Asking a straight guy to suck his dick

[WellHung83]

I feel that as long as the two guys are consenting to the act of getting a BJ regardless of what they personally feel their true sexual orientation is outside of their one on one personal and therefor private encounter, then it should be fine and both men should not be made to feel guilty because of their choice.

Life is confusing enough as it is and sexuality is also a weird beast to get to know and try to figure out in a world that has given us a lot of options and outlets to explore so many taboo desires and feelings regarding sex and sexuality, so getting is muddied and confusing as to what to label your ' true ' sexual identity is understandable. Nothing is really black and white and its all shades of grey for the most part.

 

[WellHung83]

Putting this question in terms of regular life experience, I have to say I've never had any other male ask if he could suck my dick out of the blue. There have been times at parties where a buddy or two of mine would make a joke about sucking me off but it remained that...just a joke. I have had many experiences where the guy was wasted and wanted to get affectionate or amorous especially at parties or clubs, and I could see he wanted more contact than a hug or a quick little kiss. If another young guy feels some affection for me, he's going to do what guys always do: they come on to me. Sometimes in a clumsy way, some times in a more subtle manner. But the intention and the desire is there to "hook up" in some way. In this example which is a little less obnoxious than point blank asking to give me head, it is fairly easy to let the guy down with some kindness and with a friendly reminder that we'll still be friends tomorrow, and that him pushing me into some ackward situation could very well bring harm to our relationship. I don't feel that any come-on from another guy is necessarily disrespectful. In actuality I think it simple means that he cares about me in a certain way but doesn't have the social skills to be able to express that interest. I've noticed that after the situation calms down some, all I have to say is "I love you, bro", and hug him, the sexual tension seems to fade.

That is actually really sweet :biggrin1: But you touch on an interesting idea which I never really thought of before - do you think that some straight guys get confused about wanting to be ' close ' to another male as wanting it to be a sexual thing when in reality they just want what most females take for granted and that is a close physical relationship with another male that still has the, eh...feelings of a sexual relationship but not actually sexual in its want and context since all they want is someone to hold them, validate them and make them feel its okay to want to be close to another male and not be labelled a wuss or another horrible term to attack their masculinity ?

 

[FRE]

That is actually really sweet :biggrin1: But you touch on an interesting idea which I never really thought of before - do you think that some straight guys get confused about wanting to be ' close ' to another male as wanting it to be a sexual thing when in reality they just want what most females take for granted and that is a close physical relationship with another male that still has the, eh...feelings of a sexual relationship but not actually sexual in its want and context since all they want is someone to hold them, validate them and make them feel its okay to want to be close to another male and not be labelled a wuss or another horrible term to attack their masculinity ?

Some gay men also seek sex when what they really want is affection. Also, some men seek sex because they don't know how else to relate. Sometimes they even seem relieved if the proposition is turned down and an alternative activity is suggested, such as having dinner together.

 

[alwaysguessing]

Some gay men also seek sex when what they really want is affection.

Is that wrong? I always consider sex with a woman to be a demonstration of affection. I've never been able to view a woman as nothing but a wet hole to blow my load in. She's a person with intelligence and emotions and desires. If you just want to get off, use a rubber glove and some baby oil, not a human being.

My .02

 

[Countryguy63]

Don't forget to tell him he's a nice guy!

:rofl:

Ok, now why isn't he a nice guy?

 

[FRE]

Is that wrong? I always consider sex with a woman to be a demonstration of affection. I've never been able to view a woman as nothing but a wet hole to blow my load in. She's a person with intelligence and emotions and desires. If you just want to get off, use a rubber glove and some baby oil, not a human being.

My .02

No doubt we both know that some men see a woman as nothing more than, as you put it, a wet hole, and have no respect for the woman. Some gay men treat other men the same way.

 

[B_Hung Jon]

That is actually really sweet :biggrin1: But you touch on an interesting idea which I never really thought of before - do you think that some straight guys get confused about wanting to be ' close ' to another male as wanting it to be a sexual thing when in reality they just want what most females take for granted and that is a close physical relationship with another male that still has the, eh...feelings of a sexual relationship but not actually sexual in its want and context since all they want is someone to hold them, validate them and make them feel its okay to want to be close to another male and not be labelled a wuss or another horrible term to attack their masculinity ?

Perfect question, WellHung83. Yeh, I think that most guys I know want to have a super intimate relationship with their best male friends but without the sexual fears and confusion. Also most of us guys are socialized to feel that if you're physically close to another person, like with a girl, that means intimacy. At the same time there's also the taboo of being "gay" mixed up in the closeness between two guys, so it's a double-edged sword. Just because some buddy of mine wants to be tight with me doesn't mean he wants to "suck my dick" or "fuck my butt". But those presuppositions are there anyway. Plus the way we males are physically constructed, if we sleep in the same bed with each other or spoon, sooner or later someone's going to get a woody, which makes things more embarrassing and confusing. There's a joke on my campus that if you spend the night in the same bed as your buddy and ended up cuddling some, you'd describe it as "I went all gay on him last night", even if there was no sexual activity at all. It's just a way to ease the homosexual fear and content of the situation with humor (like "no homo"). I sleep with a few of my best male friends all the time, and usually it's just "sleeping", and it just feels good. Like sleeping with your brothers and sisters when you were kids. It doesn't have much sexual content to it although it demands a certain level of trust and care for the other person.

 

[Indelicate]

Argh. Really, how many times does this have to be explained?

A man can be completely comfortable with his sexuality and NOT want a blowjob from another man.

