Are you the Madonna or Whore?

BunnyC

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I have been in a long relationship, on and off. The longest we broke up was for about 6 months. During that time he was with a woman, that berated him about his penis size, and spent his money on her lifestyle with other men. In return, he was able to do anything sexuallly he wanted including a MFM, and FMF with others. Later he returned to me. As a requirement, I made him tell me all about the relationship. I became jealous and angry.

I questioned why he never asked me for the same type of sex. His reply was, "You're a peach, and don't deserve it". He always treated me with kid gloves. No BJs, anal, or initializing sex for me. To him, it's a turnoff. His peach is not naughty. To me, he can be too straight laced and boring, at times.

I believe this manchild, has a madonna / whore disorder. He is an Orthodox Christian, with crosses in every room. Including on me, an agnostic.

Any other woman on this thread, ran across a man like this?

How did you handle it?

How can I convince him it's okay for me to be both?
 

D_Kay_Sarah_Sarah

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I agree petergroot . he's looking for excuses to justify himself. And its an on/off relationship so he obviously isn't that committed to you so why would you think you have to put up with being treated like shit so he can have his dirty little bit on the side?
 

naughty

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Well,

If he is an Orthodox Christian and you are an Agnostic, it sounds like you are what the good book refers to as "Unequally Yoked". It also sounds like he isnt practicing what he preaches, if he has either you or another woman in the artificial positions he has created for you. I have seen more alleged nice guys who thought they could slip around with more sexually adventurous girls get caught in their own web and end up married to the girl they thought they could use. OH WELL! Listen to your feelings and your heart about this one. If you are having problems like this perhaps he really isnt the one.

Oh, and to answer your question, I am the former not the later! LOL!
 

dreamer20

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I have been on and off in a relationship. ... we broke up for 6 months... he was with a woman, that spent his money on her lifestyle with other men + he was able to do anything sexual he wanted including a MFM, and FMF. Later he returned to me. As a requirement, I made him tell me all about the relationship. I became jealous and angry.

I questioned why he never asked me for the same type of sex. His reply was, "You're a peach, and don't deserve it". His peach is not naughty. To me, he can be too straight laced and boring, at times.

I believe this manchild, has a madonna / whore disorder. He is an Orthodox Christian, with crosses in every room. Including on me, an agnostic.

How can I convince him it's okay for me to be both?


From what you have described he possibly could be a Hindu, or a member of some sex cult, but not an orthodox Christian BunnyC. His polyamorous activities made you quote " jealous and angry" and thus he felt that you'd prefer to be monogamous. If you seriously want to be a swinger too you will have to control your jealousy and temper. Assert yourself and tell him you want an open relationship and to spice up your sex life.
 

Mr. Snakey

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I have been in a long relationship, on and off. The longest we broke up was for about 6 months. During that time he was with a woman, that berated him about his penis size, and spent his money on her lifestyle with other men. In return, he was able to do anything sexuallly he wanted including a MFM, and FMF with others. Later he returned to me. As a requirement, I made him tell me all about the relationship. I became jealous and angry.

I questioned why he never asked me for the same type of sex. His reply was, "You're a peach, and don't deserve it". He always treated me with kid gloves. No BJs, anal, or initializing sex for me. To him, it's a turnoff. His peach is not naughty. To me, he can be too straight laced and boring, at times.

I believe this manchild, has a madonna / whore disorder. He is an Orthodox Christian, with crosses in every room. Including on me, an agnostic.

Any other woman on this thread, ran across a man like this?

How did you handle it?

How can I convince him it's okay for me to be both?
A christian and a agnostic. Its like oil and vinegar. He may try to perform a exorcism. Hang garlic in every room.
 
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Principessa

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I have been in a long relationship, on and off. The longest we broke up was for about 6 months. During that time he was with a woman, that berated him about his penis size, and spent his money on her lifestyle with other men. In return, he was able to do anything sexually he wanted including a MFM, and FMF with others. Later he returned to me. As a requirement, I made him tell me all about the relationship. I became jealous and angry.
:rofl: Why in the name of all that's holy would you insist on knowing all the sex he had w/o you?!?! :wtf2: You knew you wouldn't like it and clearly you are not the swinging type or you would have done that by now. Why are you even with this loser?

