At the morgue

Pitbull

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A mortician was working late one night. It was his job to examine
the dead bodies before they were sent off to be buried or cremated.
As he examined the body of Mr. Schwartz, who was about to be
cremated, he made an amazing discovery. Mr. Schwartz had the
longest private part he had ever seen!

"I'm sorry Mr. Schwartz" said the mortician, "but I can't send you
off to be cremated with a tremendously huge private part like this.
It has to be saved for posterity."

With that, the mortician used his tools to remove the dead man's
schlong. He stuffed his prize into a briefcase and took it home.

The first person he showed it to was his wife. "I have something to
show you that you won't believe," he said, and opened up his briefcase.

"Oh my God!" she screamed. "Schwatrz is dead!"
 

Principessa

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OMG! You just made me spew iced tea at my monitor. :tongue: That was one of my ex-boyfriends favorite jokes. Haven't heard it in eons. :biggrin:
 

JaimeB

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in Spain, the story is a little different.

Some boys went behind the bullring after the bullfight, and when the butchers were distracted cutting up the carcass, the boys stole the bull's pizzle.

They ran around the streets shocking older people by waving it around, but soon the prank lost its appeal, so they threw the bull's penis over a wall.

Behind the wall was a convent garden, and in the garden, one of the nuns sat reading. When the bull's pizzle landed in front of her, she saw it, let out a loud scream, and fainted.

Immediately the other nuns came out to see what was wrong. They called for smelling salts and revived their fainted sister.

When she came around, one of them asked her, "What happened? What's all the screaming about?"

Then the nun points to the bull's pizzle and tearfully exclaims, "They've killed Father Antonio!"