As a teenager, what objects did u fuck?

xrush_uncut

Sexy Member
Joined
Feb 26, 2006
Posts
302
Media
0
Likes
35
Points
163
Location
Northeastern, U.S.A.
Sexuality
100% Gay, 0% Straight
Gender
Male
I remember hearing once on Dateline or one of those TV magazine shows that the most common call for 911 with regard to pools, other than a drowning, was guys that stick their semi-hard cocks into the water-out jets in the pool or hot tub and then their dicks get hard inside and can't come out, thereby necessitating a call to 911.

Whenever my family would stay at a hotel I remember wanting to try but was too afraid because of the stories I'd heard about on TV. I would always put my crotch up against the jet though. It was better than nothing, I guess.
 

catman

Cherished Member
Joined
Oct 24, 2004
Posts
2,413
Media
0
Likes
370
Points
208
Location
Ga
Sexuality
50% Straight, 50% Gay
Gender
Male
Maybe I am showing my Southern'ess here, but had a cousin show me watermelons..

Get them when they are in the hot sun, cut an apropriate sized hole out, a little lube if you want and have at it!

Now about eating it.....:cool:
 

SpeedoGuy

Sexy Member
Joined
May 18, 2004
Posts
4,166
Media
7
Likes
41
Points
258
Age
60
Location
Pacific Northwest, USA
Sexuality
99% Straight, 1% Gay
Gender
Male
ushah said:
Whenever my family would stay at a hotel I remember wanting to try but was too afraid because of the stories I'd heard about on TV. I would always put my crotch up against the jet though. It was better than nothing, I guess.

Same here. Sometimes discretion really is the better part of valor.
 

Rubenesque

Expert Member
Joined
Oct 12, 2006
Posts
2,611
Media
5
Likes
109
Points
193
Location
United Kingdom
Sexuality
100% Straight, 0% Gay
Gender
Female
I think this might be the best thread I've seen on LPSG!!! I had no idea that pubescent boys could be quite so imaginative - toilet roll tubes, melons, peanut butter, bread.

Also, I'm so relieved that I didn't have a son, I'd be paranoid of touching a household appliance/kitchen cupboard staple EVER AGAIN! haha

I shouldn't be surprised though, my ex husband (virgin til he was 23) told me that as a desperate teen he'd been told that filling a jar with raw liver and fucking it was pretty similar to the real thing - so he gave it a try. If he'd only told me that little story before we were married I'd have been saved the hassle of a divorce LOL
 

B_Think_Kink

Sexy Member
Joined
Oct 25, 2006
Posts
10,419
Media
0
Likes
51
Points
193
Gender
Female
Mainly my hands (both of them ;) ), but also vacuum cleaner (didn't work). I also used small rolls of sticky tape as cock rings. Worst thing i ever did was putting the point of a compass (the item for drawing circles, not to point north) down my urethra. That hurt a lot!

Speaking of sounding, I had a friend who like to put AAA batteries in his urethra... so your story isn't the strangest I've heard.

Other than that, amusing, this thread shows the creativeness of a teenaged boy.
 

Nitrofiend

Experimental Member
Joined
Jun 28, 2006
Posts
892
Media
0
Likes
16
Points
163
Sexuality
No Response
Gender
Male
I could never get the toilet paper or paper towel or anything like that to work. The next step up from bottles with openings that wide were things like mayonnaise jars and I'm not quite that wide lol. I never found anything suitable to fuck other than mouths, vaginas, hands, tits, and assholes.

But...I did try a few things...

A tissue box...figured it'd be convient but nope...

A jar of orange marmalade...didn't work

Couch cushions...not bad, but not good either

A large plastic cup filled with cotton balls, soft foam thingies, and vaseline and baby oil...it was impulsive and didn't work at all

I would never fuck a vacuum...the thought of some kind of whirring fan inside, not to mention the accumulation of dust and grime within does not make it an attractive fuck...

I've had an uncooked hotdog, and a banana up my ass...it was interesting...

I have been known to hump my bed a bit, but more instinctually in my sleep than a conscious desire to get off

Yep, that's all.
 

