Ask a Cow Anything, Part 2

[B_dumbcow]

Chick-fil-A Are these your relatives?

Cookies are nice. Guess I should go get some Oreos, but I'd eat the whole package by next sunrise I'm sure. There are some recipes for no-bake cookies. Most people bake cookies. :tongue:

Are you glad that a kook doesn't cook your cookies? :biggrin:

And now I'm back to bed shhhh.

If I didn't know better I would swear that was Aunty Mabel.

And yes, cookies are nice. But cookies you don't cook? They're just ies.

Father Christmas has told me many interesting stories about the Tooth Fairy, one involving plastic teeth, money laundering and bank accounts in Switzerland...

That tooth fairy sure knows how to swindle the money Selling "human ivory" in the green market. The bitch makes a fortune.

Hi Dumbcow it's Thanksgiving day long weekend here and everyone is eating turkey I suppose your especially glad your not a turkey at this time of the year, have you ever tasted turkey or are you a strict vegetarian

I'm a strictly alfalfa cow, so no turkey for me! :biggrin1:

Do cows have a religion(s)? Forgive me if you have already been asked this.

We worship the Cow God, Joan Rivers. :smile:

Do you mean to imply that soy milk doesn't come from soy cows? Next you'll be telling us that coconut milk doesn't come from coconut cows!

It's true, but soy cows are nowhere near my type of cow!

Of course they come from soy cows! It just seems that Dc is the other type, those made of meat.

Meat? Well... I'm made of cow so that's impossible :tongue:

Unless you're some kind of sicko maniac.

 

[cockoloco]

Meat? Well... I'm made of cow so that's impossible :tongue:

Unless you're some kind of sicko maniac.

Sicko Maniac? No, I'm a vegetarian. But I've got some friends whom I would not let get any closer that 30 meters of you. I would be afraid that they... um ... attack you.

 

[hockeyguy741]

can you stand on your head or do cartwheels..........

 

[B_dumbcow]

Sicko Maniac? No, I'm a vegetarian. But I've got some friends whom I would not let get any closer that 30 meters of you. I would be afraid that they... um ... attack you.

:biggrin1: Oh good :biggrin1:

can you stand on your head or do cartwheels..........

I can do both. At the same time!

 

[Northland]

Years back there was a television show with a horse named Mr.Ed and it had a nifty theme song. Are there any television shows where the cow is the star and has a theme song?

 

[Calboner]

Dear Dumbcow, have you dined at the brasserie Le boeuf sur le toit (The Cow on the Roof) in Paris, and can you tell us anything about the boeuf after whom it is named?

 

[B_dumbcow]

Years back there was a television show with a horse named Mr.Ed and it had a nifty theme song. Are there any television shows where the cow is the star and has a theme song?

YouTube - Cow and Chicken Intro Yes, Cow and chicken :biggrin1:

Poor long lost brother chicken. After he started living the life of a child star, drugs were a major part of his life... he's been missing for a while now. Last thing I heard he was having one of those new species transition surgeries to become a rabbit.

Dear Dumbcow, have you dined at the brasserie Le boeuf sur le toit (The Cow on the Roof) in Paris, and can you tell us anything about the boeuf after whom it is named?

:biggrin1: Yes! I have dined there. Funny story, really. It used to be called the roof because they have a nice roof. When I went to eat there, I assumed the seating was on the roof so I went up there and took my seat on the chimney.
Now it was ever so boring up there because I wasn't being served, so I decided to dance and jump about. This attracted lots of crowds and got the restaurant lots of new business, so they named it after me :smile:

 

[MASSIVEPKGO_CHUCK]

Now, Dumbcow, I plan on visiting the Sit N' Relax tonight, and plan on being barside where Mandee used to tend bar. If you even ponder chewing your cud, there are some things that are gonna happen;

One- I'll tell Crazy one what you told me last time I asked you not to like right here;

www.lpsg.org/1410962-post718.html. Or is there another Dumbcow who said that.

Two- I'll "demonstrate" how razor sharp my new Samurai sword is by slicing in half the new wooden barstool to my right like so-SHWAAACKK!!!

See how easily and clean that cut went through? Well, imagine one of your various appendages being removed.

Three- if you aren't impressed, then let me introduce you to my industrial sized cattle prod set @ lightning bolt. I know you've felt these before, but not at this setting.


And I will be sitting at the barstool there long before you arrive, so if you think I'll leave, then buster you've been sampling too many poppies.


