Asking for Head ok?

[buthey21]

Hey all, would love some help on this

So my girl and I have been going out for just over 6 months, it’s been great! Of course with a relationship we’ve had our sexual hangups (like anyone else) but this one I think is the hardest. To make a long story short I’ve never received head from her. This isn’t to complain at all, she does a great job with jerking me off and I enjoy it of course! But I also finger her, kiss her all over, eat her out as often as she lets me. According to her she tried to put me in her mouth and “almost died” but I just remember her basically licking the head. She’s apparently nervous she won’t like giving me a blowjob and that’s deterred her from trying.

We made a very strict point that we won’t force the other to do anything, and I never would. She also said as we were first doing physical things that she wasn’t comfortable “yet” to do that. The hard part is that I’m giving her oral and would love the potential for that in return for me. Any tips on how to bring that conversation up?

I don’t want to be a pain to her but it’s getting hard not to be jealous

Thanks!

 

[thickcockjames]

Some women just aren't into giving head. You said something interesting though "...eat her out as often as she lets me." Do you mean that sometimes you'll start going down on her and then she tells you not to, or something else?

I think my answer is you need to be able to have these conversations with your partner though. Nothing should be off limits when it comes to conversations if you're going to have a relationship that lasts. Her "not comfortable 'yet'" phrase also leads me to believe she just isn't that into giving head.

Happy relationships exist when both partners are fulfilled, and being fulfilled sexually is incredibly important to some people and to others its not so much. You need to decide where your priorities lie, and decide if your relationship with this woman is more important than getting head. It sounds shallow to put it that way, but it's not. If that's something you enjoy, and it's something you want from a sexual partner, then you should be able to express that. If it's something you're willing to set aside because everything else about the relationship is good, you should still talk to her about it and express that, but be content with the fact that you may have to wait a while to get head, and the times might be few and far between when it happens.

 

[buthey21]

Some women just aren't into giving head. You said something interesting though "...eat her out as often as she lets me." Do you mean that sometimes you'll start going down on her and then she tells you not to, or something else?

I think my answer is you need to be able to have these conversations with your partner though. Nothing should be off limits when it comes to conversations if you're going to have a relationship that lasts. Her "not comfortable 'yet'" phrase also leads me to believe she just isn't that into giving head.

Happy relationships exist when both partners are fulfilled, and being fulfilled sexually is incredibly important to some people and to others its not so much. You need to decide where your priorities lie, and decide if your relationship with this woman is more important than getting head. It sounds shallow to put it that way, but it's not. If that's something you enjoy, and it's something you want from a sexual partner, then you should be able to express that. If it's something you're willing to set aside because everything else about the relationship is good, you should still talk to her about it and express that, but be content with the fact that you may have to wait a while to get head, and the times might be few and far between when it happens.

Sometimes she thinks she's not "clean enough" or is afraid it might taste or smell bad, thats more what has happened! Its more than anything just something she's said she's not against but is afraid of not liking. And I want to kinda figure out the best way to bring it up without seeming like I'm unsatisfied where we are. Cause sure I'm disappointed sometimes, but it's not something I hold against her.

 

[thickcockjames]

Sometimes she thinks she's not "clean enough" or is afraid it might taste or smell bad, thats more what has happened! It’s more than anything just something she's said she's not against but is afraid of not liking. And I want to kinda figure out the best way to bring it up without seeming like I'm unsatisfied where we are. Cause sure I'm disappointed sometimes, but it's not something I hold against her.

Yeah that makes sense. I’ve been with a few women who are only into oral sex if it’s at the beginning. Once a penis has gone in the vagina, oral is off the table. I’m absolutely not like haha.

Maybe see how she’d feel if you guys took a shower together, the ritual of cleaning together or cleaning one another while your doing some fore play in the shower can be fun. Then she will know you are both clean.

Taking a bath together if you have a tub that can accommodate that, you can give her massages and set a whole mood with it.

 

[ILoveGames48]

I’d be going down on her for while and then look up at her tell her why don’t she go down on you..

See what happens

A lot of girls/ women like sucking dick but don’t want cum in their mouth.. and if they don’t want it in their mouth then the guy shouldn’t force it

 

[Oldcowboy]

I dom

I’d be going down on her for while and then look up at her tell her why don’t she go down on you..

