Attitudes toward gays

[dolfette]

That's a large part of the problem. I myself am a masculine "bear" and a factory mechanic. I've come out to several people over the years and they were like "Oh my god! It never even occurred to me that you might be gay!" It just irks me to think I might be lumped into categories with the stereo-typical fem, helpless gay male. I am anything but helpless.

I've always thought that ONE person in any social grouping acting in a negative (in this case, the swishy, limp wristed, fem, girly man) light could totally negate 50 positive impressions.

In a more positive light, I think those negative stereotypes are becoming fewer and fewer over the years. I've always thought that some of those fem guys were intentionally contrived and way over the top so they could fit into their peer groups. In this day and age, people are becoming more free to be themselves - their ACTUAL selves.

and i'd never thought that being feminine, whether you're male or female, made you pathetic and weak.

i don't see why femgay guys should be seen as pathetic.
'manly'...it's just another shitty stereotype of what men are supposed to be like. yes, it sucks that so many straight people only feel comfortable with seeing gay men as girly. yes, it sucks just as much that you look down on the guys who fit that stereotype.

 

[MH07]

You can only comment based on your knowledge and experience. I have to tell you that in the south and the midwest there are a lot of vocal conservative christians.

I was on a bus one time and there were two guys behind me and american and an indian, the american proceeds to tell the indian how much better christianity is compared to other religions.

I went to a wedding where the minister said it is the wife's duty to serve her husband.

BTW those loonies were in power here for a long time and you know US policies affect more than just the US, so unfortunately they are part of today's blueprint.

This is correct, dolfette, about Christians in the South, Southwest, and Midwest here in the US. Completely different than in Europe, including the UK. These people are ubiquitous, overbearing, and intent on crushing any opposition to their ideas. Trust me, I've grown up with them (Southern Baptist the first 22 years of my life). It is onerous to live here and be gay and have to put up with the Christians, most of whom are like our friend here on this thread---no idea what their religion actually preaches, mainly listen to their minister every Sunday and spout whatever he (note use of the word, "he"--women not allowed, thanks--) says. I'm still a Christian (mostly) and protestant, but the BS factor is MUCH higher here in the American South.

 

[Fredro]

Well, I was mainly speaking of those men who purposely went over-the-top with the false and contrived femininity. Not those who fall into the genuinely fem category. Sorry if I gave that impression.

You know, on the other hand, I guess I do need to back track a bit here. A person acts how he/she feels most comfortable. If they are secure enough with the personalities they reflect, who am I to knock them for it. Perhaps my only bitch about this, is when I see those "absolutely fabulous" queen types, I just automatically think - This is what makes the heteros so uncomfortable.

 

[dolfette]

Well, I was mainly speaking of those men who purposely went over-the-top with the false and contrived femininity. Not those who fall into the genuinely fem category. Sorry if I gave that impression.

You know, on the other hand, I guess I do need to back track a bit here. A person acts how he/she feels most comfortable. If they are secure enough with the personalities they reflect, who am I to knock them for it. Perhaps my only bitch about this, is when I see those "absolutely fabulous" queen types, I just automatically think - This is what makes the heteros so uncomfortable.

na, i think those people prefer it when gay guys can be seen as obvious and comical to when they could be anyone.
famous openly gay men? almost all are camp and fab.

thanks for that response.

 

[voyeurgirl69]

Don't care what you are religously, sexualy what ever. Beauty is skin deep ugly goes right to the bone. People are people. I was raised that way and keep true to that. in other words look into the heart and see if they are nice or evil and most people are nice.

I just don't like being called a breeder as I do not have kids and most likely never will.

 

[Amigo]

Exactly what we're talking about here has been bouncing around in my head for the last several days. 'Cause I imagined pushing my gay tolerance to the brink... and realized that if I had a son or daughter that was irrevocably gay, I'd feel this terrible letdown. It's the Darwinist in me. For the cash, time, and effort it takes to make 'em, I want kids who will go off, find mates, and reproduce.

