At least one partner has an affair in 80% of marriages.

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by B_superlarge, Jan 31, 2008.

  1. B_superlarge

    B_superlarge New Member

    Joined:
    Jul 8, 2007
    Messages:
    977
    Likes Received:
    1
    Infidelity

    Menstuff® has compiled the following information on infidelity statistics.
    • 22 percent of married men have strayed at least once during their married lives.
    • 14 percent of married women have had affairs at least once during their married lives.
    • Younger people are more likely candidates; in fact, younger women are as likely as younger men to be unfaithful.
    • 70 percent of married women and 54 percent of married men did not know of their spouses' extramarital activity.
    • 5 percent of married men and 3 percent of married women reported having sex with someone other than their spouse in the year1997.
    • 22 percent of men and 14 percent of women admitted to having sexual relations outside their marriage sometime in their past.
    • 90 percent of Americans believe adultery is morally wrong.
    • 50 percent of Americans say President Clinton's adultery makes his moral standard "about the same as the average married man,'' according to a Time-CNN poll.
    • 61 percent of Americans thought adultery should not be a crime in the United states; 35 percent thought it should; 4 percent had no opinion.
    • 17 percent of divorces in the United States are caused by infidelity.
    • [SIZE=-1]Source: Associated Press[/SIZE]
    • Up to 37% of men and 22% of women admit to having affairs. Researchers think the vast majority of the millions of people who visit chat rooms, have multiple "special friends”. Dr. Bob Lanier, askbob.com [SIZE=-1]http://www.menstuff.org/books/coversmisc/arrow1.gif[/SIZE]
    • Recent studies reveal that 45-55% of married women and 50-60% of married men engage in extramarital sex at some time or another during their relationship (Atwood & Schwartz, 2002 - Journal of Couple & Relationship Therapy)
    • Only 46% of men believe that online affairs are adultery. DivorceMag
    • 80% think it's Ok to talk with a stranger identified as the opposite sex. 75% thinks it's ok to visit an adult site.
    • About 60 percent of men and 40 percent of women will have an affair at some point in some marriage "Monogamy Myth", Therapist Peggy Vaugn
    • About 24 percent of men and 14 percent of women have had sex outside their marriages, according to a Dec. 21, 1998 report in USA Today on a national study by the University of California, San Francisco.
    • Affairs affect one of every 2.7 couples, according to counselor Janis Abrahms Spring, author of After the Affair,as reported by the Washington Post on March 30, 1999. Ten percent of extramarital affairs last one day, 10 percent last more than one day but less than a month, 50 percent last more than a month but less than a year, but 40 percent last two or more years. Few extramarital affairs last more than four years.
    • A lesser known fact is that those who divorce rarely marry the person with whom they are having the affair. For example, Dr. Jan Halper’s study of successful men (executives, entrepreneurs, professionals) found that very few men who have affairs divorce their wife and marry their lovers. Only 3 percent of the 4,100 successful men surveyed eventually married their lovers.
    • Frank Pittman has found that the divorce rate among those who married their lovers was 75 percent. The reasons for the high divorce rate include: intervention of reality, guilt, expectations, a general distrust of marriage, and a distrust of the affairee.
    • One-third of divorce litigation is caused by online affairs. This Is An Internet E-Mergency, The Fortino Group
    • Approximately 70% of time on-line is spent in chat rooms or sending e-mail; of these interactions, the vast majority are romantic in nature. Dr. Michael Adamse, PhD., co-author of Affairs of the Net: The Cybershrinks' Guide to Online Relationships
    • Because of the anonymity, affordability, and accessibility of Internet sexual resources, the computer can accelerate the transition from "at risk" to "addicted," as well as the progression of sex addiction in those with a history of prior sexual compulsivity. Cooper et al Survey
    • 8-10 percent of Internet users become hooked on cybersex. Dr. Bob Lanier, askbob.com [SIZE=-1]http://www.menstuff.org/books/coversmisc/arrow1.gif[/SIZE]
    • Spouses who get hooked on Internet porn are a growing complaint among spouses filing for divorce, according to a survey of 350 divorce attorneys. "If there's dissatisfaction in the existing relationship, the Internet is an easy way for people to scratch the itch," said lawyer J. Lindsey Short, Jr., president of the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers, which conducted the study.
    • 57% of people have used the Internet to flirt.
    • 38% of people have engaged in explicit online sexual conversation and 50% of people have made phone contact with someone they chatted with online.
    • Evidence proves there is a high correlation between on-line infidelity and subsequent real-time sexual affairs.
    • Evidence supports the existence of disinhibition, accelerated intimacy, and hyper-sexual online behavior that can easily lead to real-time infidelity
    • 31% of people have had an online conversation that has led to real-time sex.
    • It is estimated that 53% of all people will have one or more affairs during their lifetime.
    • Look at the numbers from Playboy Magazine:
    • -2 out of 3 women and 3 out of 4 men admit they have sexual thoughts about co-workers.
    • -86% of men and 81% of women admit they routinely flirt with the opposite sex.
    • -75% of men and 65% of women admit to having sex with people they work with.
    • The fact is that human beings are NOT monogamous by nature. That means they cheat.
    • Experts say that a gut instinct is the most powerful indicator of a cheating lover. Adultery statistics state that 85% of woman who feel their lover is cheating are correct. 50% of men who feel their lover is cheating are right. The first clue is seldom obvious. Typically, it's a "feeling" that something is different.
    • Cheating spouse statistics confirm that 50 and 70 percent of married men (between 38 and 53 million men) have cheated or will cheat on their wives. One study found that 2/3 of the wives (26 to 36 million women) whose husbands were cheating had no idea their husbands were having an affair - largely because they failed to recognize the telltale signs.
    • According to Annette Lawson, author of Adultery, published in 1989 by Basic Books. "The various researchers arrive at a general consensus…suggesting that above one-quarter to about one-half of married women have at least one lover after they are married in any given marriage. Married men probably still stray more often than married women—perhaps from 50 percent to 65 percent by the age of forty." According to Maggie Scarf, author of Intimate Partners, first published in 1987 by Random House, re-issued in 1996 by Ballentine.
    • "Most experts do consider the 'educated guess' that at the present time some 50 to 65 percent of husbands and 45 to 55 percent of wives become extramaritally involved by the age of 40 to be a relatively sound and reasonable one." According to Peggy Vaughan, author of The Monogamy Myth, first published in 1989 by Newmarket Press (third edition published 2003).
    • Conservative infidelity statistics estimate that “60 percent of men and 40 percent of women will have an extramarital affair. These figures are even more significant when we consider the total number of marriages involved, since it's unlikely that all the men and women having affairs happen to be married to each other. If even half of the women having affairs (or 20 percent) are married to men not included in the 60 percent having affairs, then at least one partner will have an affair in approximately 80 percent of all marriages. With this many marriages affected, it's unreasonable to think affairs are due only to the failures and shortcomings of individual husbands or wives."
    Note that the above adultry statistics of the prevalence of affairs were made more than a decade ago; so based on changes in society during the intervening years, the current percentage of the population who have had affairs is probably somewhat HIGHER. For instance, the continuing increase of women in the workplace and the increase of women having affairs on the Internet means that the numbers for women having affairs is probably similar to those for men—about 60%.
    Infidelity Statistics
     
