Are your first impressions of people usually correct?

Discussion in 'Et Cetera, Et Cetera' started by earllogjam, Sep 5, 2008.

  1. earllogjam

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Aug 15, 2006
    Messages:
    5,027
    Likes Received:
    21
    It's curious how people when meeting others for the first time can take an instant shine to a person and just know that they could be friends and that they just feel comfortable around a person. And conversely people who we loath from the very start and have an instant dislike for a person.

    How accurate have your first impressions been of people?
     
  2. SpeedoGuy

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    May 18, 2004
    Messages:
    4,229
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    10
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Pacific Northwest, USA
    Usually correct.

    I endeavor to give people the benefit of the doubt and not judge too rapidly but, truth be known, its uncanny how often my first impressions have proven correct.
     
  3. k3_logan

    k3_logan New Member

    Joined:
    Nov 12, 2006
    Messages:
    8
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    USA
    I would like to think that I have a good first impression radar. But have been both right and wrong. I think I am more likely to be trusting and want to like people. Wrong lots of times. I guess what I am getting at is that I have no fucking clue. If anybody has any pointers...
     
  4. Principessa

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Nov 22, 2006
    Messages:
    19,494
    Likes Received:
    28
    Gender:
    Female

    I am very intuitive and my first impressions are correct 98% of the time. :cool:
     
  5. Hand_Solo

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    May 21, 2007
    Messages:
    2,355
    Likes Received:
    10
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Thela Hun Ginjeet
    Mostly but not always.
     
  6. ManlyBanisters

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Mar 19, 2007
    Messages:
    12,807
    Likes Received:
    8
    There are very few people I instantly dislike. Somebody has to do something I find objectionable for me to dislike them. Also, other people's actions rarely hurt me and cause me to dislike them unless I have already taken them as a friend.

    Sometimes socio-political opinions I find distasteful will cause me to dislike a person from the get go, but I'll listen and see what way they express those opinions and if they are willing to moderate to keep from causing offence. But that's not really a first impression thing - because I suspend judgement.

    In situations where I am meeting new people I try to be friendly and inclusive of everybody - I tend to get on better with people who are the same. But I don't take against those who are not - maybe they are shy and need to be encouraged more.

    In short, I try very hard not to form first impressions, or leastways not quickly. Maybe that is because when I do i'm wrong. I really can't remember.

    I do however watch how my dog responds to people - if he doesn't like them I am far more wary than if he does.
     
    #6 ManlyBanisters, Sep 5, 2008
    Last edited: Sep 5, 2008
  7. vince

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    May 13, 2007
    Messages:
    14,785
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    539
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Asia
    I've learned to trust my first impressions. My radar for BS artists has always been very good and it seems to be improving.

    I am a little more wary of "good" people than I should be at times. With some people, I hit it off with immediately, but with others I reserve judgment until I get to know them better.

    Living in a culture where I am not a native speaker, has really honed my ability to decide who is trustable and who to stay away from.
     
  8. got_lost

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    May 13, 2007
    Messages:
    2,022
    Likes Received:
    3
    Generally my first impressions are right, though I can be a little naive and too trusting and therefore have been too generous with someone who is a two-faced back-stabbing turd.


    My biggest surprise, and one I have quoted since, is when I met someone last year who I really didn't get on with (which is pretty rare for me) but who now is a very close friend!

    My first impression of her was very negative and she got on my nerves all day and we rubbed eachother up the wrong way. I wonder if it was just that we are both strong willed, ambitious women and, in fact, are pretty similar.

    Anyway, I have used this situation several times since to show that first impressions aren't always right. Even when you have a good track record of getting it right most of the time.

    I nearly missed out on a friend who I now value very very highly. :rolleyes: :smile:
     
  9. B_dumbcow

    B_dumbcow New Member

    Joined:
    Jan 3, 2008
    Messages:
    3,220
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    1
    Terrible. I think of everyone as lovely, interesting and amazing people when I first meet them, no matter how they come across at first sight. Often that image dwindles.
     
  10. nudeyorker

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Nov 6, 2006
    Messages:
    42,918
    Likes Received:
    37
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    NYC/Honolulu
    Mine are 99.9% on target
     
  11. killerb

    Verified Gold Member

    Joined:
    Nov 13, 2007
    Messages:
    2,102
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    47
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    USA
    Verified:
    Photo

    same for me...

    however there was one occasion when this girl I had pegged to be a snotty bitch turned out to be one of the coolest chicks ever once I got to know her...
     
