Asking one to wear condom?

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by B_Lightkeeper, Feb 18, 2008.

  1. B_Lightkeeper

    B_Lightkeeper New Member

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    Do you feel a little guilty or strange requesting a sexual partner to wear a condom when having sex?

    I guess it could depend on if it's a total stranger, married guy or someone you know has sexual relations a lot with different people.

    Since I have a fetish for them, I really enjoy it whether I'm fucking, being fucked, sucking or on the receiving end.

    I think one person one time got offended at my suggestion of using protection.
     
  2. BremerChick

    BremerChick New Member

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    Yeah I dont see it that way um protection is protection. So if you ask them to "wrap it up" and they say i dont want to, then u reply with well then I guess we aint having sex. simple as that.
     
  3. SpoiledPrincess

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    I'd never feel guilty, if someone is prepared to have sex with you with no condom you know for certain they're having sex with other strangers without a condom, so that makes it doubly important.
     
  4. D_Roland_D_Hay

    D_Roland_D_Hay Account Disabled

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    No guilt or shame at all...and I don't feel bad at all when someone requests that I use a condom. I thought it was a given!
     
  5. jason_els

    jason_els <img border="0" src="/images/badges/gold_member.gi

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    NONE. I let it be known straight away, no anal without condoms.
     
  6. hung

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    A Condom is the best alternative available for safe sex. The only other proven method is no sex at all.

    Now, if you masturbate yourself, just make sure that you wash your hands both before and afterward.

    Must always be careful.

    I enjoyed this topic.
     
  7. DC_DEEP

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    I absolutely do NOT feel guilty or strange or embarrassed to insist on condom use.

    If anyone shows the slightest hesitation or offense when you suggest a condom, THAT'S A RED FLAG THAT THIS IS SOMEONE YOU DO NOT WANT TO HAVE SEX WITH. PERIOD.
     
  8. Lex

    Lex
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    I agree with those that have said that I do not feel uncomfortable talking about and insisting upon condom usage.

    When I was single, I would also ask about people's HIV status. Not that their answering changed the fact that we would use condoms if we had sex---in my opinion, its good habit to be forthright. Most people either do not know their status or lie about it. People assume they are STD free until they become sick and many STDs don't have noticeabe effects until a person has been infected for some time.

    In my mind, inquiring about HIV status and insisting upon condom use shows respect for both yourself and your potential sexual partners.
     
  9. D_Kay_Sarah_Sarah

    D_Kay_Sarah_Sarah Account Disabled

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    Dont ask, insist :yup:
     
  10. aspshortjock

    aspshortjock New Member

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    I don't ask. I just put one on. I don't even give them the option of suggesting otherwise. If they don't like it, well, the door is 10 feet away and they can put their clothes on and go home. This has happened to me once already, and I sent the guy on his way. Other guys have thanked me for just putting one on without them prompting me, so I figure my way is the correct way.

    It should be a no-brainer in this day and age. If we're not together, we use a condom, and if we are together, we use a condom until I know I can trust you.
     
  11. Hockeytiger

    Hockeytiger Active Member

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    I have to agree with DC 100%. It is a huge red flag, for multiple reasons.
     
  12. playainda336

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    Think about how guilty they feel after giving you an STD compared to how guilty you feel about asking them to wear a condom.
     
  13. paulobr79

    paulobr79 Member

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    Always use a condom. My girlfriend always wants us to bareback, but I don't want a baby, so won't take the risk. She's ok with it when I just put one on
     
  14. gordonuk

    gordonuk Member

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    i dont wear condoms i hate them, i tell my partners what i like and what i dont like, its either sex ore not at all.
    its a mutual decision to have sex without or not at all.
    it takes two to tango and down to personal choices
     
  15. yngjock20

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    Do I have a problem asking a partner to use a condom HELL NO! Safe sex is hot sex.

    However, I do believe myself to be a bit of a hypocrite as I think that Treasure Island and Hot Desert Knights studios make some of the hottest porn point blank and I personally can't stand any Chi Chi LaRue made movies. They just suck.
     
  16. D_Roland_D_Hay

    D_Roland_D_Hay Account Disabled

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    Excellent statement...I will have to remember that one for the future!
     
  17. DC_DEEP

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    You have posted several times about this, so I have to ask: how often are you tested for HIV, and are you a bug chaser?
     
  18. Lex

    Lex
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    Don't feel like a hypocrite. As jason_els said, "porn is fantasy and my fantasies do not include condoms."

    All the men in those bareback movies are HIV+ or are presumed to be.
     
  19. Bbucko

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    Agreed entirely.

    Protecting your HIV negative status is your responsibility alone, no one else's. Going without condoms is a fast track to infection no matter how "unlikely" your potential partner's past exposure to HIV might be, no matter how much that person reassures you.

    And contrary to much of what you may hear, living with HIV is not a walk in the park. Not everyone responds to the meds nor can everyone tolerate them. And even the best regimen fails eventually, leaving you with few options.

    Life is not a porn movie.
     
  20. Osiris

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    I want to derail a minute and just say for those of you who do not know Bbucko, this is the man who all people should listen to on the matter of AIDS. He is not speaking from sound bites or blatherings in magazines, he is speaking from his heart, his very well educated and informed mind, and his life experience. All of these are invaluable and he has even given me much to consider and a new outlook on this killer in our midst.

    Bbucko, I know our conversations happened in private, but I want the world to know I thank you for spending that afternoon educatng me. I am better of for the encounter and I know Jason and Lee are better for my having talked to you. Jason and Lee are two neighbors, a long term committed gay couple in my area that are both in advanced stages of AIDS. I personally took on the task of helping them when they need it. I don't think I could have come that far without your education.

    Back to the topic.

    Asking your partner to use a condom? Yes you should and no you should not feel awkward about it. It shows respect for you and your partner that you would go that route.

    Life is too short. It doesn't need to be made even shorter by foolish sexual judgement.
     
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