So, watch out, I'm off work, I'm thirsty, and don't wanna hear, see or smell you & your cud, get me?

 

[TurkeyWithaSunburn]

Can cows skip?
Are you a fan of www.ISkip.com ? :lmao:

 

[B_dumbcow]

Now, Dumbcow, I plan on visiting the Sit N' Relax tonight, and plan on being barside where Mandee used to tend bar. If you even ponder chewing your cud, there are some things that are gonna happen;

One- I'll tell Crazy one what you told me last time I asked you not to like right here;

www.lpsg.org/1410962-post718.html. Or is there another Dumbcow who said that.

Two- I'll "demonstrate" how razor sharp my new Samurai sword is by slicing in half the new wooden barstool to my right like so-SHWAAACKK!!!

See how easily and clean that cut went through? Well, imagine one of your various appendages being removed.

Three- if you aren't impressed, then let me introduce you to my industrial sized cattle prod set @ lightning bolt. I know you've felt these before, but not at this setting.


And I will be sitting at the barstool there long before you arrive, so if you think I'll leave, then buster you've been sampling too many poppies.


So, watch out, I'm off work, I'm thirsty, and don't wanna hear, see or smell you & your cud, get me?

Oh no! Such harsh punishments for such an innocent crime...

Well, yes I did say that! And I'm not moving :biggrin1: I will chew my cud louder than Whitney Houston sings "I Will Always Love You", and I will be closer to your face than the very nose on your face.

The same nose that is on your face. Yes, Me and my cud chewing will be right. on. your. face.

And you're going to have to deal with it, or I'll call batman and have him do superperson stuff on you :tongue:

Can cows skip?
Are you a fan of www.ISkip.com ? :lmao:

:biggrin1: Yes! I love skipping *registers to site*

 

[MASSIVEPKGO_CHUCK]

Oh no! Such harsh punishments for such an innocent crime...

Well, yes I did say that! And I'm not moving :biggrin1: I will chew my cud louder than Whitney Houston sings "I Will Always Love You", and I will be closer to your face than the very nose on your face.

The same nose that is on your face. Yes, Me and my cud chewing will be right. on. your. face.

And you're going to have to deal with it, or I'll call batman and have him do superperson stuff on you :tongue:

Who the hell is Batman that you think he will scare me?

You really wanna press your luck? I will give crazy one that quote of you saying you're going to deliberately annoy me.

And No, I repeat, with emphasis, NO, you will not make your way over to MY barside spot where Mandee & I used to talk, and chew your cud loudly at....fucking...ALL!!!!!

It was mine & Mandee's space long before your bovine butt ever showed up here @LPSG.

And just on a personal note; the cattle prod will give you literally the shock of your life. Demonstration? OK. A small piece of calfskin gloves, the cattle prod set at maximum,(Uh, that's like bein' a sinner and walking into church setting btw!:naughty Now, one touch of the electrode to the gloves...........BZZZZAPPPT!!!!!



Gee, nothing but a smoldering piece left there. Now, would you like to fathom what your insolent derriere'd look like on that setting?

And uh, bear in mind also, that Japanese samurai swords are surgical sharp, so you stick that drooling holstein honker in my face, you will lose it with one swift deft stroke.

And on a more personal note, when the Sit 'N Relax was being remodeled, I planned on your acting insolent and installed a cowtrap that'll catapult you out of there with ease right next to my barstool . Oh, and btw, it's rigged with a special code, so don't even think of disabling it.

 

[Calboner]

Am I the only person here who finds Chuck's posts in this thread nasty and disturbing?

 

[D_Bob_Crotchitch]

Was your graduating class song "Moo River"?

 

[cockoloco]

Am I the only person here who finds Chuck's posts in this thread nasty and disturbing?

He's cute.

 

[B_dumbcow]

Who the hell is Batman that you think he will scare me?

You really wanna press your luck? I will give crazy one that quote of you saying you're going to deliberately annoy me.

And No, I repeat, with emphasis, NO, you will not make your way over to MY barside spot where Mandee & I used to talk, and chew your cud loudly at....fucking...ALL!!!!!

It was mine & Mandee's space long before your bovine butt ever showed up here @LPSG.

And just on a personal note; the cattle prod will give you literally the shock of your life. Demonstration? OK. A small piece of calfskin gloves, the cattle prod set at maximum,(Uh, that's like bein' a sinner and walking into church setting btw!:naughty Now, one touch of the electrode to the gloves...........BZZZZAPPPT!!!!!