More than your (1) and (2), it depends MOST on (3): Is he open to engaging in sexual activity with other men?

That's why I prefaced my response with "It's all in the approach, but often the answer will be no" which you left out when you quoted me.

The person asking is not likely going to know if the straight man is open to engaging in sexual activity with other men unless he asks.

Refusal of the request should be honored without harassment.

 

[alwaysguessing]

Ok, now why isn't he a nice guy?

It's in reference to the "nice guys finish last thread". Some folks maintain that, when a woman is not sexually interested in a man, the default excuse is to tell him he is a "nice guy". It was a joke. (haha.)

No doubt we both know that some men see a woman as nothing more than, as you put it, a wet hole, and have no respect for the woman. Some gay men treat other men the same way.

So sad in either case. :frown1:

 

[teasedsilly]

I would think it's just simple politeness to try to approach partners of the same sexual orientation. If I know a girl is a lesbian I don't try to hook up with her. It's called respecting someone's sexual preference.

 

[alwaysguessing]

i would think it's just simple politeness to try to approach partners of the same sexual orientation. If i know a girl is a lesbian i don't try to hook up with her. It's called respecting someone's sexual preference.

THANK YOU

bloody caps lock modifier!

 

[Countryguy63]

It's in reference to the "nice guys finish last thread". Some folks maintain that, when a woman is not sexually interested in a man, the default excuse is to tell him he is a "nice guy". It was a joke. (haha.)

Ahh, my bad. Free body punch :slap: for misunderstanding

I would think it's just simple politeness to try to approach partners of the same sexual orientation. If I know a girl is a lesbian I don't try to hook up with her. It's called respecting someone's sexual preference.

I would think that you had been here long enough to see that sexual orientation is not always as clear as it may appear, and beside it's for many it's very fluid and changing.

 

[teasedsilly]

I would think that you had been here long enough to see that sexual orientation is not always as clear as it may appear, and beside it's for many it's very fluid and changing.

If, as a gay or bisexual man, you know another man identifies as straight, it's only polite to respect that and keep things Platonic. To project one's own "fluid and changing" orientation on others and assume they are repressing if they claim to be straight is pushy and annoying.

 

[B_Hung Jon]

I would think it's just simple politeness to try to approach partners of the same sexual orientation. If I know a girl is a lesbian I don't try to hook up with her. It's called respecting someone's sexual preference.

Ok, change the scenario. I know a very "out" lesbian at my college who tried to jump my bones a few years back. I don't think she was disrespecting me. I think she got a little too amorous and went for it. She even give me the line, "I haven't had a cock in me for a while. I need one". So what should I have done? Be pissed at her because she disrespected me, punch her out? or never talked to her again? I did none of these things. I just talked to her for a while until she realized what she had said to me. I also told her that she was very attractive to me but that I thought if we hooked up, it would make things complicated for our friendship. Eventually she agreed with me and made her way back to her dorm. There are ways to deal with people's inappropriate behavior without hurting them.

 

[Countryguy63]

If, as a gay or bisexual man, you know another man identifies as straight, it's only polite to respect that and keep things Platonic. To project one's own "fluid and changing" orientation on others and assume they are repressing if they claim to be straight is pushy and annoying.

It's "projecting" if you "ask"? Who said that someone is "repressing" if they said "No, I'm straight"?

 

[rob_just_rob]

I've never been able to view a woman as nothing but a wet hole to blow my load in.

Well played. :bigok:

 

[DiscoBoy]

If, as a gay or bisexual man, you know another man identifies as straight, it's only polite to respect that and keep things Platonic. To project one's own "fluid and changing" orientation on others and assume they are repressing if they claim to be straight is pushy and annoying.

Why did you single out only gay/bisexual men? Are you implying that you believe it's perfectly acceptable for a straight man to come on to a woman he knows identifies as a lesbian? Or a lesbian coming on to a straight woman?

 

[teasedsilly]

It's "projecting" if you "ask". Who said that someone is "repressing" if they said "No, I'm straight"?

The thread is about propositioning straight men, so I assumed in the example you already know he's straight. The OP even asked if it was relevant whether he had a girlfriend.

Anyway, the whole going up to someone and asking for sex is the creepy part of this thread. I don't have as much of a problem with the idea of trying to ask out someone you know is straight, as trying to give said person a bj. Even if a gorgeous woman did that to me, I'd probably assume she had herpes and tell her to buzz off. That's really slutty. But if a guy knew I was straight and was telling me he wanted to suck me off and tried to convince me it wasn't a gay thing (as if I just had inhibitions that needed to be lowered) that would really annoy me AND creep me out.

 

[teasedsilly]

Why did you single out only gay/bisexual men? Are you implying that you believe it's perfectly acceptable for a straight man to come on to a woman he knows identifies as a lesbian? Or a lesbian coming on to a straight woman?

Read post #150.

 

[teasedsilly]

Ok, change the scenario. I know a very "out" lesbian at my college who tried to jump my bones a few years back. I don't think she was disrespecting me. I think she got a little too amorous and went for it. She even give me the line, "I haven't had a cock in me for a while. I need one". So what should I have done? Be pissed at her because she disrespected me, punch her out? or never talked to her again? I did none of these things. I just talked to her for a while until she realized what she had said to me. I also told her that she was very attractive to me but that I thought if we hooked up, it would make things complicated for our friendship. Eventually she agreed with me and made her way back to her dorm. There are ways to deal with people's inappropriate behavior without hurting them.

I didn't say one should hurt the person.