Attracted sexually to men, emotionally to women

Sami1988

Cherished Member
Verified
Gold
Joined
Dec 16, 2018
Posts
104
Media
11
Likes
436
Points
283
Age
36
Location
Damascus (Dimashq, Syria)
Verification
View
Sexuality
60% Gay, 40% Straight
Gender
Male
Being attracted sexually to men and emotionally to women, growing up in a strict conservative Christian community where sex before marriage is a sin, and living in a country where homosexuality is illegal, ended me up to be 32 years virgin man addicted to porn without any "normal" relationships.

My family and friends started to ask question why I am still single but I can't tell anyone because it would ruin my reputation and career as a medical doctor
Moreover, I enjoy looking at men "more than women", being close to them, touching..Maybe handjob or blowjob..but not having full anal intercourse (even when I watch gay porn I always skip the part with anal intercourse) … I sometimes picture myself having sex with a woman

Maybe it is unsolvable problem but I really need to tell anyone because this is eating me inside
 

chancesare

Loved Member
Joined
Jul 26, 2008
Posts
289
Media
0
Likes
631
Points
348
Location
Los Angeles (California, United States)
Sexuality
100% Gay, 0% Straight
Gender
Male
You sound like me, literally. I even lost my virginity at 32! Now that I have come out to myself, I would say I still deeply value female companionship but am emotionally attracted to men now as much as I always have been physically.

I still don't care for anal, though have in the past and can top, but it's all about oral for me. But, I don't think that is unusual.

Keep in relationship with God and he might hit you over the head with the reality of your orientation as he did with me.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Sami1988

latinluva

Worshipped Member
Verified
Gold
Joined
Jul 31, 2009
Posts
1,783
Media
221
Likes
14,831
Points
543
Verification
View
Sexuality
50% Straight, 50% Gay
Gender
Male
You know, I have always found myself attracted to good, honest, a bit nerdy people with a good sense of humor. I don't what it is, but it really turns me on being around people like that. Men or women, it doesn't matter....since I'm married, I can't really do much with them, unless the wife says it's okay and she joins in. But if I were single, that's who I would gravitate to, sexually and emotionally.
 

WilliamG

Worshipped Member
Verified
Gold
Cammer
Joined
May 31, 2018
Posts
3,134
Media
40
Likes
11,754
Points
433
Location
Los Angeles, California, US
Verification
View
Sexuality
69% Straight, 31% Gay
Gender
Male
Lots of guys privately will agree. How do we know this? Look at the many posts and comments from other guys. I'm the same. Love women. Love the look of a smooth shaved guy with a nice cock, balls, and ass. Not at all in a romantic way.
 
1

1241586

Guest
Maybe it is unsolvable problem but I really need to tell anyone because this is eating me inside

Social constructs as platonic, romantic, monogamy, promiscuity etc... and rigid binary sexual identities don't fit the human experience, along with myths about what does and doesn't constitute 'real sex'. This is where conflict arises with many people around relationships and sex.

I really encourage you to see a psychologist about your issues, preferably one who has experience with bisexuality and sexual fluidity.

There's nothing wrong with who you are, just remember that.
 

Sami1988

Cherished Member
Verified
Gold
Joined
Dec 16, 2018
Posts
104
Media
11
Likes
436
Points
283
Age
36
Location
Damascus (Dimashq, Syria)
Verification
View
Sexuality
60% Gay, 40% Straight
Gender
Male
Thank you guys for you replies ...your words helped me a lot
It is great that you can talk to understanding people with big hearts like you and to know that you are not the only one faces this issues
I am gonna try to figure out who I am and what i really want ...maybe someday I will be in a place where I can be myself and not alone
 

sodominsane

Legendary Member
Joined
Oct 2, 2010
Posts
1,669
Media
0
Likes
2,309
Points
268
Location
ny
Being attracted sexually to men and emotionally to women, growing up in a strict conservative Christian community where sex before marriage is a sin, and living in a country where homosexuality is illegal, ended me up to be 32 years virgin man addicted to porn without any "normal" relationships.

My family and friends started to ask question why I am still single but I can't tell anyone because it would ruin my reputation and career as a medical doctor
Moreover, I enjoy looking at men "more than women", being close to them, touching..Maybe handjob or blowjob..but not having full anal intercourse (even when I watch gay porn I always skip the part with anal intercourse) … I sometimes picture myself having sex with a woman

Maybe it is unsolvable problem but I really need to tell anyone because this is eating me inside
Not really a bi guy....but I hope you fellas won't mind me answering....

It seems it would be real hard to find relationships....most folk want partner to both ....I am guessing...most people dont want a romantic relationship with someone who doesn't find them sexually attractive

How many people want to someone having sex with them and don't care about how the person feels romantically

The good part is ....I'm sure there are those folks

Now for my experiences....I was medical doctor....I have since retired

Yes medicine is a pretty conservative profession.....I was shocked to find in med school that there were men(andvwomen) of science who still denighed evolution....and were stench creationist

Maybe that's cause i went to medical school in bible thumping mid West...Kansas university

However....even in mid West we still had some out the closet gay people.....some loud and proud.....others understated but you could tell by dress...and the fact that they brought a special "friend" to events and parties

So I wouldn't let your job stifle you true self
 

Uncutpete

Superior Member
Joined
Dec 27, 2008
Posts
1,368
Media
133
Likes
7,219
Points
443
Location
New York (United States)
Sexuality
90% Straight, 10% Gay
Gender
Male
One more note of encouragement. Relationship is not as instinctive as the urge for it. It takes learning the skills of being with one other person. 32 years without a close partnership is going to make it tough to learn how to be continuously intimate with another person. The older you get the harder it will be, just as it is with any similar skill. If it takes therapy or analysis, do it. Find out who you want to love and get started!
 
