I've been obsessed with cock size since I was about 11. I have always admired huge ones and lusted after them. The bigger the better. My obsession progressed to the point of considering hung guys superior in every way. It developed into a very narrow fetish where I could only get off during sex or even masturbation if it involved a hung guy humiliating me about my cock size. The funny thing is, I know my dick is average size - 6.5 x 4.5. But nothing will EVER convince my brain that it isn't small. In fact my fear/obsession/neurosis over cock size has kept me from ever entertaining the idea that I could satisfy a guy or a girl. Thus, over the years it has completely shut down my desire to be in a relationship, have sex, or even want to be around most people anymore. There doesn't seem to be much of a point to anything anymore. I feel asexual. I feel like a ghost, like I'm already dead. There seems to be no point to human interaction because it all revolves around sex (and cock size) and marriage and a relationship and building a life with someone. It's bizarre because even though I've always had famous women that I looked up to that inspired me, and I've had amazing female friends, I'm especially shut off and distrusting of woman. Frankly, even being touched by a woman most of the time makes me shut down. It makes me feel vulnerable and violated. And the feelings towards men aren't much better. I've lived my life as a gay man, but have become completely disillusioned with gay culture and gay guys in general. They all seem shallow. heartless. egocentric. Straight men are just mysterious creatures to me. They're like machines. I can't relate on hardly any levels. I am an alien, an android, an exception, and a freak. I feel pretty much non-human. The weirdest part of it all, is that all the time I've spent on this site dedicated to helping dudes with big dicks, has somehow helped me work through my size issues. I am no longer tortured, but yet I am numb. So I guess in the end I should say thanks to this strange world of big cocks for being pretty much my only outlet and therapy for my sexual insanity.