See what happens

A lot of girls/ women like sucking dick but don’t want cum in their mouth.. and if they don’t want it in their mouth then the guy shouldn’t force it

I dominate my cocksuckers. But—-if I ejaculate it’s their choice where.

 

[Samantha V]

When I've had reluctant partners, putting yoghurt or chocolate spread on my cock seemed to help. Especially the flavored yoghurt! Also, you need patience - just licking to begin with and build up to deeper swallowing.

 

[mitchellk]

Have you asked if she has trauma? Sometimes people don't like certain sex acts because it's a lot of baggage connected to it.

 

[JackedBro]

I’d just talk to her about man. You should always be able to ask for what you want as should she. I ask for head all the time. Sometimes I get it, sometimes I get the whole “we’re at dinner at my parents, shut up” thing (but then she’s horny and mission accomplished).

Transparency is important sexually. The last thing you want if you guys end up together is for one of you to be unsatisfied. That leads to problems.

My good buddy’s wife never sucks his dick and it’s a real problem. He’s massive so that is part of it but she doesn’t even try. I think it’s her being self conscious and too in her head (it’s the same with their sex life in general). He was a major player before her and she is beautiful but he is now stuck jerking off more than he did when he was in high school and it’s causing them marital issues.

Communication is key. Just ask her tactfully and gently.

 

[radiant-entrance]

I think that is fine if it is done with consent and respect, yet I often feel like I’m seeking that same understanding from my husband. It’s clear that this disconnect stems from a breakdown in communication and a fear of being rejected or judged by the person whose opinion matters most to me.

 

[mitchellk]

I’d just talk to her about man. You should always be able to ask for what you want as should she. I ask for head all the time. Sometimes I get it, sometimes I get the whole “we’re at dinner at my parents, shut up” thing (but then she’s horny and mission accomplished).

Transparency is important sexually. The last thing you want if you guys end up together is for one of you to be unsatisfied. That leads to problems.

My good buddy’s wife never sucks his dick and it’s a real problem. He’s massive so that is part of it but she doesn’t even try. I think it’s her being self conscious and too in her head (it’s the same with their sex life in general). He was a major player before her and she is beautiful but he is now stuck jerking off more than he did when he was in high school and it’s causing them marital issues.

Communication is key. Just ask her tactfully and gently.

Hey, have your friend DM me here. Emotionally void, no strings attached head and worship is my specialty.

 

[DariusRex]

Hey all, would love some help on this

So my girl and I have been going out for just over 6 months, it’s been great! Of course with a relationship we’ve had our sexual hangups (like anyone else) but this one I think is the hardest. To make a long story short I’ve never received head from her. This isn’t to complain at all, she does a great job with jerking me off and I enjoy it of course! But I also finger her, kiss her all over, eat her out as often as she lets me. According to her she tried to put me in her mouth and “almost died” but I just remember her basically licking the head. She’s apparently nervous she won’t like giving me a blowjob and that’s deterred her from trying.

We made a very strict point that we won’t force the other to do anything, and I never would. She also said as we were first doing physical things that she wasn’t comfortable “yet” to do that. The hard part is that I’m giving her oral and would love the potential for that in return for me. Any tips on how to bring that conversation up?

I don’t want to be a pain to her but it’s getting hard not to be jealous

Thanks!

GET. RID. OF. HER
Harsh but necessary. Usually women are enthusiastic head givers at the start and lose that enthusiasm as time progresses. You're not even getting the initial 'enthusiasm' phase.
She has 2 choices: get over it, grow up and get sucking OR tell her she doesnt have to give you head ever but she has to agree you can get blowjobs elsewhere when you need one. She can't have it both ways.

If I were you i'd just break it off now and save yourself years of frustration, resentment and sex so boring and infrequent you'll thank god it's infrequent.

 

[buthey21]

GET. RID. OF. HER
Harsh but necessary. Usually women are enthusiastic head givers at the start and lose that enthusiasm as time progresses. You're not even getting the initial 'enthusiasm' phase.
She has 2 choices: get over it, grow up and get sucking OR tell her she doesnt have to give you head ever but she has to agree you can get blowjobs elsewhere when you need one. She can't have it both ways.

