Ask a dumb englishman something easy

[Catchoftheday]

Going naked through your Soho or through the frozen tundra with the love of your life?

I don't know what frozen tundra is maybe it is something like frozen yoghurt? I expect that they sell it at Icelands so I should think I could get some from there although I don't have a love of my life so I will have to be the other one :frown1:

Have you ever been part of a scam?

Yes I was once on this website thingy pretending to be a dumd englishman and got all the people on the website to send me lot's of money, that was quite fun

What would you consider to be an easy question?

What colour is an orange crayon

How did the chicken cross the road if there was rush hour traffic?

I think it went to the zebra crossing and watched the zebra and copied it

Should I be annoyed that the excuse for a landlady has now decided to give us no heat after we had excessive heat when we didn't need any?

No your landlady is a nice lady you should be gratefull that she has given some heat in the first place, I don't think it was her fault that you didn't need the heat when she gave it to you. You should be annoyed with the weather, everybody should be annoyed with the weather

If I actually were Vartan Gregorian, would you recommend me to your friends, neighbors and family as a suitable house guest?

I don't know who this Vartan person is so I don't think they would be a suitable house guest for my family and stuff

Have you ever accosted a client?

I don't have any clients ...so no

Have you ever been accosted by a police offficer?

Police Officers are accosting me all the time :redface: Sometime they just accost me because I am so good looking they find it hard to believe other times they recognise me and try to get me to work out who the people are what have done the crimes. It's a bit of drag sometimes being really good looking and really clever at the same time :redface:

When you are dashing around on your foot scooter, do you get a charge from the breeze generated as it glides through your hair?

Yes it happens all the time, which is why I try not to go too fast

Do you think I may have made a mistake by eating a pound of sugar this morning?

No a pound of sugar for breakfast is a nice way to start the day

 

[Catchoftheday]

Now that isn't right, Mr. Northland. Asking so many questions of Mr. Catchoftheday all at once might cause his brain to overheat and explode.

I hadn't thought of that!

It's okay there isn't much to overheat let alone explode, I doubt anyone wood notice the difference anyway

What If all the englishmen are dumb?

I don't think this can be right
God shall help me.

:smile:

 

[Catchoftheday]

Catch... do you like answering all of these questions?

Yes, it's good fun sharing my wisdom with the world

 

[Catchoftheday]

hi!

So am I! Do you think red heads have more of a temper than anyone else or do you think that is just a myth?

Hello naughty girl, well from personal experience I know that when I used to be a redhead I used to have more of a temper than I do now that I am more of a greyhead. Also I have known other redheads who have had quite a bit of temper so maybe it is true. Of course this doesn't mean that all redheads have more of a temper. or does it

 

[hockeyguy741]

What do you do when your not sharing your incredible insight and wisdom with us?

 

[Catchoftheday]

What do you do when your not sharing your incredible insight and wisdom with us?

Hello Mr Hockeyguy, when I am not answering the nice questions at this place I have to spend a lot of time studying and stuff so that I can answer your nice questions proper. When I don't do this I like to relax by listening and doing walking.

People don't want me to there work for them so I am unable to do this so that I don't have much money at the moment which is a bit sad for me. Maybe Mr Superman will pay me some money for anwering all these questions on his website thingyhone:

 

[hockeyguy741]

I was at the bank the other day and all the pens had blue ink in them. I was wonder is black ink not as popular or is there some kind of world wide shortage of this color of ink, or is it just because people don't like black ink as much as blue.....

 

[B_hungprepjock]

Oi say, Gov'ner, would it be tickety-boo to serve Marmite on Bath Biscuits when me mates cum over for a bit of the ol' in-out in-out (if you know wot I mean, wink wink, nudge nudge)? Or shud Oi do that only if Oi'm actually in Bath, or near some other Roman spa with a working vomitorium?

If so, wot tea wud be proper for the occasion? Or, considerin the brewery origins of Marmite, would an ale or lager be more appropriate. What do you recommend?

 

[Catchoftheday]

I was at the bank the other day and all the pens had blue ink in them. I was wonder is black ink not as popular or is there some kind of world wide shortage of this color of ink, or is it just because people don't like black ink as much as blue.....

Hello Mr hockeyguy, I haven't been to the bank recently because they wont give me money any more, they said something about not having any in my account I don't know what that means.

I think I read somewhere that the banks haven't got much money these days I think it said that they had lost it, it has probably gone down the back of the sofa and they can't reach it I know that has happened to me before.