Gee, nothing but a smoldering piece left there. Now, would you like to fathom what your insolent derriere'd look like on that setting?

And uh, bear in mind also, that Japanese samurai swords are surgical sharp, so you stick that drooling holstein honker in my face, you will lose it with one swift deft stroke.

And on a more personal note, when the Sit 'N Relax was being remodeled, I planned on your acting insolent and installed a cowtrap that'll catapult you out of there with ease right next to my barstool . Oh, and btw, it's rigged with a special code, so don't even think of disabling it.

:biggrin1: Oh, no cow trap can stop me from chewing my cud in your face

Yes, it was yours and Mandee spot, but my bovine butt scared her away, so I've come to soothe your thoughts with the gentle chewing of cud

Am I the only person here who finds Chuck's posts in this thread nasty and disturbing?

It's all jokes so it's all cool

Was your graduating class song "Moo River"?

No, we had a more *dramatic* song. "I will always love MooOOOooOoo"

He's cute.

Yes he is very cute

 

[MASSIVEPKGO_CHUCK]

:biggrin1: Oh, no cow trap can stop me from chewing my cud in your face

Yes, it was yours and Mandee spot, but my bovine butt scared her away, so I've come to soothe your thoughts with the gentle chewing of cud

Oh, really? what about the loss of your honker and/or teeth there, Dumbcow? 'Cause as sure as the sun comes up, my surgical sharp samurai sword will disprobosculate your nose and remove your teeth. And as for your evading the trap, well, wouldn't it be surprising that it's baited with alfalfa and poppies rigged with a Gorilla Glue paper that holds you in place till you're catapulted like so;


*clod, clod, clod* *SPROING!!!!**FWEEEEeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee*
*crash!!*

Y'know, those artificial cows never quite get the distance as the real ones.


Oh, and BTW, I still have Mandee on my messenger- just you wait till I tell her how you deliberately scared her away from me.:naughty:

And this from someone who said he missed her too.

Shame, shame, shame, Dumbcow. You're Too youngbut nottoo insolent to become a whopper.

 

[B_dumbcow]

Oh, really? what about the loss of your honker and/or teeth there, Dumbcow? 'Cause as sure as the sun comes up, my surgical sharp samurai sword will disprobosculate your nose and remove your teeth. And as for your evading the trap, well, wouldn't it be surprising that it's baited with alfalfa and poppies rigged with a Gorilla Glue paper that holds you in place till you're catapulted like so;


*clod, clod, clod* *SPROING!!!!**FWEEEEeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee*
*crash!!*

Y'know, those artificial cows never quite get the distance as the real ones.


Oh, and BTW, I still have Mandee on my messenger- just you wait till I tell her how you deliberately scared her away from me.:naughty:

And this from someone who said he missed her too.

Shame, shame, shame, Dumbcow. You're Too youngbut nottoo insolent to become a whopper.

:biggrin1: You know I love Mandee

My cow powers will scare you away anyhow, and I'll keep on chewing my cud

 

[hockeyguy741]

How now brown cow.......

 

[D_Bob_Crotchitch]

Does it hurt your feelings when someone calls you a cow?

 

[MASSIVEPKGO_CHUCK]

:biggrin1: You know I love Mandee

My cow powers will scare you away anyhow, and I'll keep on chewing my cud

You never loved Mandee as much as I do. And cow powers? to scare me away?
I think not there, DC. There's only one guy who I've got on retainer for all the bugs and beetles he can gnosh on, and that guy has already proven
he can scare the shit out of you, & make you produce rotten cottage cheese.

Or, maybe you'd prefer a little uh, tactful negotiation; I've got you on video in your poppy field harvesting them and then selling them on the street- whatcha think the DEA guy'd think if he saw that?

Or maybe I should just use the GORILLA GLUE TAPE around your nose so that next time you chew your cud it'll be your last?(Bear in mind that GGT is extremely tough to remove especially in ERs:biggrin::naughty

Or how about I just plain ask you to go someplace & chew your cud, since you've already taken a dump on the floor & it stinks? Crazy'll have a fit trying to get it cleaned.
Or maybe I'll show you how sharp my samurai sword & just plain remove your mouth?:tongue:
Maybe I'll get the Burger King to cater the place with his new TRIPLE BEEF WHOPPER, & leave them right next to you so you can inhale the smell of cooked cow flesh.