  • Like
Reactions: Sami1988

pursine

Superior Member
Verified
Gold
Joined
Oct 20, 2010
Posts
259
Media
32
Likes
3,448
Points
523
Location
Wales (United Kingdom)
Verification
View
Sexuality
60% Gay, 40% Straight
Gender
Male
You situation today is similar to many men is western countries just 50 years ago. I don’t think you can change your desire. I sure there are also people who feel the same as you, in face I know a few gay Syrians, so I know it is true. You say you are a doctor so you have obviously mastered self-discipline. Tell your family you are married to your work. Some of them might guess different, but that can be the story. I hope you find someone you desire with whom you can have a loving and fulfilling relationship. I really do. Do not give up hope that things will change. Many men in the 60s in the UK did not think they would ever be free to express their desire openly. However, sometimes it just good to express feelings, rather than keeping them pent up inside of you. So do so here if you wish. For the most part we are a supportive family.

Being attracted sexually to men and emotionally to women, growing up in a strict conservative Christian community where sex before marriage is a sin, and living in a country where homosexuality is illegal, ended me up to be 32 years virgin man addicted to porn without any "normal" relationships.

My family and friends started to ask question why I am still single but I can't tell anyone because it would ruin my reputation and career as a medical doctor
Moreover, I enjoy looking at men "more than women", being close to them, touching..Maybe handjob or blowjob..but not having full anal intercourse (even when I watch gay porn I always skip the part with anal intercourse) … I sometimes picture myself having sex with a woman

Maybe it is unsolvable problem but I really need to tell anyone because this is eating me inside
 
  • Like
Reactions: Sami1988

Sami1988

Cherished Member
Verified
Gold
Joined
Dec 16, 2018
Posts
104
Media
11
Likes
436
Points
283
Age
36
Location
Damascus (Dimashq, Syria)
Verification
View
Sexuality
60% Gay, 40% Straight
Gender
Male
Not really a bi guy....but I hope you fellas won't mind me answering....

It seems it would be real hard to find relationships....most folk want partner to both ....I am guessing...most people dont want a romantic relationship with someone who doesn't find them sexually attractive

How many people want to someone having sex with them and don't care about how the person feels romantically

The good part is ....I'm sure there are those folks

Now for my experiences....I was medical doctor....I have since retired

Yes medicine is a pretty conservative profession.....I was shocked to find in med school that there were men(andvwomen) of science who still denighed evolution....and were stench creationist

Maybe that's cause i went to medical school in bible thumping mid West...Kansas university

However....even in mid West we still had some out the closet gay people.....some loud and proud.....others understated but you could tell by dress...and the fact that they brought a special "friend" to events and parties

So I wouldn't let your job stifle you true self
the problem here is with the whole society not medical community specifically
If I decided to have homosexual experience it would be secret or I should leave the country before

Thank you for your advice
 

sodominsane

Legendary Member
Joined
Oct 2, 2010
Posts
1,669
Media
0
Likes
2,309
Points
268
Location
ny
the problem here is with the whole society not medical community specifically
If I decided to have homosexual experience it would be secret or I should leave the country before

Thank you for your advice
Oh fuck....I am sorry....I didn't realize you were Syrian....yeah way different rules....legal and socal
 
  • Like
Reactions: Sami1988

NautiRogue

Superior Member
Joined
Nov 26, 2016
Posts
292
Media
30
Likes
4,419
Points
563
Location
Indiana (United States)
Sexuality
60% Straight, 40% Gay
Gender
Male
Social constructs as platonic, romantic, monogamy, promiscuity etc... and rigid binary sexual identities don't fit the human experience, along with myths about what does and doesn't constitute 'real sex'. This is where conflict arises with many people around relationships and sex.

I really encourage you to see a psychologist about your issues, preferably one who has experience with bisexuality and sexual fluidity.

There's nothing wrong with who you are, just remember that.

I agree completely with 1241586, but I'd also add that I've seen recent articles about the increasing need for counselors/therapists who have experience with and an open attitude toward consensually non-monogamous clients. This could also be a quality to look for in seeking assistance.
 

NautiRogue

Superior Member
Joined
Nov 26, 2016
Posts
292
Media
30
Likes
4,419
Points
563
Location
Indiana (United States)
Sexuality
60% Straight, 40% Gay
Gender
Male
I think I'm understanding that the OP is specifically frustrated in that he is more sexually attracted to men than to women, but he's more emotionally attracted to women than to men. Personally, I think I'm equally physically attracted to both sexes, but I have no emotional attraction to men. I am sexually attracted to both men and women, but I have no desire to kiss a man.

This has worked exceptionally well in my marriage. We are both bi, we're both lifestyle, and we both have sex with others (both bi and hetero sex).