I simply suggested that objectification isn't always negative to everyone, either by intent or by perception. I have related a tiny bit of my experience to express that it IS different from yours, not to make it seem similar, and that the differences are a huge factor in how we feel about them. I was originally specifically discussing online interaction because that's where this discussion was generated...by the OP's comments and your reaction to them.
But I'm not even saying, it is always negative to my experiences either. Just there are a fair few borderline cases, and some go over the top. I think that is largely related to my sexuality.
But with the online interactions, mine are not only related to what I experience on this site. They do translate across the board. I've been on a few websites in the past, like gaydar, planetromeo, pof, fitlads etc. So obviously I am encountering homoerotically inclined men quite a bit.
Being objectified doesn't bother me so much because I have a full relationship. When I was seeking a full relationship, whether objectification was accepted by me as positive or negative depended where my head was at the time. If I just wanted to get laid, it was great. If I needed my ego stroked, also good. If the person was someone with whom I'd hoped to have a relationship, then it was disappointing and insulting.
The lust part is fine, a couple comments is fine. If it is an extra turn on that is great too. But you know, when it gets to the whole I need to tell everyone part, I think gay/bi men are more likely to do that than women. Hence why I provided examples of why both I and another well endowed gay male friend did get too.
While you claim "privilege blindness", I fail to see how the specifics of gender, or pairing make any difference. Do you know how it feels to be used by a woman? If you are sensitive to something, it hurts. If you need an ego boost, it helps. Does it matter to me whether a guy lusts for my cock or a woman? Nope...both flatter me. Neither will get me because I'm monogamous. The difference for me is that I never sought a bisexual relationship, therefore I wouldn't have felt negatively objectified by a man. But that didn't make for less letdown when the women who only wanted to take a ride indicated there wasn't going to be anything more than sex, and only because my cock is bigger. Feeling used or minimalized is the same regardless of who does it to you. At least it does to me. Your mileage may vary and I respect that.
No absolutely, the privilege blindness comment is not meant as an attack, it's just stating that I go through extra pressures being from a minority, and you've kind of already answered your own question as to why genders make a difference within this thread:
But for males, we are primarily visually stimulated. So we see, we want.
But it's normal for men to objectify visually. It's how we are all wired.
The male gaze is different to the female gaze. This is why androphiles and ambiphilies (so straight women/gay men and bi men/women respectively) are under more pressure to look physically "attractive" (obviously that is subjective). The straight male gaze as
@LaFemme said earlier is very harsh on women, I am talking about the gay male gaze here.
I would never suggest women cannot be manipulative, nor harbour ill intentions. Personally I think it is as patronising to suggest all women are saintly, as it is to say they are all wicked. They are human beings with their own agency, just conditioned differently in gender conditioning and with a few innate differences to men. I know some women can use men in relationships, I have lots of straight friends who have discussed their relationships, emotional hurt is emotional hurt, and I do personally believe the differences between the sexes are MASSIVELY overblown. For example, I don't believe that the male sex drive is necessarily any higher, I think it varies way too much from person to person. I think this concept of "men just wanna get off all the time" is also totally overblown, I think it is mainly cultural conditioning. The one difference I have noticed is, that women seem to be less visually focussed in their sexuality. An interesting difference is when looking within the corresponding heterosexual populations regarding same sex sex:
For example, "lesbian" porn is made primarily for straight men.
Gay male fan fiction is consumed primarily by straight women.
And just simply put, there are proportionally more male size queens than there are female size queens. The majority of androphile or ambiphile women I know, have stated a very explicit preference for average. So I think the objectification would likely take on a slightly different flavour. They'd possibly be conscious of stroking a man's ego, but I think the raw sexual intensity wouldn't have the exact same flavour, though granted it's not something I'm expert at.
Obviously as well there are gender segregated spaces, in gay environments too. Imagine how sexualised a urinal can be sometimes in a gay male space, you have a bunch of cocks on display basically. That can occasionally be an ego boost after a few drinks, but sometimes that is too much, so you just avoid using them and go to the stalls. Because one of the blabbing mouths I was mentioning was a guy standing next to me at the urinal lol. I've seen some guys work themselves up to erections in those places, so they could have a sexually charged dance on the dance floor together.
Hell, my first wife said she only married me for my cock. I usually thought she was joking, but from what I've learned about her since, it may have had truth. So 20 years of marriage was objectification? Should I be insulted? Probably. But I respect myself, always have, so fuck it. We let things be problems a lot more than others make them our problems.
I am enjoying this discussion and your perspective, thanks for sharing it.
Lol, certainly not. I think there could be a small amount of truth to it, but I think a woman is likelier to humour a man to stroke his own ego. And she was probably throwing in a bit of wit too. That has a different flavour to it.