Attracted to Effeminate Guys

[canadianwhiskey]

For some reason i cant get myself to find manly men attractive in comparison to highly feminine people, I think i'm more attracted to femininity in general without caring about genitals at all.

same here. I've realized I can easily get hard for transgenders and effeminate males but masculine men dont do it for me at all soo I recognized a while back that I'm just really attracted to femininity, no matter the form, whether it be woman, transgender or femboy

 

[902369]

I notice men who are attracted to feminine men prefer feminine men that are small and petite which is interesting because women come in all shapes and sizes, thus femininity among gay men shouldn’t only be confined to those that are small and petite.

 

[1059907]

I always viewed myself normal I guess but a lot of people say im effeminate and over time I just embrace it.
Although when a guy asks to describe myself I try to stay away from saying fem because of the way some react to it
I would rather prefer a masc guy but if someone was fem I wouldn't mind

it takes huge balls to be effeminate and proud out about it, i try to keep it on the down low because of the homophobia in my town

 

[Marcum]

I understand you, bernthiswey,
As a masculine guy, I don't myself superior to feminine guys, but attracted by them and led to worship them because they are complementary

Thanks for reading ^^

 

[Cecil56]

I notice men who are attracted to feminine men prefer feminine men that are small and petite which is interesting because women come in all shapes and sizes, thus femininity among gay men shouldn’t only be confined to those that are small and petite.

I fit that discription to a T. No interest what so ever in a masculine hairy dude. To each their own.

 

[Peacemusic]

I’ve been disgusted in the recent years of the hypocrisy and racism and just internalized toxic heteronormativity in the community when I say community I say (ALL IDENTITIES not just one) but some I’m saying Some gay men (especially white gay men) can be some of the most racist, misogynistic and really awful beings some can be so transphobic and just self hating and bully guys who don’t match up to the heteronormative COMPLETELY CONSTRUCTED version of what “being a man or masculinity is” that is toxic masculinity. I hate gender roles and I hate the state of the community I am guilty of being judge mental and I’m the campiest Sissiest being I know, Ughhh it’s a whole conecept is Misogyny that this whole world needs to get over I believe each being is there own being and able to define themselves really if you are masculine than you should be able to do anything without the fear of being seen as “Un-masculine” I think that the “preferences” are racist, and I’m still working on that because of all of the society crap I have to unlearn, I thought the whole point of coming out the closet was stop “acting straight” are you kidding me There is no such thing As To Gay after doing research I realized this problem has been going on in the community since time began “no fats no femmes” go screw Yourself with your toxic and fragile masculinity,


Ughhh Gender is Extremely Complex And guess what there are more than two genders,

I think Beings labeled Effeminate And Femme are stronger and Braver than the butch queens or “masc for masc” which I really think goes back to the “clone” culture in the 1970’s and 1980’s because they don’t hide behind an image that would result in praise or a constructed image of what is “acceptable” and they are being there true selves they including myself go out every day knowing that the world does not agree with them even members of their own community, The Community needs to be a place for ALL Beings Who Are Different!!!!

 

[Peacemusic]

i think aqua kind of hit it for me as far as my opinion of all this goes..... i don't identify as 'femme' or 'flaming' as an absolute persona, but there are parts of me that will come off that way depending on the context.... the same goes for 'masculine' or 'butch'.... depending on who i'm with and what i'm doing, i can come off that way too....

what bothers me about the issue expressed here is when people will go out of their way to be either one or the other, and don't take the time to appreciate the masculine and feminine side of themselves as a natural thing..... sexual orientation has nothing to do with that.... i think it's an insecurity people feel that make them like that....

one thing that's for sure though: whatever way people are going to act has to be done in CONTEXT, and should not be done as a means of either alienating people or pushing people away..... i personally like my men to be 'men', but there's nothing wrong with being fashion forward, having a night out with the girls, or doing that hand-flippy thing from time to time.... that just makes us human.....

but on a final note: any gay guy who goes out of their way to be like a woman to the point that they actually refer tho their own genitalia as a woman's is gross, and i think those people need some serious help in embracing their gender.... if they're going to be THAT much like a woman, maybe they should just BE one.....

You started out good but then you kind of just transitioned into being ignorant again, then again this years ago, but To Be Honest the Anus is like A Vagina they can swallow big objects like dicks and the Vagina when having an oversized clitoris is like a penis So anyways Both sets of genitals have similarities, and there are intersex beings really genitals don’t define gender their just organs and the Gender depends on each beings individual identity

 

[1241586]

Guys who are femme/feminine are sexy.

