As a teenager, what objects did u fuck?

[Andresito]

My ex was a mechanic and claims he got his dick caught in a customer's exhaust pipe once. And I do mean a car's.

Divine.

Myself ---> just bed, pillow, and imagination ("life is your creation, come on Barby, nananana")

 

[D_Gunther Snotpole]

I'm not sure who Hans is, but I didn't mention him in the original post. Wishful thinking, Rubi?

Ah, shucks.
But, you know, I'm hard of hearing.
That's, that's, that's what I heard.

 

[D_Gunther Snotpole]

Does that give me a 2 in 3 chance then? :biggrin1: :biggrin1:

Is your name Hans?

 

[dcwrestlefan]

Smooth or crunchy?

Choosey fuckers choose Jif.

 

[Matthew]

And, in fact, it was smooth.

 

[sykray]

When I was 12 and my dick was skinny, I used to fuck an empty glass milk bottle. Tried toilet roll tube but it wasn't so good and bit tight. Fucked a flower vase, a wine carafe and an omelette (plain). I had a denim cushion made from cut-off jeans with a fly zip. I would unzip it and put a lubricated plastic bag inside it and fuck the imaginary crotch.

 

[DaveyR]

Is your name Hans?

Since I changed it by Deed poll this morning YES - I am now called HANS FAISDOWN-ASSUP

 

[D_alex8]

Since I changed it by Deed poll this morning YES - I am now called HANS FAISDOWN-ASSUP

At least you only had to change your first name, then.

 

[DaveyR]

At least you only had to change your first name, then.

How did you know? Have you been checking up on me?

 

[8"gaboy]

Maybe I am showing my southern roots here, but ever try a watermelon?

For a horny teenager a damn good fuck...tight, wet, cool....

I have done the same thing....feels real good to cum in!

 

[B_NineInchCock_160IQ]

was Faisdown your father's surname and Assup your mother's? Or did you take your husband's last name and add it to your own when you got married?

 

[B_NineInchCock_160IQ]

I have done the same thing....feels real good to cum in!

Is this why I always smell rancid fruit whenever I'm driving through Georgia?

 

[DaveyR]

was Faisdown your father's surname and Assup your mother's? Or did you take your husband's last name and add it to your own when you got married?

Changed it on Marriage - yes Homo Marriage - I am one of the one's responsible for every problem in the World !

 

[joker]

As a woman, I just want everyone to know how completely hilarious I have found this thread....it's great!!!

 

[D_Gunther Snotpole]

Is this why I always smell rancid fruit whenever I'm driving through Georgia?

OMFG! Are you now saying gay people in Georgia smell?
What's happened to you, Nick?
Vipier bite you?

 

[Ethyl]

A jar of peanut butter.

Yup.

I can't believe i'm eating peanut butter and crackers as I read this.

 

[D_alex8]

I can't believe i'm eating peanut butter and crackers as I read this.

Does the peanut butter have a nice creamy texture?

 

[Ethyl]

Does the peanut butter have a nice creamy texture?

Not anymore:grumble:

 

[DaveyR]

I can't believe i'm eating peanut butter and crackers as I read this.

Did you spead it in globules or in strings?

 

[Matthew]

OMFG! Are you now saying gay people in Georgia smell?

I can personally vouch for that (once having been one myself).