Asexuality?

[Uncutsouthernboy]

My nephew is 25 years old. He has never had a girlfriend. To my knowledge he has never had a boyfriend either. I am pretty sure that he is a virgin. When I have talked to him about him having a girlfriend he just says that he don't have any interest and that they are not interested in him. He knows that he can talk frankly with me so I asked him if he preferred boys. He said no. He just didn't have any interest.

He is a handsome young man. He is very personable. I have seen him naked many times as an adult and he is well endowed. He was a late bloomer. In fact he still doesn't shave. He does have pubic hair and hairy legs. No hair on his chest nor his face. He does have some peach fuzz. He is intelligent. He doesn't seem depressed.

My sister and her husband are worried about him and want to send him to a doctor. My brother-in-law wants to get him a hooker.

What do you guys think?

 

[D_Jared Padalicki]

Ha, a doctor for what. It's up to your nephew to decide what he does in his life. A doctor won't help.

 

[B_Artful Dodger]

Lol... I certainly don't think the hooker is going to help matters. I think thats just going to result in a bored hooker.

 

[invisibleman]

My nephew is 25 years old. He has never had a girlfriend. To my knowledge he has never had a boyfriend either. I am pretty sure that he is a virgin. When I have talked to him about him having a girlfriend he just says that he don't have any interest and that they are not interested in him. He knows that he can talk frankly with me so I asked him if he preferred boys. He said no. He just didn't have any interest.

He is a handsome young man. He is very personable. I have seen him naked many times as an adult and he is well endowed. He was a late bloomer. In fact he still doesn't shave. He does have pubic hair and hairy legs. No hair on his chest nor his face. He does have some peach fuzz. He is intelligent. He doesn't seem depressed.

My sister and her husband are worried about him and want to send him to a doctor. My brother-in-law wants to get him a hooker.

What do you guys think?

Nix on the hooker.

Asexuality. I think that that would be amazing to have. I could get a lot done within a day.
For real.

 

[Jake90]

Have you found out whether he masturbates and how often? If he doesn't or hardly ever, maybe he just has a low sex drive. If it doesn't bother him though then what's the problem, unless there are underlying medical reasons. It maybe though that he is still emotionally immature and perhaps afraid of rejection.

I was a late developer physically and emotionally, though I started masturbating at age 5. I also didn't have sex until age 24 (with a girl) though I was definitely interested in having sex with a guy from age 14 maybe, I was just too scared to initiate anything.

I have always had a huge sex drive though (I jacked off 9 times yesterday, seriously) but sometimes think it would be more convenient not to. I have a theory that high-achieving, self-motivated guys have higher sex drives. Any thoughts?

Anyway, basically everyone's different - if he's happy let him be and he'll get round to it if and when he's ready.

 

[sykray]

He sounds fairly normal and well adjusted though unusually not very interested in sexual relationships. The hormones kicked in and he is not likely to be low on them. I have encountered 3 individual men in my clinical practice (psychotherapy of sexual issues and sexual dysfuntion therapy) of more than 35 years experience. One was clearly gender dysphoric and had psychodynamic reasons from childhood for not being interested in sex. His parents made him attend the clinic.

Another was in a gay relationship but didn't want sex - he just considered his partner as his best friend and was quite happy to kiss and cuddle with the guy and was prepared to masturbate or fellate his partner. He never got sexually aroused by this and had never masturbated until his boyfriend persuaded him to try. he found it pointless and boring and couldn't achieve more than a transient and fluctuating degree of erection. He seemed psychologically healthy to me. He came to see me because his boyfriend thought that he was missing out on sexual pleasure so he attended to please his partner.

The third just wasn't interested in having sex or masturbating. He thought there were much more interesting things to do with his time. He also seemed psychologically healthy to me. He attended clinic to please his parents and to get them off his back about it.

Your nephew may have psychological problems to account for his asexuality but may not. It's really his life, his choice. He's an adult at 25 years of age.

 

[joeweekend]

Some people are just wired a little differently.

I say get him drunk (not too drunk, tho) and start talking sex. Find out if he's interested at all. Find out if he just doesn't care. Find out if this distresses him.

If he doesn't care about sex, and it doesn't distress him, all's well enough.

 

[Azu]

Why do you care so much for him to the point you want to lick his cum?

You have some serious issues, leave him alone.

If he wants to use his penis to fuck or to cut it with a knife, that is up to him...

 

[B_Nick8]

That's an absurd post, Azu. The OP hasn't expressed anything but reasonable concern.

I understand why you might want to discuss this with your nephew further, particularly as you're close. Although he doesn't seem depressed, some symptoms can be masked and it is unusual for an otherwise healthy appearing 25 year old guy to have no apparent sexuality; there are potential physiological components such as very low testosterone which might be addressed. Psychologically, "having no interest" may or may not indicate some deeper internal struggle; it's hard to know. It also seems odd that he has no close relationships that you've described. Does he bond well with people? Have close friendships? Are there special people in his life regardless of boyfriend/girlfriend status?

Because of your relationship with him you ought to be able to discuss these things in a way that will not seem intrusive simply to make sure his life is as full and happy as it can be. If it is, then you and his parents can relax and let him live it.