Asexual? Maybe....

Vastian

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36 yr I'll male here. Did my due duty
I've slept with what feels like 1/2 of sf. Multiple partners. Had a few long term partners. Been cheated on and cheated on others. Not a perfect partner by far. After a 10 year relationship I've met a few others. Now I miss the companionship. But have no will to do "stuff." Males are still attractive but not an interest. I'm not sure where I'm going with this but though maybe the group here would give some insight to give direction.
 

Jensen4

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Hi! Ace here. There's a thread somewhere on this site where some of us ace folks talk about our experiences and that could help you.

It's not easy to understand whether you're ace or not, because it's not easy to understand the differences between sexual attraction and sex drive or libido. A person for example can have a very high libido but not feeling sexual attraction at all. Putting this in the words of Angela Chen, author of the book "Ace", sex drive "is the desire for sexual release, a set of feelings in the body, often combined with intrusive thoughts. It can come out of nowhere and for no obvious reason and not be about anyone. It’s an internal experience of sexual frustration that does not depend on sexual orientation". While sexual attraction is "horniness toward or caused by a specific person. It is the desire to be sexual with that partner—libido with a target".
So you can be hungry (sex drive) without craving a specific dish (sexual attraction).

In my case, I experience various level of sex drive, so there are days when those level are very very high and days in which I have no sex drive at all. But regarding my sexual attraction, I experience some of it only if I have a very strong emotional bond with my partner, therefore I label myself as demisexual, which is in the asexual spectrum. And even though I feel some sexual attraction for my partner, during sex I'm very bored and I can't wait for it to be over.
 

marriedasian

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Are you still sexually attractive to other people or potential partners? If so, then you're not asexual. Not in the least, by definition anyways.

Sounds to me like you've just had your fill and are now content with whatever may come your way or not at all. In a sense, you're "bored" and your interest level is just very low.

Perhaps take some time to reflect and consider what you truly want and go from there. Imagine a person who would be attractive to you and that person was coming onto you, would you be sexually aroused and want to be sexual with that person? If so, you're not asexual. Now if you would get aroused and choose not to be sexual with this person, then you're still not asexual.

To be asexual means you have no sexual attraction towards others or whatever else.
 
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