Arousal level affects vaginal msucles

HiddenLacey

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Ok, so I debated over this. Over talking about this at all. Where to talk about it. If I should make my own thread or post it on an already written thread. I'll try here and see if some of the women here will read this and talk about it with me.

There seem to be a lot of threads about looseness, tenting, dear me :rolleyes: HUGE vaginas...

So I want to talk about something and see if any women have experienced anything similiar.

When I'm having sexual intercourse and it feels GREAT, ladies you know what I mean, that amazing sensation where your eyes kind of water and you just want to keep feeling it? Not that you are right at orgasm, but the way you feel before hand when you are extremely aroused?

Ok, during this I tend to relax my vaginal muscles. It seems to increase the sensation for me. Sometimes I even bare down or kind of push outward with my muscles instead of clenching inward.

Does anyone else feel this way? Is this something that is unique to me? I've just noticed that a lot of men and women seem to talk about clenching those muscles to get better sensation, where I seem to like it more when I feel relaxed and open.

It may be completely ridiculous to even think about such a thing, but I wonder if it doesn't feel as nice to my partner when I do that. But the sensation is different when I clench versus doing it the other way. I never orgasm clenching those muscles. Of course when I do orgasm I have the involuntary clenching, but... does this make sense to anyone?

I would like some of the ladies to share their thoughts with me on this matter please. Before someone says to ask my partner, I am not engaging in sexual activity with anyone at this time.
 
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B_subgirrl

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When I'm having sexual intercourse and it feels GREAT, ladies you know what I mean, that amazing sensation where your eyes kind of water and you just want to keep feeling it? Not that you are right at orgasm, but the way you feel before hand when you are extremely aroused?

Ok, during this I tend to relax my vaginal muscles. It seems to increase the sensation for me. Sometimes I even bare down or kind of push outward with my muscles instead of clenching inward.

Does anyone else feel this way? Is this something that is unique to me? I've just noticed that a lot of men and women seem to talk about clenching those muscles to get better sensation, where I seem to like it more when I feel relaxed and open.

I definitely don't relax. I THINK I sort of push inwards (outwards? towards the middle anyway and definitely not downwards - I didn't even know I could do that until a few months ago :redface:). But maybe I clench? And maybe it's different with different kinds of orgasms, or with toys vs humans? I will check it out and get back to you.
 

HiddenLacey

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I definitely don't relax. I THINK I sort of push inwards (outwards? towards the middle anyway and definitely not downwards - I didn't even know I could do that until a few months ago :redface:). But maybe I clench? And maybe it's different with different kinds of orgasms, or with toys vs humans? I will check it out and get back to you.

No, I do the same thing with toys. I've tried the clenching thing with a toy, I would never have an orgasm that way. I don't know if I've just trained my body to like it this way? But I definitely kind of relax and maybe bare down... I can't think of a word to describe it. It's total sexual bliss for me, almost like I completely open up. My muscles don't go lax, but I'm sure the "grip" or whatever you wish to call it changes.

To be perfectly honest, I stopped doing it during sex, fearing things wouldn't feel as nice for the person I was having sex with.
 
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Ok, so I debated over this. Over talking about this at all. Where to talk about it. If I should make my own thread or post it on an already written thread. I'll try here and see if some of the women here will read this and talk about it with me.

This is probably one of the best posts I've come across in the last few months, I'm shocked more women aren't responding. Obviously, I can't answer being that I don't have the parts, but I have a few comments and questions...

There seem to be a lot of threads about looseness, tenting, dear me :rolleyes: HUGE vaginas...

That's partially my fault, I love discussing the loveliness of a tight vagina without really expanding on the plusses of a relaxed vagina (I hate the term loose).

When I'm having sexual intercourse and it feels GREAT, ladies you know what I mean, that amazing sensation where your eyes kind of water and you just want to keep feeling it? Not that you are right at orgasm, but the way you feel before hand when you are extremely aroused?

Amazing description, by the way.

Ok, during this I tend to relax my vaginal muscles. It seems to increase the sensation for me.