You were on a break!! What he did or didn't do is none of your damned business. I would make sure he got tested before having sex with him again though.


I questioned why he never asked me for the same type of sex. His reply was, "You're a peach, and don't deserve it". He always treated me with kid gloves. No BJs, anal, or initializing sex for me. To him, it's a turnoff. His peach is not naughty. To me, he can be too straight laced and boring, at times.

I believe this manchild, has a madonna / whore disorder. He is an Orthodox Christian, with crosses in every room. Including on me, an agnostic.

Any other woman on this thread, ran across a man like this?

Your bf is a bisexual manwhore. Dump him! If he really is a Christian he isn't ever going to be serious about an agnostic such as yourself. Dump him, he cannot be fixed, run far and fast!

Not exactly, I dated a devout Catholic who was so fucked up by his family and the church he went to confession every week and confessed me as his sin! :eek::mad: He also refused to buy condoms because that showed intent to have premarital sex. :rolleyes: Which is of course a sin. So I was the one who had to buy them. :mad:

How did you handle it?
I don't remember. I do know it took me about 6 years to get him to realize sex could be just for pleasure and not procreation.

How can I convince him it's okay for me to be both.
You can't, he's a jackass. dump him and move on to somebody with a functioning brain.

I am not a girl, but sounds like this guy is an arsehole. Dump him.
good luck
QFT!!
 
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Salty Jack

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Bunny,

It's clear your man has issues with sex being dirty. If it bothers you a lot, and adventurous sex is a need for you, then he's going to need to work on this for you. If not, then you'll have to put up with it as long as you are with him.

My best wishes for your fulfillment.

Jack
 

ManlyBanisters

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^ But you're not a woman, sweety, so you can only be the latter. Madonna requirement, one womb :wink:

A lot of men suffer from this complex to some degree or other. My experience has been that they want you to be a madonna til you get to them, then find your 'inner whore'. This sounds like a rather extreme case because he needs to live out the whore fantasy with another woman. Maybe he's over that now. In reality, of course, we are all in the middle ground, men and women - we are human beings with physical and emotional needs and it is far more complex than the polar extremes, in fact it isn't even linear.

I wouldn't be so quick to say 'dumb the fucker' because you haven't given us that much detail - but the way you phrase the OP you sound like you want to be told to dump him. You call him a 'manchild', you represent him as forcing his religion on you, you tell us of his 'indiscretions' while you were apart but not your own (maybe there were none). I don't have infinite time for Sartre but I do agree with him when it come to responsibility; each of us is responsible for everything we do. If we seek advice from others, we choose our advisor and have some idea of the course he or she will recommend. "I am responsible for my very desire of fleeing responsibilities".

So my advice is this, if you want to dump him, dump him. It sounds like you do and you need the conviction of others to help you. If I'm wrong about that and you can't live without him then 100% honesty is the only way forward. Tell him exactly what you are, exactly what you like and don't like. Explain to him that you have needs and those needs have to be met for a successful relationship to grow.
 
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BunnyC

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I am a blood donor, and swinging disqualifies you from giving blood. You become a high risk.

So I don't want to be a swinger, but I want an him to stop acting like I am an angel and other 'low class' women are devils. I am curious about the lifestyle. I was brought up in a sheltered enviornment. I really thought it was just fanasty of men, not a reality.

He once told me that he doesn't have to pay for repairs on whores. And I have too many relatives, that want a reason, to hurt him.

The statement made me think differently about him.
 

SandraSmithCarver

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Im a lady in the streets and a freak in the sheets, , so I'm both, its been my experince that some men that are insecure have issues about it. they think women shouldn't enjoy sex for some reason, and are threatened by a woman that does-I call them "Losers"
 

Not_Punny

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Try imagining that you have kids with this person.

How the hell are you ever going to agree on subjects such as going to church (or not), sex education, length of skirts (and make up) for girl-kids, etc., etc.

You'd be sooooo different there'd never be any peace (or piece-of-ass) in your hypothetically kid-filled home.

But if you LIKE to have wuss-sex and totally opposite core-beliefs and values, then go for it.