It's camp guys who are a turn off and who most people don't have the time of day for.

 

[Peacemusic]

Guys who are femme/feminine are sexy.

It's camp guys who are a turn off and who most people don't have the time of day for.

Campiness is a treasure very funny and I think overly criticized there are a lot of valuable life lessons learned through the art of camp and campiness

 

[Peacemusic]

This is an interesting topic. I'm more "middle of the road" type of gay. I'm small framed, slim, not at all physically imposing, and in my opinion more "passable gay" versus "passable straight"; I'm told that's because I'm polished in my appearance and dressed "too coordinated" to be straight. Um, okay - I've know some st8 guys who pull together a look without the aid of their, g/fs, wives or mothers. But I digress. I see myself more of a "Will" than "Jack", from the show Will & Grace. I can "Jack" it up for laughs, but my day to day persona doesnt have purses, pearls or heels fall from my mouth when I speak. My being passable gay in my view, could be contributed to the fact that as one my side careers as a makeup artist and possessing an eye for detail, I can appreciate others like myself who utilize cosmetics - and to clarify the term cobsmetics: A product or item used to improve or enhance one's appearance, so everyone is guilty of using cosmetics, whether it be a comb, hair gel, a razor or MAC cosmetics to present themselves polished and well groomed.Being someone who suffered from cystic acne as a teen and has the scarring to prove it, and knowing how to apply makeup without looking "made up" or like a drag queen, gives my self esteem a boost and I feel more confident in my inter actions with others. However, when I see a guy who is flamboyant in either in appearance or mannerisms I cringe. I think that it stems from the fact that I don't like the fem side of myself, because it has been rubbed in my gay nose that possessing effeminate characteristics is wrong, sick, perceived as being weak, and undesirable. When I read a profile that states that he's masculine and seeks.same, I move onto the next profile because I feel that I wouldn't be perceived as being masculine enough. I think this hyper-masculine trait within the gay community possibly stems from our growing up knowing that we were different, and were either ridiculed for it or observed others being bullied/ridiculed and are afraid of not being accepted for being gay. Try as I may, Im not oober masculine/butch. It's just too exhausting to be something I'm not. I'm me. I love to cook, interior design, keep a clean house, but I'm not opposed to getting dirty working on a project; home improvements, gardening/landscaping, car detailing and yes I like manicured hands on man, myself included. Dating is difficult. Trying to find men who are comfortable enough with themselves and their gayness and secure in the masculinity to date someone who doesn't ooze masculine/butch traits, as well as appreciates mine is like trying to find a needle in a gay stack. I'm not submissive, easily intimidated or manipulated, nor weak and more than once have to correct someone's perceptions about who I am as a gay man.

I apologize for my rant. I hope that I haven't offended anyone. I just wanted to provide some insight from some who hasn't fit into the masculine mold of what being told what being a man is supposed to be and what a man isn't suppose to like, do, or exhibit.

That was some of the best insight really having to do with the way this misogynistic society raises us thinking that exhibiting Feminine or So Called “Girly” Or “Womanly” traits are weak and undesirable when Really They Are Beautiful and Necessary Anyways I Think the main thing for the world to move on From is gender roles that is where most discrimination comes from You Are Truly Intelligent And Extremely introspective

 

[Peacemusic]

I'm just confused.

I probably am slightly effeminate, sometimes. But I don't really like the put-on exaggerated femme gay style.

I attend gym regularly, and will run a half marathon in a couple of months.

I know about computers, engines, etc.

But I also bake bread and cakes and pies and biscuits.

There's room ...

You know what is labeled as “put on” is someone actually being their true selves

 

[1241586]

Campiness is a treasure very funny and I think overly criticized there are a lot of valuable life lessons learned through the art of camp and campiness

Camp is prejudiced and histrionic. It's deeply problematic.