If I were you i'd just break it off now and save yourself years of frustration, resentment and sex so boring and infrequent you'll thank god it's infrequent.

Breaking up because of our sexual hangups is something I did sadly consider. We’re right at 8 months now, and she’s still not really tried. It’d really hard cause I enjoy eating her out so much!

 

[Brodie888]

Usually, for straight couples, the oral gets less not more as the relationship continues. In the early stages, she will try her hardest to please but once she has you locked in, that all stops.

So considering it's been 8 months, it is unlikely to get better.

Unfortunately this is the kind of thing that causes men to cheat. They enjoy the relationship mostly but there is this one thing that eats at their soul the more that time passes.

Some straight men even turn to gay men for oral because they feel that it's just a blowjob without emotional attachment. Whereas another woman would be an emotional betrayal.

 

[Topher the Gopher]

One can always try the infamous line from American Pie, "Suck me, beautiful."

/joke

 

[buthey21]

I have great news! I finally got a sort of blowjob! And she enjoyed doing it. Here’s to what will hopefully be full blown sucking and fucking

 

[lapdog2001]

Usually, for straight couples, the oral gets less not more as the relationship continues. In the early stages, she will try her hardest to please but once she has you locked in, that all stops.

So considering it's been 8 months, it is unlikely to get better.

What a cliche! I've had 8+ year and 15+ year relationships where oral sex on me is just as frequent as it was in the beginning! I've never encountered any women who decided no more oral sex after she had me 'locked in!'

Unfortunately this is the kind of thing that causes men to cheat. They enjoy the relationship mostly but there is this one thing that eats at their soul the more that time passes.

Some straight men even turn to gay men for oral because they feel that it's just a blowjob without emotional attachment. Whereas another woman would be an emotional betrayal.

That is a HUUUUUGE stretch! I love getting blown, but if my wife could no longer do it, I wouldn't even remotely think of cheating! While I like getting sucked, intercourse is by far the most pleasing, sexual satisfying activity for me. I would never, ever consider getting head from a guy, under any circumstances.

I have great news! I finally got a sort of blowjob! And she enjoyed doing it. Here’s to what will hopefully be full blown sucking and fucking

Congratulations! Hopefully oral play will be a common part of foreplay for the two of you. Oral sex (giving and receiving) has always been part of every relationship I've had, but how much varied with the woman I was with.

In one long term relationship, we started with oral sex virtually every time we had sex. It was the only way she could have an orgasm, and her orgasms turned me on, so it only made sense for us to always include oral in our sex play. In my current relationship (wife) she wants my cock inside her almost as soon as I get hard, so 5 minutes of deep kissing and fondling and she's 'put that thing inside me'! Yes, she still gives me head occasionally, and she is very very good at it, and she enjoys it, but she loves my cock inside her pussy and who am I to argue with that!

 

[Brodie888]

What a cliche! I've had 8+ year and 15+ year relationships where oral sex on me is just as frequent as it was in the beginning! I've never encountered any women who decided no more oral sex after she had me 'locked in!'


That is a HUUUUUGE stretch! I love getting blown, but if my wife could no longer do it, I wouldn't even remotely think of cheating! While I like getting sucked, intercourse is by far the most pleasing, sexual satisfying activity for me. I would never, ever consider getting head from a guy, under any circumstances.


Congratulations! Hopefully oral play will be a common part of foreplay for the two of you. Oral sex (giving and receiving) has always been part of every relationship I've had, but how much varied with the woman I was with.

In one long term relationship, we started with oral sex virtually every time we had sex. It was the only way she could have an orgasm, and her orgasms turned me on, so it only made sense for us to always include oral in our sex play. In my current relationship (wife) she wants my cock inside her almost as soon as I get hard, so 5 minutes of deep kissing and fondling and she's 'put that thing inside me'! Yes, she still gives me head occasionally, and she is very very good at it, and she enjoys it, but she loves my cock inside her pussy and who am I to argue with that!

I am very happy that you are lucky to be in the circumstances that you are in.

The fact that you are aware that what I wrote is in your opinion cliche goes to show that it is a common occurrence.

I am not one to tell others what their deal breakers are, I do not judge, but for some men, they enjoy oral a lot and they go outside their relationship to get it. I know this to be true because I have met plenty in my past and I am sure there a plenty here on this site.