Asking on a date.

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by Journeyman20, May 27, 2010.

  1. Journeyman20

    Journeyman20 New Member

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    Hello,

    I am wondering why i am afraid that women might reject me? I am 20 y/o pretty handsome,lean and with nice abs, but I never ask any girl on a date.. I can easily speak with them about everything, but when I start thinking about calling her on a date I always think that she might reject and thats I dont wanna hear..
     
  2. xX_Sarah_Xx

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    Hey,

    You really shouldn't be afraid to ask a woman on a date. Confidence, that's what it is all about! If you're just not sure, ask her out for a drink first. That's less of a big deal? You can always ask her for a date later if you hit off right :)

    Personally I really appreciate it when a guy is confident enough to ask me out. Tells me you know what you want and aren't afraid to go after it. I don't like to have to keep dropping hints. :tongue: And seeing a guy wants to ask but just doesn't dare often makes me lose interest just because I really like confident guys.

    Good luck with it. It's a little scary at first, but I'm sure it will work out fine :) And if she does say no... that's her loss, not yours!
     
  3. thetramp

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    the fear of rejection is absolutely normal.
    especially if you are rather inexperienced in the specific matter like asking a girl out.
    But without asking you will not get the answer you would like to hear even if there is the chance of the answer you don't want. Thats just how it is.
    There obviously is the chance that there are some more serious reasons behind it, but i think in your case it is just about to jump into the cold water, you will get used to it.
    Just think of the positive effects, it can be very invigorating.
     
  4. adamrove

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    No one likes to be rejected. But look at it this way, if you don't ask, you don't get. Sometimes you just have to bite your lip, take the plunge and go for it, even though it is daunting. I think it would be fair to say that the majority of women want the guy to make the first move
     
  5. petite

    petite New Member

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    You've never asked a woman on a date? Dating is just a numbers game. You've gotta learn that rejection is just going to happen and not be afraid of it or take it personally.
     
  6. HiddenLacey

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    I agree with this poster. I would never ask a guy out. I always expect the guy to make the first move. Not that I couldn't I just want him to approach me if interested. Don't worry about feeling rejection, I bet you get more yes's than no's when you start asking:smile:
     
  7. thetramp

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    i hate that behavior, not that i think i should never ask, but i just like women to be a little more active and initiate things once in a while, instead of using signals i sometimes don't get or get only to late. Plus i just appreciate it if a girl knows what she wants and stands up for it right away.
     
  8. HiddenLacey

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    That's totally understandable! In real life I'm not a take the lead type if female. I like the guy to approach me. I like the guy to initiate just about everything. It's just the type of female I am. It doesn't mean I don't know what I want or that I don't feel like I could get it. I'm more of a you Tarzan me Jane type. If I want something bad enough I will go after it, I just have not had to at this point in my life.
     
  9. D_Barbi_Dahl

    D_Barbi_Dahl Account Disabled

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    Girls like boys who are proactive. Asking girls out doesn't have to be scary. Don't approach it as a full on date. Ask a girl to get starbucks. Or to go shoot pool. Or go get a beer. Another approach would be to suggest you go someplace together that you'd both be going to individually, such as a party or movie. Keep it low key. And casual. You also don't have to start a friendship with a date. You can text, chat or even kick it old school and talk to her on the phone.
     
  10. thetramp

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    Yeah i know what you mean, and i can understand it, i am just saying girls change it up once in a while, and by the way it is a great feeling to succeed ;)
    And by no means i am saying that girls who always like the guy to initiate don't know what they want. Just saying girls who go ahead and ask show that that they do, and i like that.
     
  11. need2bsexy2

    need2bsexy2 Active Member

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    Rejection is a part of life. Get used to it. If you never ask you will never know.
     
  12. D_Alec_Baldtwins

    D_Alec_Baldtwins Account Disabled

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    For what it's worth, from a guy twice your age, the greatest regret I have in life, and I don't have many, is that I didn't take more risks, especially at a younger age. I'm back in the dating scene for the second time, being recently divorced after a long-term marriage. I totally get how you feel, I felt the same at your age, but right now, I'm having the absolute time of my life, mainly because I couldn't care less about rejection anymore. I love to flirt. I do it every chance I get. It leaves a lot of my friends slack-jawed, as though I'm one of those guys that has a special way with women. Nothing could be further from the truth; I'm just not afraid to take the chance.

    Learning to cope with rejection and other negative situations is a very valuable life skill - it will help you immeasurably in your career and personal life. One of the things I've found as I've grown older is that there aren't a lot of people out there who really have any balls, and it's amazing sometimes what you can get, just because you're the one guy who had the courage to ask. As Nike says, "Just Do It." I mean, what's the worst that can happen if a girl says "no". You don't self-immolate; you both move on with your lives and go on to the next opportunity. No harm, no foul. No reason to even feel bad. It doesn't mean she doesn't like you; it just means she's not into you enough to date you. Or she's got a boyfriend. Or is recovering from one. Or is just too busy right now. Whatever. I'm sure there are girls that you'd be less than thrilled to go on a date with if they asked, or times when, for whatever reason, you don't feel like going on a date either.

    And don't put so much pressure on yourself, or her. "You know, I really enjoy your company; do you want to grab a drink or a cup of coffee sometime?"

    If she says "no, thanks", then you smile and say, "It's cool; just thought I'd ask." And the conversation goes on. A little bump in the road. No need to even feel awkward. Just a little, normal human interaction. Even the ones who turn you down often find you endearing for trying, if you have a little class about how you act when you ask, and especially if they say "no" and you're cool about it, and you never know what might happen in the future. You go on with the conversation, each the same people you were before.

    Good luck and have fun!
     
  13. thetramp

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    i know it is off topic, and i don't want to offense anyone here, but it just throws me off every time. People should just not wear a Nike T-Shirt with the slogan "just do it" that comes from a campaign that is all about to conquer one's weaker self, if they obviously did not do it. It should not be allowed for Nike to sell that thing in 4xl.
     
  14. D_Alec_Baldtwins

    D_Alec_Baldtwins Account Disabled

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    Lol, likewise, not to take it off topic, and not to make light of a serious disorder, but one of the best laughs I got recently was from this obese guy I saw out and around who was wearing a T-shirt that said, "I Beat Anorexia".
     
  15. Journeyman20

    Journeyman20 New Member

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    Thanks everyone for such good advices. I'll try not to hesitate anymore. I'll try to ask my partner with whom I danced waltz few days ago.. But shes 7 years older than me.
     
  16. EL_Duderino

    EL_Duderino New Member

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    lots of people have that problem. if you just start sucking it up and asking soon it wont even be a big deal to you. sometimes you get rejected and sometimes you make out. either way it shouldn't be a big deal there are plenty of fish in the sea. try going up to a group of girls and talking to all of them. it will be scary at first but once you realize you can handle that talking to one girl wont be a big deal at all. good luck :) and happy hunting....
     
  17. Iron_man_69

    Iron_man_69 Active Member

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    just go for it, like someone said above they regret not asking many times more...the worst that can happen is that you get a polite no. If no, most will be flattered and polite, more than likely it'll be a yes even if it goes nowhere it'll still be an experience you wouldn't have had if you sat at home
     
  18. wellhung9

    wellhung9 New Member

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    Getting rejected isn't as bad as you think it will be. Honestly, if you do get rejected a lot of the time it has nothing to do with you. They might have a boyfriend for example, or whatever. If you're good at talking to girls you're already a step ahead of the game, because you don't have to worry about being nervous and not knowing what to say on your date. Good luck
     
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