 

[1241586]

That was some of the best insight really having to do with the way this misogynistic society raises us thinking that exhibiting Feminine or So Called “Girly” Or “Womanly” traits are weak and undesirable when Really They Are Beautiful and Necessary Anyways I Think the main thing for the world to move on From is gender roles that is where most discrimination comes from You Are Truly Intelligent And Extremely introspective

 

[Peacemusic]

Realizing now that using a wrong word choice, but I have a different view of beauty when I say beautyifuk I mean “empathy, kindness, being yourself, free” I wanted to call all of the beings that felt the were not beautiful because of society’s standards that they are beautiful because they are themselves, and don’t match up to a hateful system I think Unconebtionality is Beautiful, but over the past year I have realized that Beautiful was my go to compliment and my friend said she was tired of hearing guys call her “beautiful” “I post pictures of science I am taking science classes to become a forensic chemist, why not call me Intelligent” and I realize that was true I want to emphasize intelligence more and strong and powerful and wise other than the word “beautiful” which has a society definition and an individualistic definition, I should have worded my response better i’m truly sorry I’m starting to change my compliments

 

[1241586]

Realizing now that using a wrong word choice, but I have a different view of beauty when I say beautyifuk I mean “empathy, kindness, being yourself, free” I wanted to call all of the beings that felt the were not beautiful because of society’s standards that they are beautiful because they are themselves, and don’t match up to a hateful system I think Unconebtionality is Beautiful, but over the past year I have realized that Beautiful was my go to compliment and my friend said she was tired of hearing guys call her “beautiful” “I post pictures of science I am taking science classes to become a forensic chemist, why not call me Intelligent” and I realize that was true I want to emphasize intelligence more and strong and powerful and wise other than the word “beautiful” which has a society definition and an individualistic definition, I should have worded my response better i’m truly sorry I’m starting to change my compliments

Also when someone calls you beautiful it's coming from their own ego. Attraction and beauty are pretty loaded with personal biases, cultural conditioning and selfish intent.

 

[Peacemusic]

Also when someone calls you beautiful it's coming from their own ego. Attraction and beauty are pretty loaded with personal biases, cultural conditioning and selfish intent.

Extremely biased and cultural perceptions and media influenced and what society puts out

 

[Peacemusic]

Most kind, thank you.

One point I did miss, was that if it was not for effeminate, obvious and flamboyantly gay men of the world being visible, loud and out, then gay rights, cultural and social attitudes and tolerance towards homosexuality in general, would never have been addressed and evolved to today's standards.

We have a long way to go, but at least nowadays, you see positive role models for effeminate and masculine gay men in the media, we don't have to fear being burned alive as unnatural in the civilised world and we can even nearly get married, have kids and be an ordinary and loving family.

As gay men, I feel it's important to remember the world wasn't always so, and still isn't is the some shadows of the world. Many flamboyant and effeminate men have bore the brunt of cultural and social exclusion, disdain and rage while masculine straight acting men like myself, cowardly or afraid or not, have simply stood camouflaged in the accepted perception of masculinity.

I might not overly like flamboyant men, I may not be sexually attracted to effeminate men... but I do thank them and am grateful for the thankless and traumatic frontier path finding many of their lives have and must be.

Cheers my fellow queers. ;-)

I think this is one of the first times I have actually seen a “masc for masc” Besides articles online actually honestly reference the bravery of Femme men and the violence they face more than the “passable” gay guy than you for being honest you know you have a very valuable point a step in the right direction

 

[1241586]

Most kind, thank you.

One point I did miss, was that if it was not for effeminate, obvious and flamboyantly gay men of the world being visible, loud and out, then gay rights, cultural and social attitudes and tolerance towards homosexuality in general, would never have been addressed and evolved to today's standards.

We have a long way to go, but at least nowadays, you see positive role models for effeminate and masculine gay men in the media, we don't have to fear being burned alive as unnatural in the civilised world and we can even nearly get married, have kids and be an ordinary and loving family.

As gay men, I feel it's important to remember the world wasn't always so, and still isn't is the some shadows of the world. Many flamboyant and effeminate men have bore the brunt of cultural and social exclusion, disdain and rage while masculine straight acting men like myself, cowardly or afraid or not, have simply stood camouflaged in the accepted perception of masculinity.

I might not overly like flamboyant men, I may not be sexually attracted to effeminate men... but I do thank them and am grateful for the thankless and traumatic frontier path finding many of their lives have and must be.

Cheers my fellow queers. ;-)

The flamboyant and camp gay men weren't the sole driver of gay liberation, they were the stereotypical face of it and it could be argued that they stunted social acceptance of same sex attracted people and perpetuate homophobia.

When you have a talk to guys who refer to themselves as straight acting, it's not femininity they're rejecting it's camp and histrionic stereotypes associated with gay men.

There again hyper masculinity within bear, gay rugby and leather cultures can also be described as a form of camp.

