Arrested!

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by Imported, Feb 24, 2003.

  1. Imported

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    Curtis: At Mark's request, here is a reprint of the story I posted on the old board:

    I was shopping at an outlet mall about a half-hour from my home. It's not a place I shopped at frequently, though I had been there before. At the time I was working in agricultural sales and my work clothes wreaked from being in customers' dairy barns all day, so I had changed into a pair of sweats and a t-shirt. These sweats weren't overly tight, but freeballing in them made my johnson quite noticeable. I didn't think much of it. I had worn these sweats in public many times before.

    It was mid-December and I was in and out of several shops, looking for Christmas gifts. I had been there a few hours and was the lone customer in a Jockey (underwear) store. I had asked the clerk (one of two young, female employees in the store) if they had any particular styles that offered more room in the crotch. The two employees conferred and showed me a few suggestions. I thanked them for their help and continued to browse.

    A few minutes later, two uniformed police officers came in, told me not to move, grabbed me, cuffed me, and walked me out to the squad car. I asked them to explain what was going on, and they said they would tell me in a few minutes.

    As I sat alone in the squad car, (it was dark, evening) one of the officers brought out a few people, one by one. He shined his flashlight at me, presumably to let these store employees identify me. After several more minutes, the officer returned, told me I was under arrest, read me my rights and took me to the police station.

    When I asked what I had done wrong, the officer was a bit evasive, told me I was being charged with disorderly conduct. He said some of the store clerks accused me of "leering at them," whatever that means. At one point while he was patting me down, he asked if I was wearing underwear. I said no.

    I was released without bond and given a court date. I had to hire a lawyer, who reached a plea agreement with the state's attorney for $100 fine and court supervision (which means if you pay your fine and stay out of trouble for 6 months, they expunge your record). Even the prosecutor said the whole thing seemed stupid, but he had to do his job. My alternative was to plead not guilty and the prosecutor would get a new court date and summon the complainant. This would have cost more in legal fees than $100, not to mention another day away from work.

    To this day, I still don't know what I did wrong. Was it simply the bulge in my pants that offended someone? Did they think I was trying to call attention to it by asking for "roomy" underwear? Or was there something about my behavior that scared someone? During the Christmas season, I'm sure there are a lot of temporary store employees who are simply told to call security if they see anything suspicious.

    The whole thing leaves me disgusted because I hate having to worry about how visible my willy is under my pants. I'd rather just dress for comfort. I figure I have the same right as anyone else to be comfortable.

    Has anyone else been arrested or thrown out of a public place because of their "bulge"?

    Curtis
     
  2. MisterMark

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    Thanks for posting your story here, Curtis. It's still amazing to me. It also makes me angry. I feel like calling the police station in the city where you were arrested and asking them if they always waste their time with things like this. Tell me where it happened and I'll call them.

    I haven't been arrested for showing a bulge, but boy, I certainly could be! I better stay away from that town.

    I believe that police in most cities are doing a good job. Unfortunately, once they go into "arrest mode," all logic seems to fly out the window, and then you're screwed.
     
  3. ericbear

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    Curtis:

    Here's one possible perspective on the incident:

    Imagine for a moment that a guy is appearing in public with an obvious erection, making no effort to be modest, and engages in conversation with women about his underwear while in this condition. I think you would agree that this could be interpreted as lewd conduct. Everyone gets unexpected wood now and then, but modesty would indicate that the guy should go somewhere private, or at least avoid this sort of contact, until his erection subsides.

    You, of course, were not erect. However, you must remember that a well-endowed man can easily have a completely flacid penis that is larger and thicker than an average man's full erection. So, it is possible that the women issuing the complaint believed that you were aroused when you spoke with them about you underwear needs, based on whatever bulge your soft cock made hanging in your sweats. Under those circumstances, I could see them making a complaint, and the police taking it seriously, at least at first.
     