This is what I'm trying to wrap my brain around. See, in my mind, there are two types of tight vaginas. The first is one that's naturally small, as in it's the actual build of the body that makes it small, and the other is that, because of the muscular tone, it's tight through an unconscious amount of flexing.

That it can be relaxed, for my wife anyway, seems to need a conscious "effortlessness". Not sure if that makes sense, but for me, in order for an erection to take place, I need to relax. If I flex my PC muscle, I can't induce an erection (god, I wish it were that easy). Anyway, when my cock is fully engorged with blood, flexing makes it stiffer. Sort of like closing a balloon off at a point a few inches above the valve makes it bigger because the same amount of air has to occupy less space. The flexing to me feels like a "rolling up" behind my cock to trap and push the blood forward.

Anyway, when having sex, I naturally flex most of the time, just to get that extra "oomph" against the tightness. BUT if I relax, and I'm in the right frame of mind, I can feel more blood coming in and the contact with her vagina become so much more intimate. It's like sipping wine and closing your eyes so you can dull one sense in order to heighten another.

Sometimes I even bare down or kind of push outward with my muscles instead of clenching inward.

I've used the term "reverse kegel" to describe this. Yes, it does intensify the relaxation in my cock, never realized it did the same thing for your vagina. I do this mostly when I ejaculate though as it seems to give me a more complete expulsion of semen.

submissivegirl83 said:
Does anyone else feel this way? Is this something that is unique to me?

Put it this way, I've always wondered about this from a guy's perspective too. I should post something similar in another sub forum so as to not clutter up this one.

submissivegirl83 said:
I've just noticed that a lot of men and women seem to talk about clenching those muscles to get better sensation, where I seem to like it more when I feel relaxed and open.

Which brings me to another point I wanted to make. I find if my wife is at her naturally tight state, the feeling is phenomenal. When we make love, we can usually go for about 45 minutes before she starts getting sore. It's more often than not centered around her inner vaginal walls from the muscle soreness.

When we've had a few drinks, she's a lot more relaxed down there and I find I can go in deeper and we can go at it even longer. It's a llot more effortless sex since the "fight" to keep from cumming and the resistance to my strokes is markedly less. What heightens it even more is that it's easier to feel the texture inside her when she's relaxed because it isn't so intense. Like lightly touching your arm with your fingers make you more aware of the touch than just grabbing.

When I masturbate, I generally leave my grip fairly loose that way I can feel the texture rather than the pressure. Same idea.

submissivegirl83 said:
It may be completely ridiculous to even think about such a thing, but I wonder if it doesn't feel as nice to my partner when I do that.

YES!!!

submissivegirl83 said:
But the sensation is different when I clench versus doing it the other way. I never orgasm clenching those muscles. Of course when I do orgasm I have the involuntary clenching, but... does this make sense to anyone?

Again, exactly what happens to me, from a male perspective... When I reach the "perma-hard" mode I find it impossible to cum because "it" won't relax. It's in a permanent flex so to speak. In order for me to cum, I need to slow down, float, close my eyes, feel the warmth, hear my wife's breathing, keep pace, keep in tune with my surroundings and then, and only then, something inside me unzips and then I can cum. Like you, it then goes through spasms all on its own when I start ejaculating. Sort of like a firehose with no one manning the nozzle.

submissivegirl83 said:
I would like some of the ladies to share their thoughts with me on this matter please. Before someone says to ask my partner, I am not engaging in sexual activity with anyone at this time.

I hope my response doesn't pollute the purity of your intention. I just found it very revealing in that I always thought it was a guy thing. Never realized there was a counterpart.
 
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HiddenLacey

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I hope my response doesn't pollute the purity of your intention. I just found it very revealing in that I always thought it was a guy thing. Never realized there was a counterpart.

Not at all, thank you for replying. I think maybe this is just something unique to me. Like I said I debated on even talking about it here. :smile:

I guess I've never thought about whether or not a guy relaxed those muscles or tensed them during sex since we are made differently. Thank you for sharing your perspective on this.
 

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Not at all, thank you for replying. I think maybe this is just something unique to me. Like I said I debated on even talking about it here. :smile:

I have a rule to avoid answering posts asking women to respond from a woman's point of view, but there seemed to have been an unusual lack of female responses (except subgirrl of course).