 

[Peacemusic]

You know what? I think gay men are far too hung up on 'types' and whether people fit their supposed criteria. And unfortunately, the internet encourages this way of thinking even more, because people don't want to take a risk on someone they deem outside of their usual 'interest' group, and websites encourage us to describe ourselves in very specific ways, as well as what we are looking for.

Social and sexual relations are really far more nuanced than the internet leads people into believing and I do feel rather sorry for those who have grown up with the internet and don't really experience more conventional ways meeting gay men.

What I'm saying is that in so many respects, we all a combination different characteristics and very few people are rarely just one way all the time. I've met a fair few gay men who consider themselves to be masculine, when I wouldn't, and conversely I've met self-professed 'camp' guys who, at times, behave in ways that generally considered masculine.

So, camp, butch, dominant, submissive, top, bottom. I think we'd be happier if we just dropped all these labels and experienced and enjoyed each other in all our multifaceted diversity.

Don't limit yourself and don't limit other people.

Your Outlook is extremely honest and very Perfect at how confusing so many labels can be I love the Open mindedness and bravery you have You Are Truly Inspirational I have expieriences the same thing you have but in reverse I was on Grindr and my Profile is what I see as feminine I’m Wearing my makeup the best so far and I’m looking in my mind feminine but I contacted a guy who really liked feminine and transgender Girls, And he said “Sorry your a little to masculine for me” and I was shocked, and I said to my friend “do you really see anything masculine? Does this look masculine? And he said “ no “ “ and coming from me someone who hates gender roles and has the problem of the labels “masculine” I do have my own battles and realizations about what I preach, I don’t like the labels of “masculine” I do like feminine and “feminine” is a label but if one learns the versatility and diversity to the ways with which they can be applied to any gender identity the limits are endless but I realize that the labels of “masculine” and “feminine” are heteronormative which I completely hate, and I hate gender roles so I have this complex thinking I hate gender roles and the construct of masculinity and agree with someone on tumblr who said in response to masc and gem “there’s no such thing” but I still want to remain feminine because that is how I grew up or I have grown attached to the term. I’m still learning about the ways in which masculine and feminine are used but I don’t like the heteronormative stand point they are associated with

This might not make sense to you I have to think more on this a lot, But I am 21 and have grown up with the internet which as you mention does take away the meanings to complexity’s and nuances of relationships and identities and can harbor hate or ignorance, and create ignorant and biased perceptions on what is “right” You Are Extremely Deep And very introspective and knowledgeable on the earth and society I hope humanity can learn from Your words and move into a direction without the use of labels, which I think are good, yet in the cases of what we are talking about I do agree how confusing and damaging they can be,
Double edged sword
I think labels are important in finding out ones identity and finding comfort but I understand the confusion with overlabels sometimes I think that some labels are just created to be discriminatory in the case of one guy who made up a term describing only being attracted to masculinity and “not gay” which how I read the article cake off as misogynistic and just very anti-community and heteronormative plus I was uncomfortable that he was a satanist


Anyways Your insights are truly life changing and very thought provoking and creative and very kind
Thank You for Your Genius Never Stop Speaking Your Mind

 

[Peacemusic]

The flamboyant and camp gay men weren't the sole driver of gay liberation, they were the stereotypical face of it and it could be argued that they stunted social acceptance of same sex attracted people and perpetuate homophobia.

When you have a talk to guys who refer to themselves as straight acting, it's not femininity they're rejecting it's camp and histrionic stereotypes associated with gay men.

There again hyper masculinity within bear, gay rugby and leather cultures can also be described as a form of camp.

I know that Marsha P. Johnson A Black Transgender Woman And Sylvia Rivera A Latinx Being Who had Her Own Very Complex Gender Identity started the Stonewall Riots And It Was The Butch Lesbians, The Drag Queens, The Gender Nonconformists, The “Socially unacceptable” and The Beings Of Color In The Community And The Outsiders Of the Community within the community started the Community Liberation movement with Blood and everything for the and saying all of this “masc for masc” crap is a huge slap in the face to the beings who Were neatened and arrested and murdered who fought for the community to be accepted

Sylvia Rivera Combatted What You are saying She Did not like how the more “socially acceptable middle class” gay community taking over her work and ignoring her and only promoting acceptance for themselves while leaving Her and the Other Trans, Gender nonconforming, poor, not white, unconventional members in the dust I will post a video of the exact speech She made that includes that rhetoric