Asking Family members For Money....

[HellsKitchenmanNYC]

Desperate times call for desperate measures for sure. Has anyone done this recently? What happened?
The whole process is so demoralizing and demeaning to your spirit. Recently all the money I had saved from a very lucrative p/t job ran out. And when it rains it pours in my world.
I've been trying for 2 weeks to write this email to one of my brothers asking for 1500. Not a ton of money but now it seems like a million to me. I can't find the right words and keep rewriting the email. Something in my head keeps telling me not to send it. I'm going to email b/c I think if I call on the phone I will have a stroke trying to get the words out right..also he just renovated his whole house and god only knows if he can spare it now.
What would you do? Would it be hard for you also to admit you've hit a rough patch?

 

[D_Tintagel_Demondong]

Yep. My student loan doesn't arrive until Tuesday or Wednesday. I've been surviving on handouts and my very, very part-time job. I've been reading like crazy because I only bought my text books this week. I have some mid terms next week. I'm off to an awful start.

I'm grateful to have family and friends who I can rely on. As I wrote last month, you know who your friends are when you are most in need.

Edit:
Hells, he'll get the money back, so don't feel any guilt in asking.

 

[B_Morning_Glory]

yea that is true Rex. before hubby went back to trucking we were living off of my disability check every month. i have in the past ask my family for money. they couldn't spare it but they could go buy a car or laptop for my sisters a few hours later. his family helped out when they could. it is really hard to ask for help from a family member. not knowing if they can or will help. i wish u luck on this hellskitchenmannyc.

 

[HellsKitchenmanNYC]

Well here's some good news. I just sold a printer/scanner/copier/fax I found in my basement to someone from Craigslist. Now I only need 1480! lol

 

[Mem]

I would not feel bad asking my parents for money. I would not ask my sister, cause she does not have money to give me. I would hope that my sister would go to my parents first if she needed money, but if they were not around I would not mind if she asked me for money.

 

[HellsKitchenmanNYC]

I would not feel bad asking my parents for money. I would not ask my sister, cause she does not have money to give me. I would hope that my sister would go to my parents first if she needed money, but if they were not around I would not mind if she asked me for money.

Ack I'm feeling more like a dog as time goes by!

 

[D_Percival Puddleford Pukehorn]

well if you have that little voice telling you it's a bad idea then it's there for a reason. I mean it all depends on how close you are with your family members when it comes to money. I've loan money to my older brother in the past and recently I was fucked with my electric bill and he gave me a hand out. I guess i should feel lucky that i can count on him with money or at least be able to feel comfortable to ask him for it.
I'd say go for it unless you have a bad history with him.
I wish you luck.

 

[HellsKitchenmanNYC]

Marluc I'm just at a bad impass and there's a chance I could lose the apt. I've lived in for 20 something years. It's a weird feeling that as weird as the economy is now that all that stands bween you and being homeless is 1500 dollars. Life has many weird turns.....as a certain rabbi said Wheh bad things happen to good people....

 

[Mem]

Ack I'm feeling more like a dog as time goes by!

Don't. If you had a way to help a family member and they asked for help I'm sure you would try as hard as you could to help them.

 

[D_Percival Puddleford Pukehorn]

well then i'd say go for it. I mean $1500 isn't really a lot and if your brother sees that you REALLY need it he'll do his best i'm sure to give it to you.

 

[2322]

I think the thing to do is level with your brother and tell him what's going on and just ask him if he can help. There's no shame in asking for money when you need it. It could be worse. You could need a kidney. If he can do it then he will. If he can't then he can't. Right now times are tough and we all have to depend upon each other. You'll have many years to pay him back and maybe help him out sometime.

I wouldn't ask it in an email though. I'd call him so you can address the issue directly and answer any questions. It's much more personal. He won't think any less of you no matter how sheepish you might be.

Good luck!

 

[D_Tintagel_Demondong]

Marluc I'm just at a bad impass and there's a chance I could lose the apt. I've lived in for 20 something years. It's a weird feeling that as weird as the economy is now that all that stands bween you and being homeless is 1500 dollars. Life has many weird turns.....as a certain rabbi said Wheh bad things happen to good people....

Get a roomate. Rent your cock out. Sell some more stuff. Ask the landlord for a stay of execution. Duct tape yourself to the floor.

Have you tried every possible option? I'm sure that your family will understand, especially with today's economy.

If you get $1500 this month, will you also be able to make your rent next month? If not, then you have a tough choice to make. I wish you the best.

 

[Mem]

Marluc I'm just at a bad impass and there's a chance I could lose the apt. I've lived in for 20 something years. It's a weird feeling that as weird as the economy is now that all that stands bween you and being homeless is 1500 dollars. Life has many weird turns.....as a certain rabbi said Wheh bad things happen to good people....

If that money is only going to help you for one month then start looking for another place. Because what is going to happen next month? Try to get a roommate or even sublet it if it's a good cheap apartment so that you do not lose it.

 

[Mem]

Aren't the eviction laws crazy in NYC. I've heard of people who stayed a year in a place without paying rent.

DON'T give up that pink and green kitchen.

 

[HellsKitchenmanNYC]

Part of my problem is this making me feel like the worlds' biggest loser. A loser. a loser. I've done everything I can think I can think of to make money when it's all falling down around me. I'm trying but asking people who might not have it at this moment makes me ill. I think I'm gonna have a stroke.

 

[HellsKitchenmanNYC]

In the long run it almost doesn't matter. I got a response and It's a no go. So now my next option..ya know..you have to change options as things progress. I'm looking in CraigsList for people that need roommates. I'm prob gonna have to take a small buyout of my apartment. Whatever. I'm really tired of worrying about it. I could not be more stressed out right now if I tried to. Stress. Stress and stress. I'm tired of it. Maybe losing an apartment wouldn't be that bad as much as I love my place as long as I had a room somewhere.

 

[Ethyl]

Part of my problem is this making me feel like the worlds' biggest loser. A loser. a loser. I've done everything I can think I can think of to make money when it's all falling down around me. I'm trying but asking people who might not have it at this moment makes me ill. I think I'm gonna have a stroke.

Please don't have a stroke. It's natural to feel like a failure because you're in financial need and must rely on the generosity of others. Speaking from recent experience, asking for financial help requires great courage. If you outline everything you're doing to create income (it is fair for them to ask what you're doing at the moment to rectify the situation and details of your future plans) they'll be more likely to give you what you need if they can afford it. If it makes you feel better present a payment plan to them. Jason Els is right. Many of us have to depend on each other to make it though whatever financial crisis we're suffering. Your family and friends are supposed to be there to provide support which can come in many forms. Accept them all graciously and be thankful for the healthy relationships you have. Good luck. :smile:

EDIT: Just read your last response. Cancel my two cents but good luck in your continued search for extra income.

 

[2322]

Ahhh damnit.

 

[HellsKitchenmanNYC]

MercurialBliss thx for that thoughtfull post. I'm stuck in a bad economy trying to start my own company based on what I do.It just sucks that everything sucks right now. It's a hard win to get clients and at least the wall is there for me to bang my head on it.

 

[HellsKitchenmanNYC]

I just feel weird because my whole life in NYC i was always somehow able to land on my feet and the times in my life right now just seem insurrmountable. I've gotten myself out of alot of jams but right now.....not so much