As to the uniqueness, I believe it's just that a select few people pay as much attention to what's going on down there as you and I do. It's neither a gift nor a curse, it just is. I think the more I notice, the more I enjoy it.

I guess I've never thought about whether or not a guy relaxed those muscles or tensed them during sex since we are made differently. Thank you for sharing your perspective on this.

You are welcome.
 

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I definitely don't relax. I THINK I sort of push inwards (outwards? towards the middle anyway and definitely not downwards - I didn't even know I could do that until a few months ago :redface:). But maybe I clench? And maybe it's different with different kinds of orgasms, or with toys vs humans? I will check it out and get back to you.

OK, so an update. I have a spot on the back wall, about 5.5 - 6 inches in (the main source of most of my non-deep-spot vaginal orgasms) and apparently I push inwards against the toy with that part of my vagina. There's no bearing down at all though. Really it's like clenching, but only with the upper muscles - the lower ones aren't involved at all.


No, I do the same thing with toys. I've tried the clenching thing with a toy, I would never have an orgasm that way. I don't know if I've just trained my body to like it this way? But I definitely kind of relax and maybe bare down... I can't think of a word to describe it. It's total sexual bliss for me, almost like I completely open up. My muscles don't go lax, but I'm sure the "grip" or whatever you wish to call it changes.

I couldn't possibly have an orgasm by relaxing! That would disappear all the sensations for me!

I'm finding it interesting that we experience it so differently and wondering where others stand on the matter.


To be perfectly honest, I stopped doing it during sex, fearing things wouldn't feel as nice for the person I was having sex with.
But that's so sad :frown1:. Doesn't that mean you wouldn't get to orgasm during sex? I'm sure most partners would rather that you had an orgasm during sex, even if you were the only person in the world who did the relaxy thing.


This is what I'm trying to wrap my brain around. See, in my mind, there are two types of tight vaginas. The first is one that's naturally small, as in it's the actual build of the body that makes it small, and the other is that, because of the muscular tone, it's tight through an unconscious amount of flexing.

This makes sense to me, although you should probably add conscious flexing onto your description.


That it can be relaxed, for my wife anyway, seems to need a conscious "effortlessness". Not sure if that makes sense, but for me, in order for an erection to take place, I need to relax.
Like MrsR, I can only relax consciously. And relaxing during the 'it feels great' phase, would completely kill any chance of orgasm. To orgasm I need to push myself over the edge (physically and mentally - not that it takes much effort sometimes).


Anyway, when having sex, I naturally flex most of the time, just to get that extra "oomph" against the tightness. BUT if I relax, and I'm in the right frame of mind, I can feel more blood coming in and the contact with her vagina become so much more intimate. It's like sipping wine and closing your eyes so you can dull one sense in order to heighten another.
Beautiful description!


When we've had a few drinks, she's a lot more relaxed down there and I find I can go in deeper and we can go at it even longer.
I don't know about being able to go deeper, but apparently I'm impossible when I'm drunk. I just don't show any signs of being even partially satiated. For me, the alcohol helps me be in the floaty place, and for MrsR the relaxing properties seem to be important. But maybe the reduced bodily sensations (ie. pain and pleasure dulling properties) are affecting both of us, and helping us go for longer?


It's a llot more effortless sex since the "fight" to keep from cumming and the resistance to my strokes is markedly less.
Maybe this is a silly question, but why would she be fighting to keep from cumming? Does she get sore quicker with more orgasms?
 

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To be perfectly honest, I stopped doing it during sex, fearing things wouldn't feel as nice for the person I was having sex with.
Hypothetically speaking, if the guy had the girth to make it a tight fit when you relaxed, would the emotional component of being guilt free (as in you didn't have to clench to make him feel good) enhance the experience?

It is a stupid question, but I ask more to see the why's of your answer.
 

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I couldn't possibly have an orgasm by relaxing! That would disappear all the sensations for me!

I'm finding it interesting that we experience it so differently and wondering where others stand on the matter.

