- Joined
- May 13, 2020
- Posts
- 30
- Media
- 0
- Likes
- 14
- Points
- 268
- Location
- Alaska City (Alaska, United States)
- Sexuality
- 100% Gay, 0% Straight
- Gender
- Male
*Demisexual = No sexual desire to people who he have not developed a strong emotional ties with
or simply commitment before sex, or no hookups before commitment.
*LDR= Long Distance Relationship.
I am having a complex feeling so I am writing this post to vent my emotions.
My Brazilian ex-boyfriend quit his job to come to Australia from 17000km(10563.31 miles) away and we are actually not compatible, after about 3 years, we can't make it together, I broke up with him peacefully.
In 2017, I decided to study in Australia and that's also for Permanent Residency(Green Card), I am an old-school kind of guy who never hook up and will not meanwhile having a strong sexual desire. I find it extremely hard for me to date anyone, first is because I live in a small city, secondly I find white guys in Australia is not really into asian guys, especially when they are not feminine, unfortunately I am just a normal asian guy that acts 'straight', actually nobody knows that I am gay, I keep this to myself because it's better I come out proudly with my partner, it's such a beautiful thing to me.
BTW I have a thing for white guys, especially those with blue/green eyes.
So I started by looking at several online apps, for Grindr, I was there about for 3 months and finally a kind guy told me that this app is for fun only, I deleted it then tried Tinder, doesn't work. Finally I used OKCupid.
I locked in some restrictions: Demisexual, Gay, White or Hispanic and answer dozens of questions and finally find a match - my ex.(he's half Italian and half Spanish, he isn't blonde at all).
After a few days I fell in love with him, he was travelling alone in Chile climbing mountains, on his way back to Brazilian in a Starbucks, I managed to contact a local Chinese guy(spent some money, of course) to help me delivery Roses to him and I said I love him. then after a few months he accepts me...
We talked every day, sharing everything, if we don't have anything to talk to, we say good morning and good night and share some random pictures, the most amazing thing is that he always reply my message in 5 minutes maximum, normally 1-2 minutes.
On 2019, he decided to quit his job and came to Australia, he was stressed too, he doesn't have much money (he was 28 and had a deposit of Australian $7000) and Australia or Canada is somewhere he wants to settle. I applied for my Permanent Residency and I was granted that at October 2019. I will help him with that if we get along and I really hoped so.
He applied for Travel Visa first and after he arrives I paid a few hundred $ money to an agency for him to get a student visa and scholarship.
I am an extremely caring person to all my friends and family without asking anything back:
I paid all the money when he stays here from November 2019 till July 2020. I buy most of the the groceries, I buy him SIM card plans, I pay for all the bills at the rental house and 100% of the rent, I bought new fridges, new bed and everything, all he had to pay was his tuition fee and the meal he had outside himself. I am okay with paying but I currently don't have a job and I will run out of money too. For the 9 months, he only applied for ONE JOB in July when I told him I need to break up with him.
Things depress me a lot and I cannot PERCEIVE love or care from him for the most of the time, I can give some examples:
I told him about everything of me, he knows that I am doing ketogenic diet and it's important to me, he doesn't give a damn about knowing it, let alone cook anything for me, I told him if I ever feel depressed(rarely but yeah), can he make just make a fried egg for me? he said no, ' I am not your mom', ' we have to cook together', it really hurts but I accepted it, people maybe are just different.
I left Australia in Jan and be back in June, from Nov 2019- Jan 2020, I feel really confused about what love is, is this really what I am looking for? before I leave I asked him to take care of my car by starting it every week. he didn't do it after doing it for 3 weeks. seems like his partner's most valuable item left in Australia is not important at all to him, he didn't even bother to tell me about it.
I developed an acute gout when I come back at June, I really need to drink a lot of water like at least 10L every day but I just cannot move at all from my bed, the foot is swollen and painful. I asked him if he could pass me some water, he says I have to wait for 10 minutes because he's playing a phone game. it is not only for once, it's every time, I feel so desperate because I really need that water right now and I have to ask for help for 20 times a day at least, but just for passing water, took less than 5 seconds. As a result I have to take double the painkiller and did it all by myself, every time I left my bed, I have to re-apply medicine to my foot again.
During the time I had gout attack, I asked him to buy me food from a nearby restaurant, he asks money EVERY TIME BEFORE HE GOES THERE, it's just $20.. OMG...I paid at least $12,000 for just rent and..this is what I get returned. That's when I really want to put everything to an end, I have told him so and he agreed.
We only had 3 times of sex: I topped him twice, he had a failed try on me because he is too big and thick for me (20cm, super thick), I am really kinky when it comes to sex but he doesn't wanna do any kinky things and he doesn't seem very interested in sex too, so I didn't even bother to ask him for sex anymore.////
Here is my question:
where can I find and date old-school guys?
I downloaded OKCupid again but this app isn't the same anymore, I tried every city in Australia and New Zealand, there is no match for me, I sent a few hundred Intros but got 0 reply,
When I switch to the USA, I got many likes but still gets no reply, I guess people just don't trust LDR..
