At Sunday church

Discussion in 'Funny Stuff: Jokes, Quizzes, Games & Pics' started by Principessa, Aug 2, 2009.

  1. Principessa

    Gold Member

    Nov 22, 2006
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    At Sunday church, the local Vicar explains that he must move on to a larger congregation that will pay him more. There is a hush within the congregation. No one wants him to leave because he is so popular.

    Fred Smith, who owns several car dealerships in Southland and Otago, stands up and proclaims: 'If the Vicar stays, I will provide him with a new Holden every year and his wife with a Honda mini-van to transport their children!'
    The congregation sighs in appreciation and applauds.
    Sam Brown, a successful entrepreneur and publican, stands and says,‘If the Vicar will stay on here, I'll personally double his salary and establish a foundation to guarantee private secondary school education of his children!'
    More sighs and loud applause.
    Agnes Jones, age 88, stands and announces with a smile, 'If the Vicar stays, I will give him sex.'
    There is total silence.
    The Preacher, blushing, asks her: Mrs. Jones, you're a wonderful and holy lady, whatever possessed you to say that?'
    Agnes's 90-year old husband, Joe, is now trying to hide, holding his forehead with the palm of his hand and shaking his head from side to side, while his wife replies:
    'Well, I just asked my husband how we could help, and he said,
    'Fuck him'.
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