Ok, I don't mean whole body relax like I'm having a massage or something. It's not all the time either. I know I clench in certain positions or when I'm doing most of the work. This is different, it seems as though this is mainly when I'm on my back and sometimes if I'm on top and I've had an orgasm already, maybe it's some sort of weird g-spot stimulation orgasm for me? I just can't seem to find the words to describe it, maybe relax isn't right. But it feels amazing and I don't want to tighten those muscles at all I just want to feel it, clenching actually distracts from the sensation and I have to stop myself from doing it.

But that's so sad :frown1:. Doesn't that mean you wouldn't get to orgasm during sex? I'm sure most partners would rather that you had an orgasm during sex, even if you were the only person in the world who did the relaxy thing.

No it's not an all the time thing. It's just sometimes.
 
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HiddenLacey

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Hypothetically speaking, if the guy had the girth to make it a tight fit when you relaxed, would the emotional component of being guilt free (as in you didn't have to clench to make him feel good) enhance the experience?

It is a stupid question, but I ask more to see the why's of your answer.

I can still feel the girth perfectly without tightening those muscles.
 

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I gotta say, the most confusing part of my own first sexual relationship (not really very much of a relationship, but denial can stave off a lot of realizations for a long time) is that I am so orgasmic that I didn't understand that having one didn't equal retroactive consent.

To be clearer, what I meant was that even if he managed to work a lot of cum and orgasms out of me, he still drugged me to get me into bed, and held against me things I said while drugged to get the "relationship" on track. I just mention this because of the "relaxed orgasm" thing. Even while passed out from being dosed with GHB, I can apparently still orgasm.

I guess even smart girls can be stupid sometimes
 
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RawDog

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This makes sense to me, although you should probably add conscious flexing onto your description.

Conscious flexing too. Of course, silly of me.

Like MrsR, I can only relax consciously. And relaxing during the 'it feels great' phase, would completely kill any chance of orgasm. To orgasm I need to push myself over the edge (physically and mentally - not that it takes much effort sometimes).

What would happen if you just relaxed? No orgasm whatsoever?

I don't know about being able to go deeper, but apparently I'm impossible when I'm drunk. I just don't show any signs of being even partially satiated. For me, the alcohol helps me be in the floaty place, and for MrsR the relaxing properties seem to be important. But maybe the reduced bodily sensations (ie. pain and pleasure dulling properties) are affecting both of us, and helping us go for longer?

Good questions. Not sure how to answer, but I'll pay more attention next time.

Maybe this is a silly question, but why would she be fighting to keep from cumming? Does she get sore quicker with more orgasms?

No, I meant "Me" fighting from cumming. If this is my first orgasm for the day, I blow it in less than 15 minutes unless I fight it off.

I can still feel the girth perfectly without tightening those muscles.

Ok, gotcha.

I just mention this because of the "relaxed orgasm" thing. Even while passed out from being dosed with GHB, I can apparently still orgasm.

I'm truly sorry for what happened to you, and forgive me if this question is over stepping boundaries, but I am curious. If you were passed out, how did you know you had orgasms?
 
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I'm truly sorry for what happened to you, and forgive me if this question is over stepping boundaries, but I am curious. If you were passed out, how did you know you had orgasms?

I felt sore the way I do when I come a whole lot. And I had a lot of my own cum in a pool between my legs.

I wouldn't offer the information if I weren't going to answer real questions about it.
 

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I felt sore the way I do when I come a whole lot. And I had a lot of my own cum in a pool between my legs.

Ok, that makes sense. I just never realized orgasm muscle aches existed. MrsR gets muscle sores inside, but she always assumed it was from all the fucking. Or more specifically, all the pounding from my dick inside her. But she guesses it could be her muscles are sore from all the spasming too.

I wouldn't offer the information if I weren't going to answer real questions about it.

I realize you wouldn't be volunteering information if you didn't want to talk about it, I just don't want to seem like I'm exploiting what happened to you. (It's an Asian thing, just go with it.)
 

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Ok, so I debated over this. Over talking about this at all. Where to talk about it. If I should make my own thread or post it on an already written thread. I'll try here and see if some of the women here will read this and talk about it with me.