Do I have to be alone for my entire life? somebody helps me?
or simply commitment before sex, or no hookups before commitment.
*LDR= Long Distance Relationship.
I am having a complex feeling so I am writing this post to vent my emotions.
My Brazilian ex-boyfriend quit his job to come to Australia from 17000km(10563.31 miles) away and we are actually not compatible, after about 3 years, we can't make it together, I broke up with him peacefully.
In 2017, I decided to study in Australia and that's also for Permanent Residency(Green Card), I am an old-school kind of guy who never hook up and will not meanwhile having a strong sexual desire. I find it extremely hard for me to date anyone, first is because I live in a small city, secondly I find white guys in Australia is not really into asian guys, especially when they are not feminine, unfortunately I am just a normal asian guy that acts 'straight', actually nobody knows that I am gay, I keep this to myself because it's better I come out proudly with my partner, it's such a beautiful thing to me.
BTW I have a thing for white guys, especially those with blue/green eyes.
So I started by looking at several online apps, for Grindr, I was there about for 3 months and finally a kind guy told me that this app is for fun only, I deleted it then tried Tinder, doesn't work. Finally I used OKCupid.
I locked in some restrictions: Demisexual, Gay, White or Hispanic and answer dozens of questions and finally find a match - my ex.(he's half Italian and half Spanish, he isn't blonde at all).
After a few days I fell in love with him, he was travelling alone in Chile climbing mountains, on his way back to Brazilian in a Starbucks, I managed to contact a local Chinese guy(spent some money, of course) to help me delivery Roses to him and I said I love him. then after a few months he accepts me...
We talked every day, sharing everything, if we don't have anything to talk to, we say good morning and good night and share some random pictures, the most amazing thing is that he always reply my message in 5 minutes maximum, normally 1-2 minutes.
On 2019, he decided to quit his job and came to Australia, he was stressed too, he doesn't have much money (he was 28 and had a deposit of Australian $7000) and Australia or Canada is somewhere he wants to settle. I applied for my Permanent Residency and I was granted that at October 2019. I will help him with that if we get along and I really hoped so.
He applied for Travel Visa first and after he arrives I paid a few hundred $ money to an agency for him to get a student visa and scholarship.
I am an extremely caring person to all my friends and family without asking anything back:
I paid all the money when he stays here from November 2019 till July 2020. I buy most of the the groceries, I buy him SIM card plans, I pay for all the bills at the rental house and 100% of the rent, I bought new fridges, new bed and everything, all he had to pay was his tuition fee and the meal he had outside himself. I am okay with paying but I currently don't have a job and I will run out of money too. For the 9 months, he only applied for ONE JOB in July when I told him I need to break up with him.
Things depress me a lot and I cannot PERCEIVE love or care from him for the most of the time, I can give some examples:
I told him about everything of me, he knows that I am doing ketogenic diet and it's important to me, he doesn't give a damn about knowing it, let alone cook anything for me, I told him if I ever feel depressed(rarely but yeah), can he make just make a fried egg for me? he said no, ' I am not your mom', ' we have to cook together', it really hurts but I accepted it, people maybe are just different.
I left Australia in Jan and be back in June, from Nov 2019- Jan 2020, I feel really confused about what love is, is this really what I am looking for? before I leave I asked him to take care of my car by starting it every week. he didn't do it after doing it for 3 weeks. seems like his partner's most valuable item left in Australia is not important at all to him, he didn't even bother to tell me about it.
I developed an acute gout when I come back at June, I really need to drink a lot of water like at least 10L every day but I just cannot move at all from my bed, the foot is swollen and painful. I asked him if he could pass me some water, he says I have to wait for 10 minutes because he's playing a phone game. it is not only for once, it's every time, I feel so desperate because I really need that water right now and I have to ask for help for 20 times a day at least, but just for passing water, took less than 5 seconds. As a result I have to take double the painkiller and did it all by myself, every time I left my bed, I have to re-apply medicine to my foot again.
During the time I had gout attack, I asked him to buy me food from a nearby restaurant, he asks money EVERY TIME BEFORE HE GOES THERE, it's just $20.. OMG...I paid at least $12,000 for just rent and..this is what I get returned. That's when I really want to put everything to an end, I have told him so and he agreed.
We only had 3 times of sex: I topped him twice, he had a failed try on me because he is too big and thick for me (20cm, super thick), I am really kinky when it comes to sex but he doesn't wanna do any kinky things and he doesn't seem very interested in sex too, so I didn't even bother to ask him for sex anymore.////
Here is my question:
where can I find and date old-school guys?
I downloaded OKCupid again but this app isn't the same anymore, I tried every city in Australia and New Zealand, there is no match for me, I sent a few hundred Intros but got 0 reply,
When I switch to the USA, I got many likes but still gets no reply, I guess people just don't trust LDR..
Do I have to be alone for my entire life? somebody helps me?