Ashamed of what i did.

[Growing123]

I wish that I had the confidence to do that. He would judge me and I would judge myself. I would like a friendship to lead that.
One day after his hand solo he walked past me in the locker room and said casually "Best part of my day". I took it as his attempt to acknowledge our shared interest or maybe put me at ease to be bold like you suggest. But ....... What if he did react badly and tell others?

 

[evolution]

I wish that I had the confidence to do that. He would judge me and I would judge myself. I would like a friendship to lead that.
One day after his hand solo he walked past me in the locker room and said casually "Best part of my day". I took it as his attempt to acknowledge our shared interest or maybe put me at ease to be bold like you suggest. But ....... What if he did react badly and tell others?

What if he did?
He just told you jerking off is the best part of his day. Since having seen you jacking off. Many would say he has boldly opened the door to you. If you asked him if he'd like to j/o together - someplace else, what could he say? You are offering to take his 'hobby' to a place more appropriate - there's nothing truthful for him to say that doesn't embarrass himself. If he lies about it, well he could make up a lie regardless, you just can't worry about that - his behaviours suggest he won't.

I think you're approaching this backwards. Honestly, you are simply some guy at the gym to him now - nothing more. Your only connection for him is a splash of naughty self pleasure. That & going to the gym are your only overlaps right now. I really think you should pursue a mutual j/o someplace more private, a quick secret j/o after which he is "I've got to run". Because he will have to run, his schedule doesn't have j/o session time built into it. But that quickly will lead to another, and another longer session & eventually grabbing a coffee or such & eventually through idle chat a friendship.

As for judging you - he already has. And he has talked to you since. He judged you when he knew you knew he was jerking in the shower & said nothing, he judged you again when you let him see you j/o, and now he has offered you conversation about his joy of j/o. He thinks you are cool with it, he judges you someone he could share his naughty secret with. You have been judged at least 3 times & passed judgement each time. Stop thinking about it -- obsessing about it, it is only a mutual biological imperative - that is all it is. If you want to steal some quick moments to share it, he's in for it - but that is all he is in for or has time for now. A very brief shared moment. ….for now. Relax, breath, put on your big boy pants & ask him if he'd like to give it a try some time someplace less rushed.

 

[Parts Guy]

I can relate somewhat to this. When I was younger, I was infatuated with a guy at the gym. We chatted occasionally, spotted each other in work outs. Showers were open, so often saw each other naked. I would notice he would get hard as would I. I never approached the subject though I wanted to. I was afraid of being labeled or judged. Fast forward over 20 years and we met again at a party, we both still worked out but at different gyms. We chatted and met for drinks one night. Older and bolder, I finally bridged the subject. Remarkably he had thought the same. We ended up in a dark parking lot later that night.

 

[Growing123]

Thanks guys. Yes I am my own worst critic at times - being so long in the closet did not help. I went to gym today but he was not there. The idea of approaching someone and suggesting a mutual j/o will take a lot of courage, easier to do in a bar. Sweating at the idea already. Once I approached him asking for help with something. He quickly shut me down so I felt a sting of humiliation. I have not seen him since he saw me jacking off. He did say goodbye to me when leaving after I greeted him but it was a fleeting moment. Thanks @evolution

 

[Parts Guy]

If this does not work out, don’t give up. I believe you want a physical encounter with a man, so find it, address your insecurities head on and find your happiness.

 

[Growing123]

I want a physical and emotional connection.
He said the "best part of the day" aside comment several months ago before seeing me whacking my meat. The small talk can irritate me as I cannot tell what he is thinking. Maybe he wants me to approach him which I will. The guys on here are straight up direct - all for confronting it. I am reserved in nature so ruminate forever.

Do you think he might want me to broach the subject possibly ....

 

[Parts Guy]

All you can do is try.

 

[Growing123]

I met him today. We chatted as normal so he wasn't offended by my whacking off discreetly / visibly. But we spoke about the world cup. He also had his usual wank with the door closed. I think he might want to just leave our acquaintance-ship as just that.

 

[Parts Guy]

Glad you addressed him.