Maybe because they don't have much money they are having to use up all the old pens and because the pens are so old the colour has faded to blue but it was probably black when they bought them a long time ago.

 

[Northland]

Yeah, it's been a while since I last asked you a question, have you been concerned about that?



I asked the German man if his gloves had thumbs, should I ask you as well?



Are the letters S and Z the same in England?



Do you shovel snow?

 

[Catchoftheday]

Oi say, Gov'ner, would it be tickety-boo to serve Marmite on Bath Biscuits when me mates cum over for a bit of the ol' in-out in-out (if you know wot I mean, wink wink, nudge nudge)? Or shud Oi do that only if Oi'm actually in Bath, or near some other Roman spa with a working vomitorium?

If so, wot tea wud be proper for the occasion? Or, considerin the brewery origins of Marmite, would an ale or lager be more appropriate. What do you recommend?

Hello Mr Hungprepjock, I don't think I know what a Bath biscuit is if you eat biscuits in the bath wont they go soggy

Maybe you mean a Bath bun...no that would be horrid with Marmite ..maybe you mean a Bath Oliver that would be better, although I think most people eat these with cheese and stuff I think that Marmite maybe would be quite nice :wink:

A nice English Breakfast Tea would be quite nice with your Bath Olivers I don't think beer would be a good idea. Al;though Tea is quite nice I am thinking that maybe your friends would prefer some nice Cider with the marmite and stuff I think that some nice English Scrumpy would be the ideal thing if you can get some of this.

 

[B_hungprepjock]

Ta, Gov! Bath Olivers they are, and. no, I don't want any more. I think they're made with the sulphourous mineral water from the 'source' in Bath, but the bathwater from Oliver Twist, after a bunch of orphans have used it, would have been my second guess.

What's Scrumpy? Will I find it scrummy?

Why do the English eat tinned baked beans for tea?

Cheers!

 

[Catchoftheday]

Yeah, it's been a while since I last asked you a question, have you been concerned about that?

Hello Mr Northland, no I thought that you was letting me have a little rest because the last time there was quite a lot of questions :redface:

I asked the German man if his gloves had thumbs, should I ask you as well?

I don't know any German men, I don't know what sort of gloves that German men wear you can ask me if you really want to:redface:


Are the letters S and Z the same in England?

Mr Northland I'm not very good at smelling and stuff but even I know that there aren't any letters S or Z in England maybe you are thinking of the Suez Canal?


Do you shovel snow?

We don't get very much snow in England this means that opportunities for snow shovelling are somewhat limited this means that I have not had a good snow shovelling session for years now.

However when it does snow again I will be rady with my shovel just in case somebody wants me to shovel a bit of snow.

 

[Calboner]

Are the letters S and Z the same in England?

Mr Northland I'm not very good at smelling and stuff but even I know that there aren't any letters S or Z in England maybe you are thinking of the Suez Canal?

Does the Suez Canal smell English?

 

[Catchoftheday]

Hello Mr Hungprepjock

What's Scrumpy? Will I find it scrummy?

Scrumpy is Cider which is falling down water made from apples, scrumpy is old fashioned type of cider which hasn't got any bubbles in it and tends to be somewhat cloudy.

I like it and I think you would too if you tried it

Why do the English eat tinned baked beans for tea?

Baked Beans are good for eating for tea because you don't need to cook them because they are already cooked also they don't cost much money and also they are good for you. So quick nutritional and economical
Also they make you fart :redface:

Cheers!

 

[Catchoftheday]

Does the Suez Canal smell English?

Hello Mr Calboner, I think you will find that the whole world smells English :tongue:

 

[hockeyguy741]

I noticed you've changed your avatar,what has become of the pink panther did you have to let him go due to the global recession or has he gone away on a holiday.....

 

[D_Ivana Dickenside]

hey catch, is it snowing where you are in england?

 

[Catchoftheday]

I noticed you've changed your avatar,what has become of the pink panther did you have to let him go due to the global recession or has he gone away on a holiday.....

Hello Mr Hockeyguy, I have had to let the pink pant her go and have a little rest, the people from the RSPCA have told me that I was a bit mean making him sit on my computer all day, I did tell them that I was doing the same thing myself and that I did think that the Panther was having a nice time on my computer but that didn't seem to matter to them

So I thought I would let him have a little holiday hopefully he is having a nice time and maybe will be back one day

 

[Calboner]

the people from the RSPCA

Is that the Royal Society for the Protection of Computer Animals?

Do many other people in England like the color pink as much as you do?