Ask a dumb englishman something easy

[Calboner]

Is it true that the English system of government is founded on strange women lying in ponds and distributing swords? I mean, if I went round saying I was an emperor because some moistened bint had lobbed a scimitar at me, they'd put me away! (And what is a bint, I wonder?)

 

[Catchoftheday]

Is it true that the English system of government is founded on strange women lying in ponds and distributing swords? I mean, if I went round saying I was an emperor because some moistened bint had lobbed a scimitar at me, they'd put me away! (And what is a bint, I wonder?)

This is not an easy question . I think you mean the lady in the lake...lakes are a bit like ponds only more bigger and she only has one sword I think...which is a special one who she gives only to special people, I don't think this has got anything to do with Governments and stuff

I think a bint is a lady from abroad somewhere

 

[Calboner]

I looked up "bint" at Urbandictionary.com, and the first gloss was "Engilsh slang for a whore or bitch. Similar to a tart." So if you have half of a tart, do you call it a half-bint?

 

[Principessa]

Do you have one of those cute Cockney accents or do you sound more posh like Prince Charles?

 

[ZOS23xy]

Is it true you can read English?

 

[D_Geaffardson Jelliwilli]

He isnt around but I was born in England so here goes..

Yes, you can read English at Oxford or Cambridge.

Is it true you can read English?

 

[Catchoftheday]

I looked up "bint" at Urbandictionary.com, and the first gloss was "Engilsh slang for a whore or bitch. Similar to a tart." So if you have half of a tart, do you call it a half-bint?

I think maybe the people from the website have mis-heard ...I know that sometimes the people from abroad who have nice horses who do racing in England give the girl horses Bint as a first name, so maybe they thought they said whores but in fact they said horse. I don't know if they call their doggies Bint as well, probably they do.

I don't think you are allowed to have half a tart, I think that's being a bit greedy :tongue:

 

[Catchoftheday]

Is it true you can read English?

I can't read and I can't write, but that don't really matter, cos I com from Wiltshire and I can drive a tratter :biggrin1:

 

[Catchoftheday]

Do you have one of those cute Cockney accents or do you sound more posh like Prince Charles?

Cute Cockney accents caw blimey guv I should think not, surely only a foreigner could think that a cockney accent is cute. I don't speak like the nice people from the big houses either. I speak proper Wiltsire:wink: . Cazzunt thy tell?

 

[D_Kay_Sarah_Sarah]

Any good cures for a cold/flu?

 

[Catchoftheday]

Any good cures for a cold/flu?

NO, but ...evidently if you are feeling poorly you should go to bed and if you have a cold a good way to get rid of the germs is to sweat it out, so you have to go to bed and got hot and sweaty...

Another good thing for colds and flu is sucking on Englishmans penis..if you don't have an Englishman, thinking about it works a little bit too..So you need to go to bed with a hot Englisman and get sweaty.

Laughter is good for most things :biggrin1:

 

[D_Kay_Sarah_Sarah]

Do you know any English men who wouldn't mind me thinking of their penis while im getting hot and sweaty in bed?

 

[Catchoftheday]

Do you know any English men who wouldn't mind me thinking of their penis while im getting hot and sweaty in bed?

What you really need is somebody who has a nice picture that you could look at or maybe even a nice video you could watch to give your imigination a bit of help, :wink: I'm sure if you look you might find someone, I've heard someone calle "Catchoftheday" is quite obliging (thats a funny name for an Englishman ) :biggrin1:. All Englishman are nice, I'm sure you will have a queue :smile:

 

[Catchoftheday]

Why are you so damned attractive ?

 

[Principessa]

Why are you so damned attractive ?

Who, me? It's an accident of genetics. :wink:

 

[Catchoftheday]

Who, me? It's an accident of genetics. :wink:

Yes you :redface: and that other fine looking person, over there, yes you

 

[Calboner]

What should one do when one's favorite cow in all the world disappears?

 

[naughty]

What should one do when one's favorite cow in all the world disappears?

Put on your walking shoes and start looking!

 

[Catchoftheday]

What should one do when one's favorite cow in all the world disappears?

It depends on where your cow was the las time you saw her and what she was saying yo you, if she was saying nasty things to you like, drop dead loser or I don't want to see you ever again or fuck off dim wit, then maybe you should consider looking for a new cow.

If she was just munching on her grass then maybe she has gotten lost and you should give her a call on her moooobile phone, or you could just go to way you last saw her and wait there..

 

[MASSIVEPKGO_CHUCK]

Is it really true you guys don't wear a damn bit of protection during your football games?