asking a guy you fancy if he is gay

[jerkitout]

I have been 'stalking' a guy on the train to
work. but not in the creepy sense! i feel
really attracted to him and now i really wana
ask him if he is gay/bi. i only ever see him
between getting off the train and getting on
the underground. even trying to make eye
contact is hard because he always reads a
paper! can i approach him with something like
'excuse me, do you mind me just asking if you
are gay or bi?'. if i dont say something to
him soon i may get a different train just so i dont
see him again

 

[ohhhey]

It sounds like he's a complete stranger who you've never even talked to. Walking up to him and asking him that seems way too personal a question, and he might not even feel safe in answering it honestly. If you really really want to make contact with him, I guess you should just hand him a piece of paper with a message or contact details on it.

You should probably bear in mind that if you've never talked to him, then it's just a physical attraction. Anything else about him is just your fantasy or imagination, and he may be nothing like you expect. He also might not be single.

 

[Lng_1]

You're right... you are stalking him and it is a bit creepy...... IMHO

 

[Smartalk]

I totally agree with what the others ahve said totally In light of this, I would say get a different train sooner rather than later so as to avoid making a fool of yourself or likelyhood of problems.

If he felt the same way as you I think he would be just as keen to make eye contact, but that is not the case. In fact he could be trying to avoid you, because he thinks your stalking him. We don't realise what we say about ourselves with our body language. Non verbal communication is a very real and powerful thing.

 

[D_BarryBunwarmer]

Try talking to him first

 

[B_Nick4444]

can i approach him with something like
'excuse me, do you mind me just asking if you
are gay or bi?'.

I shouldn't try that, if I were you

 

[B_Nick8]

Whether or not he's gay, it still doesn't mean that he's available, or that he's interested in you. I know I'd be pretty offended if a complete stranger asked me a question that personal. Or any personal question for that matter.

 

[2322]

Chat him up. Get to know the guy. If you see him everyday on the train, that's an intro right there. The regulars on my train talk to each other. Get the same paper he does, read a story in it, and then ask him about it. Simply say you notice he reads the same paper. Intros don't have to have iron-clad reasons. Offer him a mint or something. It matters little. See how he reacts, see if he's really attractive to you.

Get to know him and, if you like him, see where it goes. You should be able to know pretty quickly if he's friendly or not and then take it from there. Most guys talk about current or past relationships pretty quickly. You should also be able to tell if there's any romantic interest on his part.

I learned the hard way not to let these things go on and on without end. Shit or get off the pot. If you don't, you'll continue building interest in this guy until he's all you think about and then his possible rebuff will be hard to take.