Attitudes about masturbation?

venicedude

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When I was growing up in the 80s in a small town, guys would never admit to masturbating. Admitting to jerking off (even solo) was considered "gay" and a reason for ridicule. When I went to college, I think a few people began to recognize that most guys did it, all the time, but few discussed it. In my twenties, now living in California, everyone knows guys masturbate, and I don't think anyone would be ashamed to admit it. A cultural tipping point was the Seinfeld episodes in the early 90s, "The Contest," where the characters had a competition to see who could go the longest without masturbating.

What was the attitude toward masturbation where and when you were growing up? Was my upbringing an outlier? Or have times changed?
 

paget54

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My parents never discussed it with me. I don't remember it being a topic of locker room conversation. A few close friends occasionally got together and jacked off together but it was never something that was openly discussed.

I think my wife was surprised to learn that I masturbated before we married. She gave me my first handjob by a woman and I supposed she thought that was the first time I climaxed. LOL.

Growing up, I hid my masturbation habit from my parents and friends. I continued to hid my masturbation practices from my wife for the first 20 or so years of our marriage. One day, I told her that I jack off. She was horrified! "That's awful", she said. "Well, when you're not in the mood, I have to take care of myself". She had no retort.

Today, I'll often lay in bed next to her and start to masturbate. She'll usually join in feeling as though "it is her job".
 

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The topic of masturbation has never been raised as a discussion by parents or friends. It's something I've been doing regularly since I was very young but I've never shared it with anyone.

I'm a little sorry for this "isolation" but I've adapted to it by now.
 

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My parents never discussed anything sexual nature with me or my sister. They never spoke about anything substantive with us anyway. They had this mentality that you were supposed to learn everything on your own. No wonder why they were such ignoramuses and we always wondered if they were our parents.

So we learned about things pretty much on our own. It's really sad when you think about it.
 

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I'm in my late 60s and quite honestly can't remember how I discovered self-pleasure. I do remember that it began when I started rubbing myself while wearing tighty whitey underwear. That of course progressed to my handling my penis and then to stroking. The first time I reached the PONR, I was both delighted and scared. Wasn't prepared for the mess as masturbation was never a point of discussion with friends. But, wow, the feeling! I felt guilty and that feeling continued well into my 30s even after I got married and continued to masturbate regularly. My wife was horrified to learn that I masturbated after we got married. She eventually got over it and now just accepts it as part of what I do to satisfy my sexual appetite when she's not available/ready.

I wish my dad would have talked to me about masturbation. There was really no need for me to feel guilty about it and while it was fun and exciting to explore and learn on my own, a little guidance would have been appreciated.
 

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I found masturbation the same way many of us did: from the encyclopedia definition of reproduction:joy: but also from sex ed books. I remember being at a party around 2000 and a guy decided to make me feel awkward by asking me in front of a couple of attractive girls if I masturbate. In my mind then: "If I say no, then I'm lying. If I say yes, then I'm a sex obsessed weirdo." I didn't have the wherewithal then to call him out and admit that we both know that everyone does, and that he does too. The shame around it was so stupid.

Now, my long term partner and I admit that occasionally we masturbate without the other, no big deal. She'll even tell me to "go to the gym, I need to get off", and I've been buying her a succession of vibrators for years to satisfy herself when I can't. Much happier situation.
 

allin4cum

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well, I grew up in the 50's - 60's time frame and masturbation was never talked about anywhere...except between small groups of friends that rusted each other. For me and my friends (3 of us) that meant that we would regularly masturbate when ever one of us was horny. We had no porn or internet to see anything but we had our imaginations and we would talk each other into orgasms.
YES, things have changed = dramatically.
 

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I grew up on the mid 80s and into the 90s. There was no talk of masturbation at home nor among my friends. I discovered it on my own and at the time had never heard the word masturbate. Once I learned what it was I was more careful about when I did it. I always felt like other guys did it too but it was just never talked about.

But with the internet, smartphones, and apps to connect people anonymously and provide forums for open anonymous discussion, it's definitely opened doors that we didn't have before the internet.
 
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I first discovered masturbating,I had this one horny freind who was always showing his dick, this one time I wasn't around ,my freind I will call him pj and to other guys where playing ball pj as always pulled his dick out and busted a nut the two other guys came to my house and said "pj got vd white stuff came out his dick " that night I started rubbing my dick I busted the biggest load, it felt so Good I thought I was going crazy I still do it today I still fuck with no problem I just like jacking off no psychological issue just like feeling good.
 

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I found masturbation the same way many of us did: from the encyclopedia definition of reproduction:joy: but also from sex ed books. I remember being at a party around 2000 and a guy decided to make me feel awkward by asking me in front of a couple of attractive girls if I masturbate. In my mind then: "If I say no, then I'm lying. If I say yes, then I'm a sex obsessed weirdo." I didn't have the wherewithal then to call him out and admit that we both know that everyone does, and that he does too. The shame around it was so stupid.

