Wow, it's already about 1/4th a year through 2015. I actually didn't even think of this thread until just today, and figured I'd give an update after the transitions J and I have dealt with and will soon.
I don't remember much of anything from October nor November with J (aside from finally starting my dream career job! Woohoo!), except one night J texted me asking if I wanted to have dinner. I told him "Sure!" and he then asked if I had been to a particular burger joint, which I hadn't, so I agreed to drive out and pick him up right away (as it was already about 8:00pm on a weekday).
While I'm driving out to get him, he sends me extra messages letting me know his Taiwanese girlfriend was with him, and that I'd get to meet her. I felt a bit unsettled at this but figured I'll deal with it, but the whole concept of long distance stranger dating still weirded me out.
[His online Taiwanese girlfriend flew in to the US to visit him for a week for the first time. They had been talking daily for 6 months, over texting, IM, and Skype video chats, so they weren't total strangers, but they had never met in person until that week. I didn't know she was in town and J didn't tell me until that night, but it was a few weeks before Thanksgiving when this happened]
As I continued driving and processing the fact I was helping J take his international girlfriend on a date, he added that they were at her hotel and that I needed to pick them up (15min from the burger place), and my place is already 40min away. I got pissed off at that point. I felt like he was using me to make the best of the time his girlfriend is here and got mad, then I came to a quick conclusion that I was jealous of her, and would be of every girl J dates. Consumed in a hurricane of emotions that rapidly built up in me, I did a U-turn and headed back home while merely sending a response text to J stating that I was pissed off for being used without prior knowledge before leaving. It was later in the evening and too much driving for me to do on a whim on a work night- at least that was my excuse at the time.
It's very rare for me to be angry for any reason at all, and even then my anger dissipates within an hour or less. However, for whatever reason this situation stuck with me. I wasn't angry at J; I was angry at myself. I didn't know how to act around J, and suddenly decided I wanted to keep away from him as much as possible. So I blocked him in every form of communication we've ever used (social media, phone/text, other services with IM, etc). Yes, this was a very selfish and childish thing to do. Probably the most childish thing I've ever done to any friend before. I did it out out of emotion and not reasoning, which is the opposite of what I do normally.
The following weekend I was hosting another Game Night at my apartment, but since I blocked J he wasn't invited, and he found out I was hosting that night from a mutual friend that came over. I found out J wanted to come over, but after my passive aggressive actions he was trying to apologize for 'whatever he did' and that he was sorry, but he didn't want to come over and piss me off. I didn't respond to him at all that night.
A day later I sent a long text message to J stating that I needed a significant amount time without him in my life to sort out my emotions and the reasons I stated prior. He didn't respond until 5 days later (right after Thanksgiving), stating that he's thankful for me and he'll be there for me when I'm ready to come back into his life. That was the end of 2014 for us.
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A few weeks into January, I got a text from J asking when we can be in each other's lives again. It hadn't even been two months, but I knew he really missed me, and I replied back stating I wasn't sure. Then I sent a lengthy apology for my behavior and stated that I wonder how he puts up with me sometimes.
J responded by starting with "Our friendship is more resilient than you think" and essentially put his feet in my shoes. We then talked a bit and got caught up on each other's lives, and on a Friday almost immediately after, J came over for a typical hangout. He actually stayed over the whole weekend, and we had a blast. Our hiatus ended like there never was one, and has been back on par since.
However, it seems that any time we draw apart, we come back even closer. Literally, this time. A month ago J came over one night to hang out as we usually do, and our mutual friend (I will call him D) that I met through J also come over to hang out with us. J and D have been looking out for an apartment to get together for at least 4-5 months now, and when D found out all the apartments in my complex have a garage in a conversation on my patio, he asked J if he'd want to move here. J immediately said "Sure." This bewildered both D and I, so D asked him 5 more times. J responded with a "Yes" without hesistation. I find it weird that J decided on MY apartment complex, an additional 30 min route to his 1hr work trip that he takes with biking + public transit, in less than 5 minutes after all the months they spent looking around.
They signed the lease a few weeks ago, passed the background check (which is lucky for J, after the incident last year. See post #60 if you want to find out what happened), and finalized utilities last week. They're moving in 3 weeks from now, and J will pretty much be in my daily life as a neighbor (though I'm not sure if near me or on the other side of the complex, but it won't really matter).
To top it off, since we've been spending time again this year after our (my?) hiatus, we've planned a camping trip in central Texas this spring. I got my bike fixed up and with new tires, got a dual bike mount for my car so we can haul our bikes out there, and J has been acquiring portal camping and transport gear that he can take on his bike. He's taken his biking and no car situation very seriously, to the point where he bikes 15-40 miles every single day and intends to have enough gear to bike and live anywhere in the wild.