There seem to be a lot of threads about looseness, tenting, dear me :rolleyes: HUGE vaginas...

So I want to talk about something and see if any women have experienced anything similiar.

I just noticed this post! Sorry I'm coming in late.

When I'm having sexual intercourse and it feels GREAT, ladies you know what I mean, that amazing sensation where your eyes kind of water and you just want to keep feeling it? Not that you are right at orgasm, but the way you feel before hand when you are extremely aroused?

I love that feeling. I could stay there forever.

Ok, during this I tend to relax my vaginal muscles. It seems to increase the sensation for me. Sometimes I even bare down or kind of push outward with my muscles instead of clenching inward.

Do you mean like you're pushing a ben-wa ball out of your vagina? I haven't done that in a very long time and I don't think I've ever done it with TheBF. Honestly, I've been afraid that it might "shorten" me and I'd be sorry I tried it, but I don't actually know if it would do that. It certainly feels like I'm making myself shorter inside. I might try it with a dildo and see if it does and how it feels.

Does anyone else feel this way? Is this something that is unique to me? I've just noticed that a lot of men and women seem to talk about clenching those muscles to get better sensation, where I seem to like it more when I feel relaxed and open.

I didn't realize until I joined LPSG that I rarely was totally relaxed during sex and that sometimes it did feel much better when I was. I habitually milk inward, which feels wonderfully to me, but depending on the sexual position, sometimes just staying totally relaxed is better.

For me, clenching describes tightening everything all at once. Is this how everyone else describes it? TheBF says that when he's fucking me hard, he loves it when I alternate totally relaxing with clenching hard, at a pace of ~30 seconds doing one, then ~30 seconds doing the other.

My favorite sensation is from milking inward (from the base of his cock to the head). He can't tell that I'm "milking" unless he's fucking me slower or his cock stays in the same place. I almost always milk inward (up his cock) while he cums. It feels like a natural response to the muscles in his cock that are pumping the cum into me in the same direction. It feels wonderful.

I definitely don't relax. I THINK I sort of push inwards (outwards? towards the middle anyway and definitely not downwards - I didn't even know I could do that until a few months ago :redface:). But maybe I clench? And maybe it's different with different kinds of orgasms, or with toys vs humans? I will check it out and get back to you.

I think that you're describing what I do. We need to define our terms, I think, so that it's less confusing to talk about.

This is what I'm trying to wrap my brain around. See, in my mind, there are two types of tight vaginas. The first is one that's naturally small, as in it's the actual build of the body that makes it small, and the other is that, because of the muscular tone, it's tight through an unconscious amount of flexing.

I don't think that I'm naturally small, but I might be a natural size medium. :redface: It's interesting to experience the other side of things since I definitely have much weaker muscles now than I did when I first joined LPSG.

OK, so an update. I have a spot on the back wall, about 5.5 - 6 inches in (the main source of most of my non-deep-spot vaginal orgasms) and apparently I push inwards against the toy with that part of my vagina. There's no bearing down at all though. Really it's like clenching, but only with the upper muscles - the lower ones aren't involved at all.

I'm curious about something. Next time, look at your belly button. Before I was pregnant and TheBF would help me practice, I noticed that when I tightened the uppermost part of my vagina, up in the cul-de-sac area, my belly button sort of moved inward and upwards. I wasn't sure if I just wasn't isolating properly. After my uterus began expanding and getting bigger and bigger, it became very obvious that what I was moving was my uterus itself, which I believe was causing the tightening sensation in the cul-de-sac area. Could you tell me if your belly button moves like that too when you do that?

Like MrsR, I can only relax consciously. And relaxing during the 'it feels great' phase, would completely kill any chance of orgasm. To orgasm I need to push myself over the edge (physically and mentally - not that it takes much effort sometimes).

It no longer takes conscious effort for me to relax any more, but it doesn't seem to affect my ability to orgasm. I don't know if my contribution on this regarding being relaxed during sex is helpful because a lot of things are different in my undercarriage now that I've been pregnant for a while. For one thing, I don't orgasm as easily any more. It's also harder now for me to move my muscles, so that makes it easier to just stay totally relaxed. They get tired faster and they aren't as strong.

