At The End!

Tight_N_Juicy

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It's hard to do, but that's when you have to really try to figure out what you love about yourself.

Life is a bitch. But somehow we can manage to find a way to love ourselves enough to wake up and share what we have to offer with the world in hopes someone will be drawn to our inner light.

I've been lonely. I've hated me. I managed to find a way out. Don't assume you can't do the same. If I can be damned if anyone else can't.
 

thickbit

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YOu know what? Being in a relationship and feeling lonely is sucks. Im always trying to look inside of me what am I doing wrong. Constantly get the answer: I am too good, indulgent, conflict avoider. I wanna make someone happy - but seems Im not the one who could be happy. Im always making compromise.
The word Selfish was not the part of my dictionary at all. Maybe I was wrong? Maybe I need to be more egoistic? MAybe I need to focus on something else?

To tell you the truth - I figured out : The amount of love you receive depends on how much love you let in to your life. You need to open the window if you need fresh air...
 

LaFemme

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I’ve been where you are. Then I’ve been with someone and it’s been worse. They didn’t love me.

Don’t wait for a person to complete you. Be a complete person yourself. You really have to love yourself, be your own best friend, treat yourself well. Maybe you’ll find someone and maybe you won’t. If you do, you’ll be offering them the best version of you. If you don’t, you’re happy and complete anyway. Don’t be half a person, or even worse, one that doesn’t even feel they they exist without the validation of others.

I look at this site and I see people everywhere thirsty for attention. I’ve been here for 9 years and can count on one hand with fingers left over how many guys have really been attracted to me. Should that bother me? No. Because I know who I am. Know who you are. I am loved by the people who matter, and most of all by myself.
 

Phil Ayesho

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Who else has had enough of not being loved and can take much more?
there ain't no such animal.

You are loved.... by SOMEONE. Probably by quite a few people. Tho, not in the way you are craving.

What you are griping about is not getting something You Want. You Want someone sexually, romantically- someone to do things with, or do nothing with... and moreover- You want that person to want the same things from you.

That's understandable and fairly normal.

But that is a selfish motivation and the primary obstacle to finding that which you seek, because the love you are talking about is a Giving thing, not an asking thing.

Stop looking at potential mates from the point of view of whether they will give you what you want... and instead from the point of view of someone to whom You can give what They want.


Its a subtle distinction but its the key.

The reason INCELs can't get laid is because they see women as NOT giving them something - rather than as people they want to give to.

As others have already said- if you don't love yourself , first, you are gonna have a hard time truly loving someone else.

And there is no such thing as unconditional love.
If you want to be loved... you have to be lovable.

And one of the secrets to being lovable is to stop thinking about yourself so much.
Stop thinking about what you AREN'T getting- and start thinking about just enjoying what you are getting.
 
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palakaorion

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You don't mention whether you were in a relationship that ended, or never found love.

The advice from @LaFemme about being a complete person apart from someone else is spot on.

It was a painful lesson to learn after losing my wife of 32 years. We had grown together like two intertwined trees in a forest. Which sustained us through some pretty serious stuff.

She passed about 4 years ago and I'm only just now finally getting comfortable with being one independent person, instead of the surviving half of a broken couple.

If love finds me again, it will find a different person than who I was before.
 
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halcyondays

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Oz never did give nothing to the Tin Man that he didn't already have.

My advice is to sit and learn to meditate. If you don't know it already you may discover your heart is full all on its own.