  12. nudeyorker

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Nov 6, 2006
    Messages:
    42,918
    Likes Received:
    37
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    NYC/Honolulu
    However, I've been told I give the worlds worst first impression. I have been told since High School that I come off as cold and distant (Which could not be further from who I really am) until people get to know me. I tend to be somewhat reserved until I get a handle on where people are coming from...Any thoughts from the LPSG members I have met?
     
  13. Pecker

    Pecker Retired Moderator
    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Mar 5, 2002
    Messages:
    83,922
    Likes Received:
    34
    I'm a terrible judge of character based on first impressions. I tend to see most people in a favorable light and am often surprised or disappointed to find how far off I can be.
     
  14. Hippie Hollow Girl

    Verified Gold Member

    Joined:
    Apr 23, 2006
    Messages:
    613
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    21
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    Austin Texas
    Verified:
    Photo
    My first impression / radar doesn't always work 100%.

    There have been many times when I meet someone and because of the way they look.....or their mannerisms.....the thought crosses my head that they are probably "stuck up" or self serving. And I find out later that my first impression was totally off the mark.

    Then I have met people that my first impression was that they would be my life long bosom buddy......and they turned out to be backstabbing snakes.....or "user type people".

    So, I don't put a lot of stock in first impressions. I listen to what people say and I take them at their word. If their words don't add up.....then I don't have anything to do with that person.
     
  15. whatireallywant

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Jun 4, 2007
    Messages:
    3,587
    Likes Received:
    7
    Gender:
    Female
    If I have really STRONG impressions of people, then that is always right. It's when I hae a weaker impression that I can be wrong (usually negatively... I tend to think they're ok people, but then they sometimes wind up stabbing me in the back.)

    I have two stories about times I've had a very, very strong impression of people.

    The first was a guy I took an immediate dislike to, very strong dislike. He was also both gay and a "little person", so I was afraid I was being prejudiced! I had dealt just fine with gays in the past though, so I didn't think that was it, and I'd had very little experience with little people. I was STILL afraid that I was being prejudiced about this guy. Then a couple months later I found out that he had been imprisoned for raping a 12 year old boy. It was the fact that he was a child molester that I was picking up on in my first impression, NOT anything to do with being gay or a little person!

    The second was a guy who I practically fell in love with at first sight. I later found out that he shared my political views, which was VERY rare where I come from! And that he shared my weird eclectic tastes in music, scientific interests, didn't want kids, liked cats, and even liked to cook! (I like a guy who likes to cook because I hate to cook! Someone has to prepare the meals, right? :biggrin1:). Unfortunately for me, he was already happily married to someone else. I hadn't met someone who I had so much in common with before, and haven't met one since. (And I even heard hearsay that he was very well endowed, too! Talk about adding insult to injury for me!)
     
  16. cockoloco

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    May 26, 2008
    Messages:
    2,766
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    I am mostly right, and sometimes I'm afraid of being too 'selective' but in the end my intuition was mainly right.

    However, I try to give a chance to know a little bit more of a person even if the first impression is bad. You just never know.
     
  17. B_Think_Kink

    B_Think_Kink New Member

    Joined:
    Oct 25, 2006
    Messages:
    10,742
    Likes Received:
    17
    Gender:
    Female
    Mine are usually very accurate. I observe people in an odd sort of way.
     
  18. jason_els

    jason_els <img border="0" src="/images/badges/gold_member.gi

    Joined:
    Dec 16, 2004
    Messages:
    10,576
    Likes Received:
    25
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Warwick, NY, USA
    It depends. I tend to think the best of people unless they do something right off that makes me doubt that. So no, I'm not always accurate. I think that as I get older I tend to pigeonhole and classify people far less quickly. I'm more apt to put my opinion on hold for a while. On occasion I will immediately identify with and seem to know someone far better than I should. I don't know what to make of that.
     
  19. Rikter8

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Jun 30, 2005
    Messages:
    4,488
    Albums:
    3
    Likes Received:
    51
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    MI
    Mine I'll say are about 95-98% right.

    I'm a good judge of character.

    Usually I can judge the book by its cover.
     
  20. naughty

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    May 21, 2004
    Messages:
    12,837
    Likes Received:
    14
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    Workin&#039; up a good pot of mad!
    Generally, I am on target. What gets me in trouble is then second guessing myself and giving people the benefit of the doubt. NOT!
     
Draft saved Draft deleted