Ok, I don't mean whole body relax like I'm having a massage or something. It's not all the time either. I know I clench in certain positions or when I'm doing most of the work. This is different, it seems as though this is mainly when I'm on my back and sometimes if I'm on top and I've had an orgasm already, maybe it's some sort of weird g-spot stimulation orgasm for me? I just can't seem to find the words to describe it, maybe relax isn't right. But it feels amazing and I don't want to tighten those muscles at all I just want to feel it, clenching actually distracts from the sensation and I have to stop myself from doing it.

No it's not an all the time thing. It's just sometimes.

I think I know what you mean there. Lately sometimes when we're having sex, I'm totally relaxed, and he feels just absolutely fantastic, and I'm not about to orgasm but I just don't want him to stop and I have no desire to use any of my muscles or change a thing. I just want him to keep going.

I gotta say, the most confusing part of my own first sexual relationship (not really very much of a relationship, but denial can stave off a lot of realizations for a long time) is that I am so orgasmic that I didn't understand that having one didn't equal retroactive consent.

To be clearer, what I meant was that even if he managed to work a lot of cum and orgasms out of me, he still drugged me to get me into bed, and held against me things I said while drugged to get the "relationship" on track. I just mention this because of the "relaxed orgasm" thing. Even while passed out from being dosed with GHB, I can apparently still orgasm.

I guess even smart girls can be stupid sometimes

I'm so sorry that happened to you.

I was roofied once and I think I got lucky that night. I wasn't raped, but sexually assaulted. I'm sure that I wasn't raped. I'm sure that I would have known. I have one brief memory of standing in a hallway and being confused about where I was and why I was only wearing a shirt and my underwear, and I only had one drink that night and that guy had given it to me after acting really sketchy and nervous and fishy, but I didn't put all of that together until the next morning. I woke up in my own bed. I think I was saved by being on my period. Thank goodness some men are grossed out by menstrual blood. It definitely frightened me a lot, though, and I ended up in tears the next time I was face to face with him, which was about 6 months later. I stayed out of bars for a very long time after that. I was 21.
 

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Do you mean like you're pushing a ben-wa ball out of your vagina? I haven't done that in a very long time and I don't think I've ever done it with TheBF. Honestly, I've been afraid that it might "shorten" me and I'd be sorry I tried it, but I don't actually know if it would do that. It certainly feels like I'm making myself shorter inside. I might try it with a dildo and see if it does and how it feels.

This was why I had struggled with talking about it. I cannot seem to figure out exactly how to describe it.

I didn't realize until I joined LPSG that I rarely was totally relaxed during sex and that sometimes it did feel much better when I was. I habitually milk inward, which feels wonderfully to me, but depending on the sexual position, sometimes just staying totally relaxed is better.

The milking inward is almost second nature to me. I was describing the other thing to someone in PM and how the first time it happened I was shocked because of the way it felt. I think sex has always been more of a hurry up and get there and suddenly I just relaxed for a moment and there it was.

For me, clenching describes tightening everything all at once. Is this how everyone else describes it?

I actually think I isolate different muscles sometimes when I try to. During sex I use them all when I am clenching.

Could you tell me if your belly button moves like that too when you do that?

No belly button movement here. While lying down, I was alternating muscles the other day and it felt like I was moving the muscles in my pelvic region. I've found I can tell were I'm isolating better if I sit with my knees crossed and I lean foward with my arms on the desk or table. So my feet are not on the floor at all. This is the position that works the best for me.

It no longer takes conscious effort for me to relax any more, but it doesn't seem to affect my ability to orgasm.

I was saying this yesterday. I have to stop myself from clenching while I feel the relaxed sensation or it changes the way it feels. I have to concentrate.

I think I know what you mean there. Lately sometimes when we're having sex, I'm totally relaxed, and he feels just absolutely fantastic, and I'm not about to orgasm but I just don't want him to stop and I have no desire to use any of my muscles or change a thing. I just want him to keep going.