  4. MisterMark

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    Actually, a similar thing happened to me. I was given a $100 citation at a park in San Francisco (Land's End) which is very well known for being "nudist-friendly." It wasn't legally a nude beach, so I was definitely breaking the law. However, I'm very sure that I was picked out of the crowd because of my very large genitals. (I've enlarged them with silicone.) As ericbear suggested, it's very likely that the officer saw me from afar and figured that I must be erect. In a way, it's sort of funny - as he was writing the ticket, he said, "Usually we overlook things like this, but you're just too much." lol...

    Maybe I should be happy that I was noticed. ;D
     
  5. Imported

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    gigantikok: Ok, so lemme get this straight, it is now illegal to show a bulge or outline of an erection in your pants in public now? What kind of fucking law does that break? If people dont like it, they shouldnt look!!
     
  6. Imported

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    brad2002: Let's face it. Our private parts are just that: private. Yes, as much of a turn on as it is to show off our assets, it is indecent to intentionally show an erection or an outline or to not try to cover it up if it occurs spontaneously.

    The person in question knew for certain that "freeballing made my johnson quite noticeable." He "didn't think much of it." Any decent person would think a lot about it. People don't want to see it. Preserving our modesty and showing respect for others is partly what underwear is all about.

    So this dude, obviously not wearing underwear, and admittedly showing off his privates, goes into a store and asks a young woman about underwear that provides "more room in the crotch." (wink, wink) Since he does not wear underwear, this is completely disingenuous. And it is indecent. She, if this story is real (which I doubt it is) had good reason to be offended.

    I'm not sure this is a criminal offense, but it is definitely indecent. The fellow was asking for trouble, and I for one am glad he got it.
     
  7. D_Martin van Burden

    D_Martin van Burden Account Disabled

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    [quote author=brad2002 link=board=relationships;num=1046147216;start=0#5 date=02/26/03 at 21:43:08]
    So this dude, obviously not wearing underwear, and admittedly showing off his privates, goes into a store and asks a young woman about underwear that provides "more room in the crotch." (wink, wink)  Since he does not wear underwear, this is completely disingenuous.[/quote]

    Slow down, partner. Your sarcastic (wink, wink) seems to question the authenticity of Curtis' lack of intent for causing a scene. Re-reading his first paragraph, Curtis had reasons for changing clothes; he got into the t-shirt and sweats because his work clothes smelled badly. The only clarification to ask here is whether or not he had freeballed in "these sweats in public many times before." If he had to little or no notice (much less punishment by the law), then no harm, no foul, correct? (Though I still wonder why you're traipsing about in a t-shirt in the middle of December...)

    Moreover, he didn't add the reactions of the employees. Surely if their eyes averted to his visible crotch, then they might have blushed, excused themselves, or hosted a similar reaction. But from the tone of the story, they simply did their jobs and waited until Curtis had moved on to notify the local authorities. Why the police summoned more passersby ("...one of the officers brought out a few people, one by one.") it also remains unclear, but perhaps more people had noticed him in his sweats than previously thought.

    But, don't get me wrong. I wouldn't necessarily dispute the public indecency charge either. Knowing what we all know about our sizes and how much attention they can garner, there's a difference between feeling stripped of one's right to walk around and do daily activities and dressing in a manner to arouse attention. Yes, it's a double-standard. Women with large breasts can dress in tighter fitting sweaters and it's unlikely a cop will arrest them for the indecency charge; perhaps if they wore too high-cut of shorts or a skirt (or another garment to make the ass and crotch more visible), it would be a different story.

    Gigantikok makes a good point in saying that people should avert their eyes and remove themselves from an uncomfortable situation, but in this case, Curtis should have probably demonstrated the foresight in putting a pair of undergarments on. I know from personal experience (even with boxer shorts and baggy jeans) that unwanted attention can come about from a swinging dick, so to avoid situations like this in the future, keep it covered and minimize attention. Goes to show that people can and do react to large endowments in other ways than the obvious shock and excitement.

    Too bad you had to learn a $100 lesson, though.
     
