sarah

    D_Kay_Sarah_Sarah Account Disabled

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    I couldn't agree more. Give him a taste of what its really like to be fucked over




    And then dump his ass :wink:
     
  17. BunnyC

    BunnyC New Member

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    I am a blood donor, and swinging disqualifies you from giving blood. You become a high risk.

    So I don't want to be a swinger, but I want an him to stop acting like I am an angel and other 'low class' women are devils. I am curious about the lifestyle. I was brought up in a sheltered enviornment. I really thought it was just fanasty of men, not a reality.

    He once told me that he doesn't have to pay for repairs on whores. And I have too many relatives, that want a reason, to hurt him.

    The statement made me think differently about him.
     
  18. SandraSmithCarver

    SandraSmithCarver New Member

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    Im a lady in the streets and a freak in the sheets, , so I'm both, its been my experince that some men that are insecure have issues about it. they think women shouldn't enjoy sex for some reason, and are threatened by a woman that does-I call them "Losers"
     
  19. Not_Punny

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    Try imagining that you have kids with this person.

    How the hell are you ever going to agree on subjects such as going to church (or not), sex education, length of skirts (and make up) for girl-kids, etc., etc.

    You'd be sooooo different there'd never be any peace (or piece-of-ass) in your hypothetically kid-filled home.

    But if you LIKE to have wuss-sex and totally opposite core-beliefs and values, then go for it.
     
  20. EagleCowboy

    EagleCowboy Well-Known Member

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    ROFLMAO!!!
     
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