  2. D_Kay_Sarah_Sarah

    D_Kay_Sarah_Sarah Account Disabled

    Joined:
    Apr 5, 2006
    Messages:
    5,455
    Likes Received:
    14
    4 women i know are currently cheating on their partners. I really don't agree with it, i do believe in being faithful but i have had to learn to let my prejudices go and not judge these women, my friends. And to be honest it isn't that easy as every time they tell me how great their boyfriends are i see flashes of their children's faces
     
  3. enormouslyaverage

    Joined:
    Nov 16, 2006
    Messages:
    251
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    1
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Ontario, Canada
    Personally, I just don't get it. I mean, I have an amazing girlfriend and there are multiple girls that I could "have" in a heartbeat right now. Just because I can doesn't mean I do. I don't know what's so hard about not cheating on the person you supposedly love.
     
  4. e_a_s_t

    e_a_s_t New Member

    Joined:
    May 20, 2007
    Messages:
    44
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Please Delete This Account
    Just one of many reasons why I don't plan on ever getting married.
     
  5. DC_DEEP

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Apr 13, 2005
    Messages:
    9,029
    Likes Received:
    12
    Cool! That really sounds like something that we MUST protect by constitutional amendment! How dare any queers want to get married and destroy that sacred institution!
     
  6. jeff black

    jeff black <img border="0" src="/images/badges/gold_member.gi

    Joined:
    Mar 2, 2006
    Messages:
    11,866
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    14
    Location:
    CANADA
    Oh FUCK! I've clearly seen the error of my ways.

    Why bother to get married, or have a relationship with anyone? CLEARLY we, as humans, are too concerned about sexy time to maintain a decent relationship. We may as well just forget all about sex and FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK.:rolleyes:

    No, you know what, Fuck stats. That's bullshit. I have grown up knowing many families. 80&#37; of them have not had affairs. IN fact, I know about 3 couples TOTAL who have had affairs and they ended in divorce. So before these people attempt to wreck relationships, tell them to get better sources than Playboy.

    Btw:

    -75% of men and 65% of women admit to having sex with people they work with. (Probably single people or fantasists.)
    57% of people have used the Internet to flirt.
    38% of people have engaged in explicit online sexual conversation and 50% of people have made phone contact with someone they chatted with online. (So? Is that a crime to flirt? We are on a big dick site. The trick is, flirt but don't act on it.)
    80% think it's Ok to talk with a stranger identified as the opposite sex. 75% thinks it's ok to visit an adult site. (S0?)