  8. MisterMark

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    brad2002 sounds like a lot of fun. :p
     
  9. ericbear

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    [quote author=gigantikok link=board=relationships;num=1046147216;start=0#4 date=02/26/03 at 18:24:32]....What kind of fucking law does that break?  [/quote]

    It is worth pointing out that it is indeed illegal for a man to be aroused in public in most places. In some places, such as New York City, there is a specific statute regarding public male arousal. However, INTENTIONALLY displaying an erection in a public place, particularly if accompanined by suggestive actions or words, would be considered a lewd conduct offense almost anywhere.

    The law isn't as silly as it may seem. Consider how a woman alone at night in an almost empty subway station may feel in these two situations:

    Bad: "I think that creep keeps looking at me."

    Worse: "That creep keeps looking at me, and he's got a hard-on!"

    These things are seldom enforced, but do give police more options to nail someone with when necessary, such as when there is a legit complaint. Unfortunately, there is also the possiblity of a simple misunderstanding being made worse.

    If you are well endowed, it is not difficult to make a showing that for an average man would require a major deliberate crotch-stuffing, which under the right circumstances could be considered lewd. Or, you could be mistaken for being aroused. So, you need to give more consideration to what is and is not acceptable in public than a man with average endowment. Don't think of it as unfair, but just part of the responsibility that goes along with being exceptional.
     
  10. Pecker

    Pecker Retired Moderator
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    My vain ex-wife's response:

    Worst: "That creep keeps lookiing at me, and he's got a hard-on, and he's got terrible acne!"

    Pecker
     
  11. Imported

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    sammygirly: brad2002:"...it is indecent to intentionally show an erection or an outline or to not try to cover it up if it occurs spontaneously....Any decent person would think a lot about it..."


    Wait, there's a societal issue here...

    WHY is it indecent to show a bulge?  Since when are our bodies "indecent"?  Isn't it this mentality exactly that perpetuates the negative stereotype most of you deal with everyday?


    ericbear:"The law isn't as silly as it may seem.  Consider how a woman alone at night in an almost empty subway station may feel in these two situations:

    Bad: "I think that creep keeps looking at me."

    Worse: "That creep keeps looking at me, and he's got a hard-on!"

    As a woman...I can honestly say....so what?  That's an "ew, why ME?" incident...not a "call the police!!" incident. Now if it was...

    "That creep keeps looking at me, and he's got a hard-on, and he's got terrible acne, and what's that he just said about raping me?"

    THEN I'd call the police...I think...~LOL~
     
  12. MisterMark

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    I agree with sammygirly. I recently saw a girl at the gym whose shorts were cut so low that some of her pubic hair was showing - I'm not kidding! I almost said something to the management of the gym, but then I thought, "Now wait a minute. I used to wear lycra shorts to the gym, and I know that some people were upset by that. She has just as much of a right to look like a whore as I did when I dressed that way!" So, I didn't say anything, and I'm glad I didn't.

    One of my AOL profiles was just deleted because I had a link to one of my websites which contains nude pictures of me. I get so sick of everybody's overreactions to sexual situations. I should place a link to the LPSG in my next profile. I'm sure they'll find this message board offensive as well because it's about...OMG...PENISES!
     
  13. MisterMark

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    [quote author=ericbear link=board=relationships;num=1046147216;start=0#8 date=02/27/03 at 02:42:43]

    The law isn't as silly as it may seem.  Consider how a woman alone at night in an almost empty subway station may feel in these two situations:

    Bad: "I think that creep keeps looking at me."

    Worse: "That creep keeps looking at me, and he's got a hard-on!"[/quote]

    One more thing...if this is the standard by which we are now arresting people, then I think that any woman with large breasts who doesn't do everything she can to hide her endowment should be arrested. Some people find large breasts offensive, ya know... ;)
     
  14. Imported

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    mhk: I agree with Mark. I see women with big, fake boobs in the gym all the time. They wear tight shirts showing nipples and all. But there is a double standard out there when it comes to this. Men like to see women like that, but not necessarily the other way around. So it tends to get dismissed as just another women with a great body. Anyway, I've never been arrested or any thing, but I have gotten snide remarks or dissaproving looks if I'm dressed a little too provocatively. That's all. thanks.
     
