at LPSG do "manners" count?

B_Stronzo

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emu said:
i'm in agreement with rawbone and bronxy
stronzo does have a bit of a jekyl\hyde quality to his postings, but that can be attributed to his passion and sincerity which i would agree with bronx, i prefer honesty and sincerity, no matter how brutal.



Then in light of your critique of my modus (which some might call personality:rolleyes:) do you suggest the latter-mentioned poster is pure "Mr. Hyde"?

Chirst emu. I asked that you not make this personal. I'm beginning to run out of Bacitracin and antibiotics.

** thanks rawbone for hijacking thread...........:rolleyes:
 
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jeff black said:
I am gonna chip in here.

I think manners are INCREDIBLY important, both in real life and on the internet. I try to be as polite and non-petty as I can on LPSG, and most of my posts are free of slanderous, or rude comments.

Being polite is Very important. One can get a point across without tossing names, or making comments that are unrequired.
In keeping with Jeff's thoughts, I always keep in mind: Would I want to receive what I have written? I don't spend enough time here anymore to want to offend anyone. The old policy: "If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say it" is a good policy to go by. If I feel the urge to burn someone, I will write it, get it out of my system, and then not post it. The one time I was tempted to be somewhat rude in a post, I sent it to a Moderator first. Just the act of doing that made me choose not to send it. And I will say that it was extremely tame compared to some of the posts I have seen here. Apologies can go a long way to improve the situation if you go to far. I have sent a few out for some less than intelligent choices I have made. The worst part about being rude or unkind on the Internet is that the whole world can see what a fool you have made of yourself, and it can be there for a long time.

On the flip side, I will also say, in today's society, that to be polite and well-mannered is often seen as a sign of weakness. Choose your battles wisely.
 

Shelby

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chicagosam said:
In keeping with Jeff's thoughts, I always keep in mind: Would I want to receive what I have written? I don't spend enough time here anymore to want to offend anyone. The old policy: "If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say it" is a good policy to go by. If I feel the urge to burn someone, I will write it, get it out of my system, and then not post it. The one time I was tempted to be somewhat rude in a post, I sent it to a Moderator first. Just the act of doing that made me choose not to send it. And I will say that it was extremely tame compared to some of the posts I have seen here. Apologies can go a long way to improve the situation if you go to far. I have sent a few out for some less than intelligent choices I have made. The worst part about being rude or unkind on the Internet is that the whole world can see what a fool you have made of yourself, and it can be there for a long time.

On the flip side, I will also say, in today's society, that to be polite and well-mannered is often seen as a sign of weakness. Choose your battles wisely.

bend over
 

dug322

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Great Thread! such an interesting take on manners in this thread!

I try to follow the golden rule. I treat others as I would like to be treated unless they piss me off. A former manager who moved on gave me one of the button, "Piss me off - pay the price."

I try to observe good manners in what I do and I also try not to place my expectations on others. If they are interested in being a firend or getting my help then Good Manners goes a long way in getting them there.
 

jeff black

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Shelby said:
Haha.

makes me wonder...

closeted gays sometimes get 'outed'. What if the reverse occurred? Would you get 'inned'?

So, that would be "Closeted straights getting back in the closet...." a whole conversion to StraightLAND??

My word... is that a ripple in the space/time Continum? It is too complex.. this world is sucking itself.!!!!!:tongue:
 

madame_zora

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Stronzo, you sure start some thought-provoking topics, and this one is no exception. I'm glad a few people made mention of me, because your threads get read, and I have an opportunity to explain my viewpoint here.

Manners are great. They got me far in the corporate world, and they help me to reach people in real life that wouldn't give me the time of day otherwise. When used properly, they can open doors and say nice things about you to the people you meet, all good things.

But this is the internet, and this is our playground, for lack of a better paradigm. We come here for a variety of different reasons, but mine is to learn. I am absolutely fascinated by human behavior and spend absurd amounts of time constructing personality profiles of people based on the words they type, so this is all very interesting to me. I have learned tremendous amouts of things here from people very different from myself, and that experience has been invaluable. I find myself very short tempered with those unwilling or unable to learn, or who have come here for ego-gratification.

Dong20 said that manners are not always veiled hatred, and to that I wholeheartedly agree. Anytime we use words like "Always", we can pretty well expect to be wrong. I'd say manners are usually sincere, and an expression of the speaker's sense of personal dignity. This is something I respect and hold in high regard. Actually, any time a person is upholding their own morality, I am impressed.

The problem is the few who use it otherwise. These people are rarely aware of the limits of their own behavior, and are not "scheming"- they're just not able to see beyond the scope of what they hold to be true, to consider another way. "Veiled racists"? Oh hell yeah, and misgoynists, and xenophobes of all kinds. You're not going to make any real progress with someone like that, because they have not come here to learn, they have come to instruct.

Someone mentioned ChimeraTX, the racist kid from Texas. He annoyed the shit out of me with his "I don't curse so therefore I'm polite" bullshit, but we were able to make friends and had a mutual respect of sorts, even though we had each other on ignore half the time, haha. I miss him and I wonder often how he's doing. He was brilliant, and I'd always hoped that exposure to such a wide range of people here would be good for him. Truly, I think it was and I miss our teens here sorely.

I am direct, and I appreciate directness. I also follow the golden rule, although very few people understand that. They think the golden rule means to "be nice like me", but it does not. It means to treat others the way you'd want to be treated, and that I do.
 

dcwrestlefan

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Shelby said:
Haha.

makes me wonder...

closeted gays sometimes get 'outed'. What if the reverse occurred? Would you get 'inned'?

to really go back in the closet, you have to do it yourself. hmmmm. but i suppose if a group of gays started rumors about person X that he/she was straight, and he/she did not protest, that could be a form of "inning".

also, it is uncommon, but not unknown, for straight men to go to popular gay clubs trying to pick up women. (less competition?) witnessed this first hand a few years ago. a sharp looking, somewhat bitchy, slightly effeminate guy joined a group of us and started talking. yeh, its a bit of a stereotype, but i'd have bet the farm he was family. he was hit on by several guys and turned them down. as the lights went up however, he had become very chummy and affectionate with a cute and frisky woman, and they left the place together. i don't think they were heading out for coffee talk given their behavior toward one another. we "inned" him based on that evening. haha.

mz, i totally agree with your post concerning chimeratx. i thought he might be rescueable, and not being around anymore makes it less likely he'll rethink some of his racist tendencies. he needed to hear alternative points of view. hopefully, he is still getting that somewhere.

sorry to take the thread off topic again. carry on. :smile:
 

madame_zora

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Haha, that's hilarious! With all the fag-hags at gay bars who are NOT getting laid by their friends, it would be easy pickins for a straight guy.
 

dolf250

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I find peoples thoughts on the subject to be enlightening. For myself I make every attempt to be pretty much the same here as I am in person. I try to respect others and show some manners, but if you really piss me off you will know it.