WildHoney

Experimental Member
Joined
Oct 2, 2006
Posts
1,101
Media
0
Likes
22
Points
183
Sexuality
100% Straight, 0% Gay
Gender
Female
I am with the girls on this one I LOVE this thread. I find it totally hot actually. I wish my husband fucked more fruit hahahah :biggrin1:

If I was a boy I would try everything I am sure, it seems so erotic to me to see men put their cock in unusual things.....but hey I am weird :tongue:

:smile:
Honey

( who is buying a watermelon tonight and getting hubby drunk)
 

~quicksilver~

Sexy Member
Joined
Sep 13, 2006
Posts
389
Media
0
Likes
72
Points
248
Location
U.K.
Sexuality
80% Gay, 20% Straight
Gender
Male
Tried a large grapefruit but was (obviously) too small and had to make a second hole out the end! It wasn't particularly pleasant. The best thing I had in the house were some sheepskin cushion covers my parents had got in New Zealand. I would roll one into a tube and use it in my hand, or place two inbetween the sofa cushions and fuck it... The sensation was amazing!...All warm and furry and tickly... The only problem was that I coudn't cum unless I wore a rubber or I would have had some 'splainin to do :eek: Funny cus I didn't realise about precum back then (I produce quite a lot) My parents still have the cushion covers and I swear I can notice slight discolouration down the middle of each!! :rolleyes:
 

Merman127

Experimental Member
Joined
Jun 6, 2006
Posts
40
Media
0
Likes
8
Points
153
Gender
Male
There is a brilliant- although REALLY disturbing- short story by Chuck Palahniuk (the guy who wrote Fight Club) about this very subject. It's called Guts, and can be found here: Guts by Chuck Palahniuk

It is sort of a masturbation-gone-wrong story, so read at your own risk! Enjoy! :p
 

Nitrofiend

Experimental Member
Joined
Jun 28, 2006
Posts
892
Media
0
Likes
16
Points
163
Sexuality
No Response
Gender
Male
There is a brilliant- although REALLY disturbing- short story by Chuck Palahniuk (the guy who wrote Fight Club) about this very subject. It's called Guts, and can be found here: Guts by Chuck Palahniuk

It is sort of a masturbation-gone-wrong story, so read at your own risk! Enjoy! :p

JESUS...god I feel queasy after that one. The worst masturbation incident I ever had was using body soap as lubricant and losing most of the skin on my dick to chaffing (it healed in a week or so). But jesus, that makes my ass clench and my stomach turn over. And all with drowning simultaneously...jesus. Sick imagination, but I wonder if it has actually happended to someone before.
 

hypolimnas

Superior Member
Joined
Apr 8, 2006
Posts
2,035
Media
0
Likes
3,057
Points
343
Location
Penisland
Sexuality
100% Gay, 0% Straight
Gender
Male
Has anyone else spread peanut butter over their dick in order to entice their dog or other family pet into servicing them orally?
I think we were barely teenagers, just more like kids really.
My best friend from next door was obsessed with ideas about what we could rub on our cocks next. Usually it was different kinds of plant leaves and juices from plant stems! I was constantly amazed at what he would come up with.

Once we were lying in the sun naked, and one of our puppies started sniffing, and licking, my cock and balls. The puppy wasn't interested in my friend at all, even through he tried to call him over! I think it was more the salty cock skin that the puppy got off on.

Well then there was the time when we tried calves sucking our cocks. Actually I'm sure everyone will find that too wierd so I won't go on. We laughed a lot! Didn't feel as bad as you might think. LOL.

Later I wondered about it... Actually Kinsey's report has quite a lot about farmboy experiences. After I read all that when I was a teenager, I realised it wasn't really unusual or too wierd.

We had a large natural sponge in the bathroom that got a lot of use. I did find out that I was allergic to soap!

We had a flower vase with a long wide neck that was just the right size for a while, it was very smooth antique celadon so I had a lot of anxiety about any accidents. This only made me rush the whole thing which could have increased the risk of disaster. That was very much a passing phase.

I did have a thing about rubbing my friend's clothing on my cock, (underwear, jeans etc.), for a while anyway. His thighs unltimately won my affection though. Well, I discovered his ass very soon after.

I did get caught rubbing the bottom of the bath once, lying on my stomach etc. My father was alarmed at the redness of my cock when I sat up as he came in, but was very casual about the act itself. It was a few years before I had my first cum. I still enjoy a long warm/hot bath but not in quite the same way.
 

popeye83

Just Browsing
Joined
Sep 23, 2006
Posts
39
Media
5
Likes
0
Points
151
Location
olathe
Sexuality
100% Straight, 0% Gay
Gender
Male
am i the only one that never hurd of the tolitpaper roll i guss i was oldfashioed i was a hand only