  15. Imported

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    aquaman875: I completely agree w/the views expressed here about people's overreactions to a *gasp* penis. However, I can't see it changing in today's political environment. Lets say the cop questions Curtis, finds nothing wrong, and lets him go. Later that night a salesgirl is raped by Curtis (Curtis - I know you wouldn't, but I'm using your story as a hypothetical). The story would be all over the news and the cop and his boss would lose their jobs. Therefore, we end up with zero tolerance policies that result in the arrests of men with nothing more than a big dick.
     
  16. Imported

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    sammygirly: Meh, the girl Curtis raped probably had hard nipples peeking through her blouse due to the extreme cold.

    She was asking for it!
    (Get my point?)
     
  17. ericbear

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    [quote author=sammygirly link=board=relationships;num=1046147216;start=0#10 date=02/27/03 at 05:44:15]As a woman...I can honestly say....so what?  That's an "ew, why ME?" incident...not a "call the police!!" incident....
    /color][/quote]

    But that's the whole point- the behavior would make you feel uncomfortable or unpleasant, and even slightly victimized ("Why Me?"), and in a civilized society, things that make most people feel uncomfortable are discouraged, sometimes by statute if necessary. No, most people wouldn't call the cops, but on the other hand, the threat that the cops could be called acts as a deterent against distasteful behavior becoming excessive. Being made to feel a little uncomfortable once in a while isn't terrible, and people should be tough enough to just shrug it off, but if it starts happening too often, that's bad, so some limits are necessary.

    Different people have very different concepts of sexual propriety, and social mores and law try to achieve a reasonable compromise in a very wide field. Sex is a very personal thing, and personal beliefs should be respected. If you are posting on this public board, you obviously are uninhibited about sexuality. But that's not true for everyone. The other day, my mailwoman (a very nice woman at retirement age, who has delivered mail in the neighborhood for almost 40 years and has presumably seen a thing or two in that time) almost fainted when I answered the door shirtless, but otherise quite conservative. She was obviously extremely uncomfortable, kept averting her eyes, and ran off very quickly after I signed for the box. I felt embarassed to have caused her such discomfort, even though I hadn't done anything wrong by any reasonable standards. It's a good thing I wasn't in my gym shorts, because the situation would have been that much more uncomfortable. On the other hand, in different situations, where I believe people will not be offended, and might even enjoy the view, I have no problem being shirtless in skimpy shorts. In fact, I tend to exhibitionism, but I do draw the line if I think I'm making someone else uncomfortable, which I have no right to do.
     
  18. Imported

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    mhk: I think the real issue is not whether this guy would rape someone or not, but what is socially acceptable. I know for a fact, that here in America, big boobs in a tight shirt are a lot more acceptable than a big penis in spandex. Neither one is bad, it's just the way it is accepted, that's all. You have to remember who your audience is when you step out on the stage.
     
  19. Imported

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    sammygirly: And that really was my point...that it's society's perceptions of our various body parts that MAKES it indecent. In my opinion, things are not indecent unless the intention behind them are indecent.
     
  20. Imported

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    brad2002: Somehow I don't see a double standard here.

    First of all, the situation with Curtis' carelessly showing off his assets is somewhat rare. Most men, no matter how hung or indiscreet, usually don't bring that much attention to themselves. Negative reactions to that degree are even rarer.

    Secondly, I don't think women get a free pass on this. Yes, it is common to see women indecently showing off their bodies. They, too, rarely get arrested for their behavior. But they are judged negatively by those around them. They are deemed to be sluts. They are often shunned. Their families shake their heads and wonder whatever got into the girl. And worst of all (more commonly), they attract jerks, men who are interested only in their bodies and not in them as people. And the really sad thing is that they feel so bad about themselves that they often think they've hit the jackpot when they find such a man.

    Modesty and discretion would go very far in our society if they were exercised more regularly.
     
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