It took me a few days to finally get the right "visual aid" to explain this, but my wife and I discovered something different as a result of submissivegirl83's post.
First off, let me digress for a bit. On another, completely unrelated thread, sg83 posted a squirting clip. In that clip, at the very end, the woman pushed her g-spot out, similar to how sg83 explained the baring down. I downloaded the clip, spliced it up, converted it twice and voila:
http://www.lpsg.org/members/rawdog/albums/some+of+my+favorite+gifs/77925-g-push.html
Now, on to our discovery. I sent MrsR a copy of sg83's post and we had a long talk about this whole relaxing, baring down thing, using the g-spot pushing clip as a point of discussion..
MrsR wanted me to stick 2 fingers in her, spread her lips open, and see if she could push her g-spot out as well. Nada... Not even close. I said it's probably because she wasn't relaxed or turned on enough. So I stuck 2 fingers in, stroked, did the come hither, rotated clockwise, switched hands, rotated counter clockwise, etc. until she came and came and came. All the while we were still talking about how doing this felt, how doing that felt good, do that some more.
We then decided to break out the swing and try it with my dick. Her cunt was surprisingly supple and relaxed when I went in. She didn't have the usual initial entry orgasm, but our dialogue continued. Every once in a while she'd push out (like the clip) and I did feel a pronounced roughness pushing against my cockhead and shaft. Overall she was as "consciously" relaxed as possible.
In a word, OMFG!! We did it for what seemed like forever and she never got sore!! And she had more intense, more rapid orgasms to boot!
In a word, I am a changed man because of this exchange we had. Instead of the, "oh my god, you feel so fucking tight this is so fucking good", it's now a relaxed embrace and I can feel so much more of MrsR's vagina. I'm actually enjoying our lovemaking sessions now even more!!
I'm going to go waay out on a limb here and say something totally heretical... Looser/Relaxed is better!
P.S. Thanks for the great post, submissivegirl83!!