    Sorry Folks, I'm a strict romantic. Stats like this are bound to upset especially when it's making it sound like certain things are cheating.
     
  7. B_superlarge

    B_superlarge New Member

    Joined:
    Jul 8, 2007
    Messages:
    977
    Likes Received:
    1
    80&#37; does sound too high. They are trying to base that on 40% of women cheat and 60% of men, and that the 40% and 60% interact with singles and married. The 80% is an estimate and seems flawed. However, keep in mind though that they are counting one time flings that can occur during the low point in some marriages, in which some rebound and some don't. It's well known that 50% of first time marriages end in divorce and 70% of remarriages end in divorce. How many more than those 50% should have ended in divorce but the couples stayed together anyway for various reasons. Very many people are not in happy marriages but stay together. So while I think the 80% is probably too high, I don't really doubt a higher percentage than one might initally think happens. I've witnessed married women caving in to players that show them attention time and time again. Players aren't always obviously players. I don't doubt that many women who cheat do so out of need for attention. However, I also think that women cheating solely for the purpose of hoping he will fuck the snot out them is downplayed and frequently occurs.
     
  8. B_andyo

    B_andyo New Member

    Joined:
    Apr 18, 2007
    Messages:
    2,009
    Likes Received:
    4
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Miami
    I believe 150&#37; that we shall visit porn sites...
     
  9. Principessa

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Nov 22, 2006
    Messages:
    19,494
    Likes Received:
    28
    Gender:
    Female
    I agree with you 110%! It's a shame more people don't think and behave as we do. :cool::rolleyes:
     
  10. Hippie Hollow Girl

    Verified Gold Member

    Joined:
    Apr 23, 2006
    Messages:
    613
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    21
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    Austin Texas
    Verified:
    Photo
    This is depressing.

    Why worry about things that could happen in the future. Take life day by day and deal with whatever comes along.

    There are probably many reasons why infidelity happens to some people. I am not a professional or anything..... But I don't know if I believe that all people are meant to be monogomous. I think there are some people that struggle with it. No matter what their best intentions are. Or how much they love one particular person.

    There are people that are sex addicts.....and people who get an adrenolyn rush out of doing sneaky things behind people's backs. And there are people who as they get to a certain age......they start seeing their youth slip behind them......and their spouse doesn't give them the attention or sex that they think they need......and they start getting attention from coworkers and they develop crushes and then it snowballs into an affair.

    But hopefully if people are in a committed relationship......they can keep the lines of communication open......and try to make sure both partners are happy.....try new things to keep the spark going......hopefully things won't snowball into extra marital affairs or worse broken homes, hearts and divorce.

    What is amazing to me is for me to talk to people (on the Internet....so who knows if it is true or not )and they tell me they have been having long term multiple affairs for like 20 years. I just don't see how they are able to do it and get away with it. Can they sleep at night? Do they worry that they will call out the wrong person's name in the middle of the night?

    I am just too honest. I have never been able to lie. When I was a kid I never got away with anything.......and I just found that honesty is the most stress free avenue for me. I don't have to worry who I told what story too.
     
  11. earllogjam

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Aug 15, 2006
    Messages:
    5,027
    Likes Received:
    21
    See...monogamy is overrated.
     
  12. bigmix

    bigmix New Member

    Joined:
    Dec 30, 2007
    Messages:
    166
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    anywhere that I can smell women
    no any faith in love anymore .. if you were me, you know what I mean.

    congrats to those still be in love, wish your love lasts forever.

    cheers...
     
  13. B_Hung Jon

    B_Hung Jon New Member

    Joined:
    Jul 4, 2007
    Messages:
    5,008
    Likes Received:
    16
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Los Angeles, California
    It's weird to me that with this information that people still have this idea that monogamy is of superior value. I mean, it may be that way for the sake of creating a stable place to raise kids but i don't think it makes much sense from an emotional point of view. Unless a person really desires monogamy deep down, why should they get married? I think you can have undying love for a person without getting married. How about having undying love for a few peeps?
     
  14. B_Italian1

    B_Italian1 New Member

    Joined:
    Jul 24, 2007
    Messages:
    1,784
    Likes Received:
    1
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    United Steaks
    If queers get the right then they'll have to set a better example.

    It's ridiculous. 80%?:confused: Consider the source. If you polled people in steak houses, I'll bet most of them would say they aren't vegetarians.:rolleyes:

    If you believe that information, you wouldn't believe that monogamy is superior, but it is in many ways.

    Who said anything about kids? Monogamy is emotionally stable with or without kids.

    You can be monogamous and not married.

    And that's why this is STD nation.
     
  15. DC_DEEP

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Apr 13, 2005
    Messages:
    9,029
    Likes Received:
    12
    or at least an equal example? Just a silly thought, you know, with the 14th amendment and all...
     
Draft saved Draft deleted