I was raised by a hippie single mom in San Fran. I really try to understand gay-age. I've worked fine with people who came out to me, in fact I'm usually one of the first people at the workplace that gets told. Same goes with a few of my friends. I don't want my offspring doing it, though. I don't think it's a shame thing. I'd help him/her to come out comfortably. I'd feel tremendous blame for somehow reversing a tradition that had been passed down from my freakin' ancestors... that is, being attracted to the opposite sex.

So I ask you, my gay compadres, I don't mean to open up a debate, but am I gonna take some serious hate if I think this way?

 

[overninept5]

Older guys are definitely my thing, but I've never had a couple or a group...

James


Not from us, but perhaps from your children if they happen to be gay. Perhaps.
Bryan-

 

[MH07]

Don't care what you are religously, sexualy what ever. Beauty is skin deep ugly goes right to the bone. People are people. I was raised that way and keep true to that. in other words look into the heart and see if they are nice or evil and most people are nice.

I just don't like being called a breeder as I do not have kids and most likely never will.

No kids = not a "breeder", by definition.

 

[dolfette]

No kids = not a "breeder", by definition.

i have kids.
but i like to think there's a little more to me than that.

*preparing my mucho offended pouty face*

 

[voyeurgirl69]

I have been called a breeder by gay friends just because I am hetero

 

[Fredro]

"I'd feel tremendous blame for somehow reversing a tradition that had been passed down from my freakin' ancestors... that is, being attracted to the opposite sex."

I don't see how that should be any reflection on your masculinity. Being gay is a total genetic flip of the coin. If it's beyond your control, how can you feel blame for it? Seems like I am getting a vibe from you that being gay is something that can be controlled or reversed.

 

[musclemonkey5]

This is correct, dolfette, about Christians in the South, Southwest, and Midwest here in the US. Completely different than in Europe, including the UK. These people are ubiquitous, overbearing, and intent on crushing any opposition to their ideas. Trust me, I've grown up with them (Southern Baptist the first 22 years of my life). It is onerous to live here and be gay and have to put up with the Christians, most of whom are like our friend here on this thread---no idea what their religion actually preaches, mainly listen to their minister every Sunday and spout whatever he (note use of the word, "he"--women not allowed, thanks--) says. I'm still a Christian (mostly) and protestant, but the BS factor is MUCH higher here in the American South.

Maybe you should read peoples posts before you categorically stereotypte them.
"I myself am a private Christian. I do not go to church, I simply read my Bible and pray whenever I get the chance. I was not raised in religious dogma by my parents or my pastor. To me Christianity is simply a term that means 'following Christ'. If you read the gospel I am sure you will agree that Christ was not a man who went around condemning people for their sins, but teaching a noble path of love."
I don't have a problem with gays. I do have a problem with people who try to make me out to be some kind of religious activist who was raised in fantasy beliefs. Inconsequentially, many of those people are gay who are retaliating against Southern Baptist and other denominational hypocrisy.
I have plenty idea of "what these denominations teach", that is one of the reasons I am not part of them.

 

[musclemonkey5]

It is precicely the type of 'Christians' you described "no idea what their religion actually preaches, mainly listen to their minister every Sunday and spout whatever he says" give actually Christ followers a bad name. Christianity is not a religion, Catholicism/Protestantism/Methodism are religions.
The Church is a place where people who have problems go. As such it is filled with a bunch of messed up people who have professed Christ but have absolutely no idea what that means. Judging all Christians based on these is ridiculousness. Yes, the Bible teaches that WE Christ followers should marry women, not men, (you may dissagree, but it doesn't matter, these are the teachings >I< must live by) but It doesn't say anything about non-Christ followers. Yes, I do think I have a healthier life than you, but don't we all? A true Christian is concerned with himself, not others. "Take the plank out of your own eye before you take the spec out of your brothers" is a teaching of the Bible.
Governemnt, religions, and all other branches of influence that deal with the mob are targets for those who seek power. This will never change wether you it Christianity or any other inluential group. Even agnostics have been used in movements to grap power and influence.
Everyone has the right to dissagree with the way another walks in life. But as soon as you profess yourself a Christian you are automatically viewed as doing more than disagreeing but trying to effect and convert.

