As a teenager, what objects did u fuck?

[B_NineInchCock_160IQ]

OMFG! Are you now saying gay people in Georgia smell?
What's happened to you, Nick?
Vipier bite you?

since when do you have to be queer to have sex with produce?

Personally I don't like fucking fruit... I find that it's easier to form meaningful relationships with common household appliances. But I never thought this had anything to do with my orientation.

 

[B_NineInchCock_160IQ]

A jar of peanut butter.

Yup.

Has anyone else spread peanut butter over their dick in order to entice their dog or other family pet into servicing them orally? (cat's tongues have little hairs on them that feel a bit like sandpaper.. yowzers..) Because... I... certainly haven't. rivateeye:

 

[D_Gunther Snotpole]

since when do you have to be queer to have sex with produce?

Personally I don't like fucking fruit... I find that it's easier to form meaningful relationships with common household appliances. But I never thought this had anything to do with my orientation.

Who's saying you have to be queer to have sex with produce? I'm not. I no more think it has anything to do with your orientation that you do. Nor did I say it had.

You say you're 100 per cent straight and, for me, that's not just your claim, but your vibe and my assumption.

My earlier joke (hands ... Hans) was strictly, strictly, a joke .. of a species that's not rare on this board.

You strike me as astute, sensible, and very honest.

If I offended you, I apologize.

 

[detritus]

I used to be in to bestiality, sadomasochism, and necophilia, but then I realized I was just beating a dead horse.

Seriously, though...I f'ed a kiln once...it was HOTT

 

[dreamer20]

Has anyone else spread peanut butter over their dick in order to entice their dog or other family pet into servicing them orally? (cat's tongues have little hairs on them that feel a bit like sandpaper.. yowzers..) Because... I... certainly haven't. rivateeye:

Was the "has anyone else..." a Fruedian slip Nine ?

A dog's tongue is very soft but as its teeth are not I would not advise that kind of enticement.

A cat with a hairy tongue? hehehe.

 

[Ummagumma]

I would like to add that beyond my banana story, I have never fucked anything beyond pussy a few times and my hand way too many times.

Great thread though.

 

[Pirate Wench]

Along the lines of the mattress usage......

No one has tried a lubed plastic bag stuck inside a block of foam rubber ?
You'd only need a long knife to stick in the foam rubber first to cut the foam to start with.

Now don't everybody run down to a fabric/sewing notions store like Hancock's (sorry - LOL)......for a block of foam rubber.



I've heard the fleshlight is Very popular and feels great.
Saw a clear one in an ad online somewhere......

 

[ruinean]

When I was 15 I decided I missed homemade bread so I made some. It did not get past the kneeding stage though.

 

[coaster77]

Firstly, I have to say that one of the production lines I'm responsible for is peanut butter. I think when I go to work tomorrow I will have a whole new outlook on that product. I'm guessing some of you guys will be needing the 1Kg jar.

But funnily enough, there is a brand in Australia called Dick Smith's Peanut Butter. Now I know why our competitor is selling so well.

As for me, I've always slept on a spring frame or a futon, so no bed fucking. But I did like fucking my dressing gown that would hang on the back of the door. It was more like rubbing up the door. It explains now why I like fucking standing up.

I also tried fucking the pool filter nozzels (that returned the water to the pool) but quickly grew too big for the hole. I do remember that feeling of high water pressure against my head and shaft.

And then there was the fake cherries. You know the ones you find in fruit cakes and things, brightly coloured red and green. Well I took the ingredients from the Uni lab and made one big one. It was like a semi-solid lube (like jelly) that just ended up everywhere.

 

[x19dragostea84x]

When I was 14 I got caught screwing a pillow. That was awkward...

 

[B_NineInchCock_160IQ]

Who's saying you have to be queer to have sex with produce? I'm not. I no more think it has anything to do with your orientation that you do. Nor did I say it had.

You say you're 100 per cent straight and, for me, that's not just your claim, but your vibe and my assumption.

My earlier joke (hands ... Hans) was strictly, strictly, a joke .. of a species that's not rare on this board.

You strike me as astute, sensible, and very honest.

If I offended you, I apologize.

No offense taken Rubi.. I thought you were making a joke and I was trying to joke back... somewhere along the line something was lost here.

 

[B_Anzalone]

I never tried to fuck any objects, but i put my cock through a large hole in my fence, like a glory hole.... lol, that was really fucking stupid.

 

[D_Gunther Snotpole]

No offense taken Rubi.. I thought you were making a joke and I was trying to joke back... somewhere along the line something was lost here.

Hah. Okay. Good. Because I would still like to respond to you on threads.

 

[nystrongstroke2]

I've always humped damn near everything in site when i was a kid.When i was about 11-12 i had these incredibly soft pillows with zippers on the side.I was fooling around 1 day and thought y not just hump the hell out of the pillow.The first time i did it--wasnt to nice the teeth of the zipper felt violated and bit the hell out of me lol.The 2nd time i lubed up with alot of lotion and baby oil--and i flipped the teeth of the zipper inside out a couple of times--so it was just a nice size opening for me to hammer away.

 

[BJason12]

i generally just fucked my hands or my pillows as a teenager. I once used a watermelon because i had heard bout guys doin it and i became curious...... and in regards to peanut butter.....i tried it and it wasnt too bad...cept they need taller jars cause i couldnt fit my entire dick inside. But seriously, nothing can compare to a good mouth, arse or vagina

 

[B_Spladle]

This thread is doing wonders for my self esteem.

 

[Mr.Grande]

girls

ditto

 

[blflid]

Mainly my hands (both of them ), but also vacuum cleaner (didn't work). I also used small rolls of sticky tape as cock rings. Worst thing i ever did was putting the point of a compass (the item for drawing circles, not to point north) down my urethra. That hurt a lot!

 

[B_dxjnorto]

I tried the vacuum cleaner once and only once.

I've heard several stories about farm boys and milking machines. Are those stories apocryphal? Good thing they pasteurize the stuff.

 

[chico8]

I tried the vacuum cleaner once and only once.

I've heard several stories about farm boys and milking machines. Are those stories apocryphal? Good thing they pasteurize the stuff.

I tried but it didn't work. A cow's teat is fairly small so only a young kid or lesser endowed guy would have any luck with it. Actually, I didn't try it while the machine was on, I "borrowed" one of the sleeves from my grandparent's dairy and went out into the woods. Even at 15 I was too big to fit into it.