I'm glad someone seems to understand exactly what I'm talking about. I still think its some sort of g-spot stimulation.

I was roofied once and I think I got lucky that night. I wasn't raped, but sexually assaulted. I'm sure that I wasn't raped. I'm sure that I would have known. I have one brief memory of standing in a hallway and being confused about where I was and why I was only wearing a shirt and my underwear, and I only had one drink that night and that guy had given it to me after acting really sketchy and nervous and fishy, but I didn't put all of that together until the next morning. I woke up in my own bed. I think I was saved by being on my period. Thank goodness some men are grossed out by menstrual blood. It definitely frightened me a lot, though, and I ended up in tears the next time I was face to face with him, which was about 6 months later. I stayed out of bars for a very long time after that. I was 21.

Both of you, I'm sorry. I stay away from parties and things of that nature. I also very rarely drink, so if I do go somewhere I end up bringing in a bottle of water.
 

Empathizer

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It was a cup of water in a laundry room from a guy in my Chaucer class. One thing I learned was that there really isn't any such thing as "too vigilant."
 

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Ok, I don't mean whole body relax like I'm having a massage or something. It's not all the time either. I know I clench in certain positions or when I'm doing most of the work. This is different, it seems as though this is mainly when I'm on my back and sometimes if I'm on top and I've had an orgasm already, maybe it's some sort of weird g-spot stimulation orgasm for me? I just can't seem to find the words to describe it, maybe relax isn't right. But it feels amazing and I don't want to tighten those muscles at all I just want to feel it, clenching actually distracts from the sensation and I have to stop myself from doing it.

Relaxing is probably the perfect word to describe it, I just don't do seem to do it myself. All of sex is a fight for me though. I like it rough and hard. Even orgasms had alone are rough and hard, with the pushing/clenching sensation rather than a relaxing one. Sex and relaxing just don't seem to mix for me, physically or psychologically.


No it's not an all the time thing. It's just sometimes.

Phew!


I gotta say, the most confusing part of my own first sexual relationship (not really very much of a relationship, but denial can stave off a lot of realizations for a long time) is that I am so orgasmic that I didn't understand that having one didn't equal retroactive consent.

This confusion seems to happen a lot with people who have experienced abuse. It was a sticking point for my ex, who struggled to get past the 'But if I had an orgasm, I enjoyed it' point.


To be clearer, what I meant was that even if he managed to work a lot of cum and orgasms out of me, he still drugged me to get me into bed, and held against me things I said while drugged to get the "relationship" on track. I just mention this because of the "relaxed orgasm" thing. Even while passed out from being dosed with GHB, I can apparently still orgasm.

I guess even smart girls can be stupid sometimes

*Hugs* We all have our moments when we just aren't thinking of the worst happening. Most of us are just lucky enough that we get through those moments alive and unharmed. Don't blame yourself for not realising the danger.


What would happen if you just relaxed? No orgasm whatsoever?

It might sneak up and get me anyway, but I'm thinking there'd be no orgasm. I'm not sure I'm game to try it :redface:


Good questions. Not sure how to answer, but I'll pay more attention next time.

Revisit and report then :biggrin1:


No, I meant "Me" fighting from cumming. If this is my first orgasm for the day, I blow it in less than 15 minutes unless I fight it off.

Oh! That makes more sense then.


I love that feeling. I could stay there forever.

Oh gosh, that would be horrible! I would hate to be stuck in the almost there place forever. Maybe this is why I push myself over :tongue:. You guys relax because you like being there. I can't handle the almost there feelings, so I push myself over.


For me, clenching describes tightening everything all at once. Is this how everyone else describes it?

My definition of clenching is the same as yours. My pushing feeling is like clenching, but not quite the same and only with the upper muscles, and mostly with the back wall (hence the different name).


I think that you're describing what I do. We need to define our terms, I think, so that it's less confusing to talk about.

Does the above description make it any clearer?


I'm curious about something. Next time, look at your belly button. Before I was pregnant and TheBF would help me practice, I noticed that when I tightened the uppermost part of my vagina, up in the cul-de-sac area, my belly button sort of moved inward and upwards. I wasn't sure if I just wasn't isolating properly. After my uterus began expanding and getting bigger and bigger, it became very obvious that what I was moving was my uterus itself, which I believe was causing the tightening sensation in the cul-de-sac area. Could you tell me if your belly button moves like that too when you do that?