 

[naughty]

It is precicely the type of 'Christians' you described "no idea what their religion actually preaches, mainly listen to their minister every Sunday and spout whatever he says" give actually Christ followers a bad name. Christianity is not a religion, Catholicism/Protestantism/Methodism are religions.
The Church is a place where people who have problems go. As such it is filled with a bunch of messed up people who have professed Christ but have absolutely no idea what that means. Judging all Christians based on these is ridiculousness. Yes, the Bible teaches that WE Christ followers should marry women, not men, (you may dissagree, but it doesn't matter, these are the teachings >I< must live by) but It doesn't say anything about non-Christ followers. Yes, I do think I have a healthier life than you, but don't we all? A true Christian is concerned with himself, not others. "Take the plank out of your own eye before you take the spec out of your brothers" is a teaching of the Bible.
Governemnt, religions, and all other branches of influence that deal with the mob are targets for those who seek power. This will never change wether you it Christianity or any other inluential group. Even agnostics have been used in movements to grap power and influence.
Everyone has the right to dissagree with the way another walks in life. But as soon as you profess yourself a Christian you are automatically viewed as doing more than disagreeing but trying to effect and convert.

THe term for that type of Christian is a Carnal Christian. They have a little bit too much of their own personal nature and not enough emulation of the ways of Christ.

 

[CALAMBO]

TO the OP...thanks for a great question...and as always we seem to drift far from the original question....MY answer/comment...i have been active member here for 1 year...i can testify that i have become much more accepting to the GAY community...i have met and become maybe a best friend to a fella here who is gay..We are all the same when you get down to the nuts and bolts of people...we eat/sleep/laugh/cry/and then we die...i truely hope i have made maybe a bit of difference to some here who have taken the time to know me...and more so wish to thank them for teaching me this life lesson....be considerate of others, generally speaking we all need acceptance gay/straight/bi...may GOD bless us all.

 

[MarkLondon]

<snip> I'd feel tremendous blame for somehow reversing a tradition that had been passed down from my freakin' ancestors... that is, being attracted to the opposite sex.

So I ask you, my gay compadres, I don't mean to open up a debate, but am I gonna take some serious hate if I think this way?

But your anscestors probably had plenty of gay siblings and cousins along the way. And until recently a lot of gay people got married and had kids anyway, in spite of their true inclination. Probably still do in most parts of the world.

 

[hoggindaz]

lol, i find it funny the anti gay marriage "straight" christian has a self admitted sexual desire for men.

 

[B_Hung Jon]

Exactly what we're talking about here has been bouncing around in my head for the last several days. 'Cause I imagined pushing my gay tolerance to the brink... and realized that if I had a son or daughter that was irrevocably gay, I'd feel this terrible letdown. It's the Darwinist in me. For the cash, time, and effort it takes to make 'em, I want kids who will go off, find mates, and reproduce.

I was raised by a hippie single mom in San Fran. I really try to understand gay-age. I've worked fine with people who came out to me, in fact I'm usually one of the first people at the workplace that gets told. Same goes with a few of my friends. I don't want my offspring doing it, though. I don't think it's a shame thing. I'd help him/her to come out comfortably. I'd feel tremendous blame for somehow reversing a tradition that had been passed down from my freakin' ancestors... that is, being attracted to the opposite sex.

So I ask you, my gay compadres, I don't mean to open up a debate, but am I gonna take some serious hate if I think this way?

I don't know if you realize it or not but gay people have been having kids like crazy in most larger cities. Would you be freaked if you had a gay or lesbian kid who also had their own children? Or does it have to be two opposite genders having your grandkids? I guess I don't see the difference.

 

[Robert53]

bearded woof and musclemonkey5 have received my admiration after reading their posts here. Both have a brain and speak from the heart and intelligently. Thank you both for sharing views from the hetero and bisexual aspects on this subject.

Robert53

 

[B_theOtherJJ]

Attitudes towards gays? When you talk about gays, keep in mind that not all gay guys are girly men or sluts.

Sorry Avg joe, but I am not sure that was an issue that was even raised by the original poster. ... Why would you even bring that up ????