Now, my long term partner and I admit that occasionally we masturbate without the other, no big deal. She'll even tell me to "go to the gym, I need to get off", and I've been buying her a succession of vibrators for years to satisfy herself when I can't. Much happier situation.
Wow man. I think it's very confident of you to make your wife happy no matter what. Definitely helps on the long run.
 
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belamifan1

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When I was growing up in the 80s in a small town, guys would never admit to masturbating. Admitting to jerking off (even solo) was considered "gay" and a reason for ridicule. When I went to college, I think a few people began to recognize that most guys did it, all the time, but few discussed it. In my twenties, now living in California, everyone knows guys masturbate, and I don't think anyone would be ashamed to admit it. A cultural tipping point was the Seinfeld episodes in the early 90s, "The Contest," where the characters had a competition to see who could go the longest without masturbating.

What was the attitude toward masturbation where and when you were growing up? Was my upbringing an outlier? Or have times changed
I was quite young when my friend talked to me about it and that it made you feel good so I've tried it. Craziest sensation ever. So I made sure to spread to knowledge to another friend LOL. Although, I used soap and it got into my urethra. So when I peed it hurt and I freaked out so much.
 

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Wow man. I think it's very confident of you to make your wife happy no matter what. Definitely helps on the long run.
She probably would have left me years ago if I hadn't gotten her these other ways to cum with or without me. There have been some very limp times in the bedroom for me during our years together!
 

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When I was growing up in the 80s in a small town, guys would never admit to masturbating. Admitting to jerking off (even solo) was considered "gay" and a reason for ridicule. When I went to college, I think a few people began to recognize that most guys did it, all the time, but few discussed it. In my twenties, now living in California, everyone knows guys masturbate, and I don't think anyone would be ashamed to admit it. A cultural tipping point was the Seinfeld episodes in the early 90s, "The Contest," where the characters had a competition to see who could go the longest without masturbating.

What was the attitude toward masturbation where and when you were growing up? Was my upbringing an outlier? Or have times changed?
Grew up in the midwest. No one condemned it, everyone knew it was a part of life and nobody felt compelled to discuss it because it was a private matter. I think it is a healthy perspective on the matter and we didn't need a show about nothing to teach us anything.
 
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deleted8621751

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I am from midwest usa. I grew up in 80s too. i think masturbation was talked about back then. it was before internet porn so if u had real porn magazines or vhs tapes you had to share it with friends but everyone has different experience with how widely talked about based on friends and family.
 
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FrankieGuile

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I am from midwest usa. I grew up in 80s too. i think masturbation was talked about back then. it was before internet porn so if u had real porn magazines or vhs tapes you had to share it with friends but everyone has different experience with how widely talked about based on friends and family.
Yes, nothing salacious, nothing taboo...just reasonable people reasonably respecting private matters.
 

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Grew up in 50s & 60s .......... found out about j.o. on my own. Wow, my first orgasim was soooooo intense and I still remember it. After that, I just continued to j.o. more and more often.

Talked about it with a good buddy and we would nut each other on a regular basis. We both went onto to hetero marriages.

My wife of 43 years passed away 2+ years ago. We had a healthy sex life. In the later years of our marriage, I actually masturbated her often with an Aneros, which she loved. I would then finish myself off while she felt her after glow.

Now I masturbate on a very regular basis. I do miss masturbating her.

I have no plans to re-partner. Sexually, I am very satisfied with masturbating, in combination with all of the great naked guys I see on LPSG. I can do it whenever, where ever.
 
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I too am from the Midwest, a millennial that came of age in the early 2000s. I've seen the shift in attitude towards masturbation, having shifted from a overall deviant, perverted activity, to a benign act of self care. I think a lot if it has to do with the normalization(and glorification)of female masturbation, to which men's masturbation was somewhat lifted by proxy. I honestly think it's still demonized by gender, both socially by the disdain for what men will masturbate to or with, and individually within relationships wherein more than a few women seem to treat masturbation as form of cheating, or sadly as a threat to their monopoly of sexual access.
In general I think if an average man accidentally walked in upon a woman masturbating, his 1st urge(even if not acted upon) is some form of interest, to either watch or participate... I think even today if your average woman walks in on a man masturbating, the default reaction(even if not acted upon) will be one of ridicule or disgust.
 

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I grew up in the south in the 80s, so it was rarely talked about unless you were joking around. I got busted by a friend jerking in college, and it led to us jerking together a few times, but that was about it. Now it does not seem to have the stigma it did when I was growing up.
 
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