I'll check it out and get back to you. If it seems I've forgotten, please remind me :smile:. It does seem to be happening just sitting here, but i want to check with a toy to make sure (I love it! A VISUAL way of comparing what we're doing! Much more straight forward!).


I'm so sorry that happened to you.

I was roofied once and I think I got lucky that night. I wasn't raped, but sexually assaulted. I'm sure that I wasn't raped. I'm sure that I would have known. I have one brief memory of standing in a hallway and being confused about where I was and why I was only wearing a shirt and my underwear, and I only had one drink that night and that guy had given it to me after acting really sketchy and nervous and fishy, but I didn't put all of that together until the next morning. I woke up in my own bed. I think I was saved by being on my period. Thank goodness some men are grossed out by menstrual blood. It definitely frightened me a lot, though, and I ended up in tears the next time I was face to face with him, which was about 6 months later. I stayed out of bars for a very long time after that. I was 21.

Hugs for you too!


This was why I had struggled with talking about it. I cannot seem to figure out exactly how to describe it.

You seem to be doing pretty well so far.


I'm glad someone seems to understand exactly what I'm talking about. I still think its some sort of g-spot stimulation.

Oh, I don't seem to HAVE a g spot (or at least I've never ever felt any pleasure from the area it's supposed to be in). Maybe this is why relaxing doesn't work on me?
 

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I'll check it out and get back to you. If it seems I've forgotten, please remind me :smile:. It does seem to be happening just sitting here, but i want to check with a toy to make sure (I love it! A VISUAL way of comparing what we're doing! Much more straight forward!).

Okay, so I stood in front of a mirror with a toy to check this belly button thing out and . . . it moved!!!

Petite, I swear you notice the strangest things! I would never have noticed it if it wasn't for your prompting.
 

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Ok, during this I tend to relax my vaginal muscles. It seems to increase the sensation for me. Sometimes I even bare down or kind of push outward with my muscles instead of clenching inward.

It took me a few days to finally get the right "visual aid" to explain this, but my wife and I discovered something different as a result of submissivegirl83's post.

First off, let me digress for a bit. On another, completely unrelated thread, sg83 posted a squirting clip. In that clip, at the very end, the woman pushed her g-spot out, similar to how sg83 explained the baring down. I downloaded the clip, spliced it up, converted it twice and voila:

http://www.lpsg.org/members/rawdog/albums/some+of+my+favorite+gifs/77925-g-push.html

Now, on to our discovery. I sent MrsR a copy of sg83's post and we had a long talk about this whole relaxing, baring down thing, using the g-spot pushing clip as a point of discussion..

MrsR wanted me to stick 2 fingers in her, spread her lips open, and see if she could push her g-spot out as well. Nada... Not even close. I said it's probably because she wasn't relaxed or turned on enough. So I stuck 2 fingers in, stroked, did the come hither, rotated clockwise, switched hands, rotated counter clockwise, etc. until she came and came and came. All the while we were still talking about how doing this felt, how doing that felt good, do that some more.

We then decided to break out the swing and try it with my dick. Her cunt was surprisingly supple and relaxed when I went in. She didn't have the usual initial entry orgasm, but our dialogue continued. Every once in a while she'd push out (like the clip) and I did feel a pronounced roughness pushing against my cockhead and shaft. Overall she was as "consciously" relaxed as possible.

In a word, OMFG!! We did it for what seemed like forever and she never got sore!! And she had more intense, more rapid orgasms to boot!

In a word, I am a changed man because of this exchange we had. Instead of the, "oh my god, you feel so fucking tight this is so fucking good", it's now a relaxed embrace and I can feel so much more of MrsR's vagina. I'm actually enjoying our lovemaking sessions now even more!!

I'm going to go waay out on a limb here and say something totally heretical... Looser/Relaxed is better!

P.S. Thanks for the great post, submissivegirl83!!
 
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