Ass Wiping

D_Diesel Oyl

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Ok, if you find this gross/weird, sorry -

So I eat like a normal person, not a lot of junk food. I take a dump, wipe my ass, and I keep wiping, and can't wipe it clean. After about 6-7 wipes, I figure ok, good enough. Then about 10 minutes later I gotta wipe again...and when I do, it's like I never wiped after taking the dump.

WTF ?

Is this a condition or what?
 

CALAMBO

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odd but valid ?....maybe you need to use a better brand of paper...some of that cheap stuff is poor quality.....try a 2 ply...something that is skid proof...no need to thank me...care not to re-visit this event...but good luck guy.....lol
 

Freeboy

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After about 6-7 wipes, I figure ok, good enough. Then about 10 minutes later I gotta wipe again...and when I do, it's like I never wiped after taking the dump.

When you figure "ok, good enough" .. is that you coming to that conclusion or are you really finished? What you might want to do is to sit a little longer just to make sure you're finished going to the bathroom. Obviously, if you have to wipe 10 minutes later, then your body was not finished. I found that when I take my time, I get better results.

And might I add .. yes .. this is kinda gross :eek:, but no offense. lol.. I totally understand and respect your need to ask that question.
 

chadstallion

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Ok, if you find this gross/weird, sorry -

So I eat like a normal person, not a lot of junk food. I take a dump, wipe my ass, and I keep wiping, and can't wipe it clean. After about 6-7 wipes, I figure ok, good enough. Then about 10 minutes later I gotta wipe again...and when I do, it's like I never wiped after taking the dump.

WTF ?

Is this a condition or what?

a couple ways to stop this from getting out of hand.
1. shave your ass; getting rid of all that ass hair [onto which the shit clings] will cut down the multiple wipes.
2. use a moist warm towel [ not a regular one of your favorites; this towel is reserved ONLY for this task] and pat - not wipe - your ass crack. Dab the area a few times, then use the dry end of the towel to dab it dry. Use Goldbond or some other medicated powder to keep it nice and clean, dry and, if you are lucky, rim-able.
3. after taking the dump the BEST way to clean up is to jump in the shower and take your morning shower. I'm on a regular enough morning schedule that I can usually do that; toilet/shower/wash it clean.

{learned most of this from listening to Howard Stern}
 

Flashy

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Chad's routine stated above is probably the best, but should it not be at times of the day when you will shower, i would highly recommend that you begin using "Wet Ones" wipes. first of all, the anti-bacterial nature of the liquid in them should assist, not to mention, using these wipes are always cleaner in general, and doubtless smell better.

TBH i have always found it strange, that with infants, we wipe them regularly, and thoroughly with these type of things (wet ones or other types) then as we get older, we switch to dry paper. sort of strange considering.

try "Wet Ones" (or another brand)

also, you may wish to invest in a two-in-one toilet/bidet, which i have, and frankly, is an excellent investment should cleanliness down there be your concern.

i have always found it strange that we wash our hands with soap and water after using the bathroom, yet clean our butt, where the yucky stuff just came out, with dry pieces of paper.

bidet/wet ones for me, thanks, and a nice clean rear-end.
 

kissoon

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try "Wet Ones" (or another brand)

also, you may wish to invest in a two-in-one toilet/bidet, which i have, and frankly, is an excellent investment should cleanliness down there be your concern.


This wins the Internet Double-Take (Spit-Take) Post of the Year Award!!!

Shouldn't it be EVERYONE'S concern?!?!
 

earllogjam

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It's hard to install a bidet in your bathroom especially since most US bathrooms aren't designed for one and rarely have the space but have you ever consider getting one of these kind of toilet?

Product List


They are called washlets. Better than a bidet actually because you don't have to move and there is no clean up. They had these great toilets at all the Japanese hotels I've stayed at. There is a retractable pipe thingie that squirts warm water on your asshole after you've you know. You just wash a bit and pat dry with toilet paper. The pressure and temperature are adjustable some models even ossilate the spray. I always felt fresh and clean down there in Japan. Leave it to the Japanese to come up with this, a very anal retentive culture.
 

Flashy

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It's hard to install a bidet in your bathroom especially since most US bathrooms aren't designed for one and rarely have the space but have you ever consider getting one of these kind of toilet?

Product List


They are called washlets. Better than a bidet actually because you don't have to move and there is no clean up. They had these great toilets at all the Japanese hotels I've stayed at. There is a retractable pipe thingie that squirts warm water on your asshole after you've you know. You just wash a bit and pat dry with toilet paper. The pressure and temperature are adjustable some models even ossilate the spray. I always felt fresh and clean down there in Japan. Leave it to the Japanese to come up with this, a very anal retentive culture.

that is what i meant by the "two in one toilet bidet". they are great
 

Hippie Hollow Girl

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My 6 year old son has been having the same problem. I figure he probably isn't done..... so when we are home and this happens I have him go sit in a lukewarm bath and I hand him a wet wash cloth. I have him wash his backside real well with Dial soap. Then we let his backside air dry. It works for him.
 

Jovial

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a couple ways to stop this from getting out of hand.
1. shave your ass; getting rid of all that ass hair [onto which the shit clings] will cut down the multiple wipes.
2. use a moist warm towel [ not a regular one of your favorites; this towel is reserved ONLY for this task] and pat - not wipe - your ass crack. Dab the area a few times, then use the dry end of the towel to dab it dry. Use Goldbond or some other medicated powder to keep it nice and clean, dry and, if you are lucky, rim-able.
3. after taking the dump the BEST way to clean up is to jump in the shower and take your morning shower. I'm on a regular enough morning schedule that I can usually do that; toilet/shower/wash it clean.

{learned most of this from listening to Howard Stern}
Exactly what I was going to suggest. :grinning-smiley-003
 

Meniscus

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I agree with Freeboy that you need to make sure that you are done. Also, try adding more fiber to your diet, either by taking a supplement or just eating more high-fiber foods. Drink lots of water, too.

Chad's routine stated above is probably the best, but should it not be at times of the day when you will shower, i would highly recommend that you begin using "Wet Ones" wipes...

Somewhat more convenient than Wet Ones are Cottonelle moist wipes, because they are flushable. They come in a plastic tub, refill packs, and portable packs (great for travel or you can take them to work). I think there are other brands (Charmin?) as well. Many grocery stores and drug stores carry a generic version, although the cloths tend to be thinner. I buy the name brand whenever they are on sale.
 

Deno

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Exactly what I was going to suggest. :grinning-smiley-003

don't shave, wax, the paid is oh so glorious. NOT!!! I'd say when you poop you are straining a bit and your bowels are not quite getting pulled back up far enough. After you wipe and stand try to tighten up down there to pull your colon back up into position. I actually had this condition and it created these tiny hemroids which would get rubbed open with the dry paper. After trying the excersise and using the medicated wipes the problem quickly went away.
 

nudeyorker

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Every time I have seen this thread I keep thinking is says Ass Whipping and I get excited.
Get some Charmin or Cotenelle wet wipes to really get in and get the job done!